Amazing Final Fantasy Race
Rejected Audition Tapes

Tifa (take one)

Tifa sat by a well in a cobblestone street.

TIFA: Hi. I heard about a race and decided I would like to enter. I am strong, worldly, and...could...wait, why does this paper say I need a partner? Oh...one sec.

Tifa leaves the screen to the right and the camera fades to black. It slowly returns, now with Cloud sitting beside her.

Tifa and Cloud (take two)

TIFA: Hi. I heard about a race and decided we would like to enter. I'm really strong, worldly, and I...could...

Tifa trails off as she watches Cloud slowly stand up and march off the screen, mumbling to himself.

CLOUD: Sephiro~th....

Tifa stands up and chases him as the camera fades to black.

Tifa and Cloud (take three)

TIFA: Hi. I heard about a race and--

CLOUD: Sephiro~th.... (marches off slowly)

Tifa and Cloud (take four)

TIFA: H--

CLOUD: Sephiro~th!!! (marches off slowly)

TIFA: Fine! I don't need you to race! I'll just get a new partner! Someone like...uhh...uhh! Oh forget it!

Tifa is handed a paper, which she reads.

TIFA: "Dear prospective contestant. There are certain 'qualifications' you possess that this show needs to draw in an audience. Do not worry about finding a partner, we will just appoint you with one." Awesome! Wait..."Qualifications?" They'd better not just put me on because of my...ugh. Oh well. I just hope they don't pair me with some lesbian.