Amazing Final Fantasy Race
Rejected Audition Tapes

Zorn and Thorn spoke to the camera while dancing around the Alexandrian castle's dungeon. Both gesured as they spoke, waving their arms around a lot.

ZORN: We are Zorn and Thorn.

THORN: Thorn and Zorn, we are.

ZORN: We would like to go on The Amazing Final Fantasy Race.

THORN: Love it, we would. Prepared for it, we have!

ZORN: Yes. We are greatly prepared. Our friend and queen, Queen Brahne, raced last season.

THORN: Asked her to give us examples of possible clues, we did. Seen them already, we have not.

ZORN: (he opens a folded piece of paper taken from his pocket) It says, "Roadblock: Who's ready to bring the queen some candy."

THORN: Difficult choice, that is.

ZORN: Is that true?

THORN: True, it is!

ZORN: Who will do the task?

THORN: The best choice, who would that be?

ZORN: I am very agile. Perhaps I should save my Roadblocks for something that uses agility. Or perhaps for magic. I am good at both.

THORN: Truly you are, but similar I am! Agile and magical, I am.

ZORN: We have quite the dilemma.

THORN: Quite the dilemma, we have.

ZORN: I am torn!

THORN: Thorn, am I! Zorn, you are!

ZORN: I said "torn!"

THORN: Oh. Wrongly, I heard you. Equally torn, am I.

ZORN: Maybe if we knew other tasks. The queen has written us more.

THORN: More, she has written?

ZORN: She has, truly! (he unfolds a second piece of paper taken from his pocket) This says, "Detour: Bring Men or Bring Candy."

THORN: Intriguing, it is. The details, what are they?

ZORN: Both say to bring the required items to the queen. We either find "hot men" and bring them to her, or we find "tasty candy" and bring it to her.

THORN: Torn, I am.

ZORN: As am I. The first task requires we be agile, which we both are!

THORN: Also requires we find hot men, it does.

ZORN: But we are not gay.

THORN: Gay, we are not. Candy, is it best?

ZORN: It requires knowing tasty things, which we do.

THORN: Tasty things, I know.

ZORN: There! Then we will do "Bring Candy!"

THORN: "Bring Candy," we shall do!

ZORN: How long did that take us to decide?

THORN: Ten minutes, it took.

ZORN: We are slow.

THORN: Slow, are we. Lose, we would.

ZORN: We would lose. We changed our minds.

THORN: Changed our minds, we have! Cut out for the race, we are not.

ZORN: It is Thorn's fault.

THORN: Truly, is it? Poor reader, Zorn is. Time, he consumed.

ZORN: Did I truly?

THORN: Truly, you did!

ZORN: We would be terrible.

THORN: Truly terrible, we would be.