Amazing Final Fantasy Race
Rejected Audition Tapes

Ultros and Mr. Chupon stood on stage at an opera house.

ULTROS: Mi mi mi mi MI mi mi MEEEEEEEEE!

CHUPON: Fungah?

ULTROS: No, don't worry, this is our last time applying. Only this time, we're applying for a different position.

CHUPON: FUNGAH!

ULTROS: Yeah! Seriously though, I have no idea what that means. Maybe if somebody else applied with me we'd have made it. But check this out! This is ME, Ultros, as the host of the show! Mr. Chupon has found us 11 teams of 2 to try this out! So here we go, everybody!

Mr. Chupon pushes 11 eager teams of random people onto the stage. They all seemed very eager and seemed to actually believe they were the next contestants for the show.

ULTROS: Welcome everybody to The Amazing Octopus Race! I'm your excellent host: Ultros! Please, hold your applause until....right now!

The 22 people cheered wildly.

ULTROS: I need to tell people I'm a gameshow host more often! This is great! Okay, so there are a lot of places to go, am I right? And you'll travel many miles, can I get a what-what?

The 22 people cheered, but it was starting to turn awkward.

ULTROS: Screw it, on your marks, get set, travel scrumptiously....GO!

The "racers" all ran forward, but then started slowing down when they saw no clues nor backpacks nor cameras.

ULTROS: Oh! My bad, ya'll! Your first clue is an audio clue! Yeah, that's it! Spoken by me! Okay, so gather 'round!

They gathered 'round.

ULTROS: First up is a Detour! It's a choice between two things, each with a pro or con or...something. In this one, you gotta chose between Pro or Con. In Pro, you all put butter and spices all over your body and wait up on the roof, baking in the sun until I get there and give you a clue. Close your eyes and no peeking. In Con, I've got this 4 ton weight that you have to carry like, a million miles. So choose! I'll get my bib and meet ya on the roof!

The racers all looked around at each other while Ultros left the room with a splash. What he splashed into the world may never know. Most of the racers found the stack of 4 ton weights and tried to move them, but couldn't. They all sighed, then headed up to the roof. The cameraman, not being retarded, turned off the camera and left.