Amazing Final Fantasy Race
Rejected Audition Tapes

Palom and Porom were out playing in a garden. Palom would cast spells like Toad and Pig on Porom, then she would cure the spell and kick Palom.

PALOM: Best racers ever, right here!

POROM: We may be young, but we'll definitely try our best.

PALOM: Try our best? Blah! Don't be such a lame-a-zoid! We'd kick butt and nobody would ever see it coming! Best plan you ever did see!

POROM: But there's always--

PALOM: "Who are those kids?" "Oh, they're nobodies! They'll go first for sure." And then we'll be all "Zoom!" and "Woosh!" and everybody will be all "Ohhhhh" and "They're amazing!"

POROM: I hope so, but--

PALOM: And then when we win the million gil, all these ladies will be like "I'm in love with you!" and I'd be like "Get in line, sister!"

POROM: Why am I--

PALOM: And then she'd be like "I'd wait a million years for you!" And I'd be all "Good thing, because if I dedicated just one day to each of the ladies that'll be begging for me, that's how long it'd take!"

POROM: And with my half of the million, I'd--

PALOM: Ha! Good one, sis! Your half. Anyway, so then I'd probably tell the producers of the show like, "Hey, people loved us so much on the race, maybe we should get a spinoff show called 'Kickin' it with Palom.'"

POROM: What about me?

PALOM: And the producers would be like "ZOMG! We were just about to ask you to do a show like that!" And I'd be like "I know." And it'd be a dating show featuring me and a zillion babes and we'd just hang out and stuff. And I'd give them challenges like "Be nice to my sister," but that's actually a trick because the one that wins the challenge would be the one that actually isn't nice to her and is instead nice to me and dances for me and stuff. And then she'll win the whole thing and think that we're gonna get married, but we won't! Because I mean, pshaw! Can you imagine a guy like me tied down?

POROM: Silence!

Porom casts Silence of Palom. When the spell hits, he is finally silent and sits on the grass and sulks with his arms crossed.

POROM: I think it's best if we don't race. . . .