Episode 3: Part 2

<Amarant & Lani: Coworkers, Currently in 4th>
     Amarant grabbed the clue from the box and ripped it open. "Roadblock. I'm doing it."
     "You didn't even read it!" Lani yelled. "What's the clue? What if it's something like 'who's got the hottest bod'?"
     "Then I'd better do it if we don't want to come in behind that fat man in red."
     "Oh that's it," Lani said, rolling up her sleeves. "I'm gonna hurt you so bad."
     "I'm doing the roadblock before those other guys beat us," Amarant said, looking behind Lani at Steiner and Beatrix who were running up the stairs and headed for the clue box. Amarant walked down to the Chugging Contest and waited in line.

     Beatrix grabbed the clue and read it. "Roadblock. Who's thirsty?"
     "We decided I'm doing anything that involves eating," Steiner said. "Does that include drinking?"
     Beatrix nodded, then opened the roadblock and both read the details to themselves. Beatrix seemed a bit worried, but once Steiner finished reading it, he raised his arms and cheered. Beatrix watched in confusion.
     "Don't worry about me!" Steiner said. "I was born for this kind of thing! When you grow up with the name Steiner, you get used to chugging beer. I'll be right back Beatrix-dear."
     Steiner ran off to line up for the Chugging Contest.

     "Time's up!" the fat man yelled at Fujin. "Only seven, sorry sweetie, you'll need to go to the end of the line."
     "DAMMIT!" Fujin yelled, walking back to the end of the line.
     "Don't worry Fujin!" Raijin yelled from the sidelines. "You'll get it next time, ya know. Maybe next time you shouldn't take the time to crush the cans on your head, ya know?"

     Edgar was next to step up to the challenge. He glanced over to Sabin and gave a thumbs up. "Watch and learn world! I'll show the world how the Figaros drink!"
     He picked up his first can and popped it open. While he started chugging the first one, he popped the next can sitting on the table and raised it with his opposite hand.

<Rikku & Yuna: Cousins, Currently in last place>
     Rikku and Yuna flew out of the whirlpool and started to run toward the fair, when Rikku suddenly caught a glimpse of a clue box.
     "Yunie!" Rikku yelled, tugging on Yuna's shoulder. "What's a clue box doing here?"
     "Is this a fair?" Yuna said, looking around. She shrugged and walked with Rikku to the clue box. "Well, maybe the fair was cancelled or something."
     Rikku reached into the clue box and pulled out the only clue in the box. "It's a roadblock Yunie. Who's stupid?"
     "Oh man, that's a tough one," Yuna said. "I think I can do it."
     "Okay," Rikku said. "It says here you need to do one hundred pushups, then find someone with your next clue. Better get started Yunie! We must be way behind by now!"
     Yuna dropped to the floor and started doing pushups while Rikku counted her off.

<Strago & Relm: Grandpa/Granddaughter, Currently in 6th>
     Relm ran to the clue box at Leene's Bell while Strago continued up the stairs. "Who's thirsty?" Relm read. "Oh heck yeah baby. I'm thirstier than a fish out of water!" Relm read through the details and was not stunned at all. She tossed the clue down and ran to line up behind Fujin.
     Strago found the clue on the ground and read it through. "Oh Relm," he said. "Well, it's a good thing I know a thing or two about drinking!" Strago laughed triumphantly, then ran off into the main portion of the fairgrounds in search of something.

     "You need to run faster Fatty," Rufus said as they passed Strago on the way to the clue box. "That old guy that died last leg even beat us here." Rufus stomped over to the clue box and pulled the clue out. "Who's thirsty? You are. Get a move on. You're the one-way refrigerator, so this should be no problem for you. Hell, it's alcohol! You drink during staff meetings."
     "Thanks for the confidence Ralphs," Shinra said.
     "No no no you didn't just call me Ralphs," Rufus said. "Oh come on! I'll bet you have some of your fondest memories at Ralphs, but come on."

     Edgar slammed down his eighth can and exhaled audibly.
     "Congratulations!" the fat man said, pulling a clue out from behind him, probably in his back pants pocket, but nobody really wanted to check where it came from. He handed the clue to Edgar. Edgar took the clue and headed over by Leene's Bell so nobody would hear the clue.
     Sabin ran over to Edgar as he ripped open the clue. "Make your way to the Bangor Dome in the year 2300 A.D."

<Announcer Gippal>
     "Teams must now make their way to the Bangor Dome several years on the future via a portal located in Guardia Forest. Once they go through the portal, they will find their next clue."

<Edgar & Sabin: Brothers, Currently in 1st>
     "Any idea where the forest is?" Sabin asked Edgar.
     "Best bet is that giant forest over there," Edgar said, pointing to Guardia Forest. "That's gotta be it, let's check it out."

     Rinoa moved shakily up to the Chugging Contest table and picked up her first can. She looked at the can for a few seconds before deciding that if she didn't get this whole thing over with, the Figaro brothers would have an easy win, and Squall would never let her hear the end of it. Her attitude changed suddenly to a completely serious one as she popped the can and started chugging the first beer.

<Auron & Jecht: Grizzled Old Guys, Currently in 8th>
     Auron reached for the clue box and pulled out their clue. "Roadblock. Who's thirsty?"
     Both he and Jecht looked over at the chugging contest going on not far from where they stood. The aroma of beer filled the air.
     "Dibs!" Auron yelled, louder than he normally yells.
     "Now that's just bullshit," Jecht said. "I have to put on a miniskirt and expose myself to the world, and you get to drink?"
     "Sorry Jecht, but it's like they say. You snooze, you lose. I called it first, bitch. Move."
     Auron pushed Jecht aside and lined up for the Chugging Contest.

     "Eight!" Rinoa yelled, slamming the last beer down in record time.
     The fat man raised his eyebrows in shock, looking down at his stopwatch. "That's the second best time we've ever had. Definitely the top speed for a woman." He handed her the clue and offered his hand for a handshake. Rinoa looked down at the hairy, definitely unclean hand, and waved a polite 'no thanks' to him. Rinoa took the clue and ran to Squall on the sidelines.
     "So?" Rinoa said, putting her hands behind her back and swaying back and forth like a two-year old.
     "So what?" Squall asked.
     "Aren't you gonna tell me what a good job I did?"
     "Sure. Good."
     Rinoa smiled and continued to sway until she started to tip over. Squall barely caught her hand in time and held her up. Rinoa was still standing for the most part, but her eyes had almost completely shut as she drifted off to sleep.
     "..." Squall pulled Rinoa's hands over his shoulders and propped her up onto his back in a familiar fashion. Once she was secure, he threw the two backpacks onto Rinoa's back and hauled everything toward Guardia Forest like a pack mule.

     Meanwhile, at the Chugging Contest, Amarant stepped up to the table and used a new strategy. He opened every can on the table before he started chugging down can after can like they were nothing. Lani watched from the sidelines, sulking about Amarant's comment earlier. He'd gotten through six cans when he reached for the seventh can, but accidentally knocked the eighth can off the table, spilling beer all over the ground. Amarant started to chug the seventh can when he was interrupted by a loud buzzing noise and a bright flashing sign reading "Don't Spill the Beer."
     "Ohh, I'm sorry," the fat man said. "You've spilled the beer and you're disqualified. You'll have to line back up."
     "You're kidding, right?" Amarant asked, lowering the can at his lips.
     "Sorry fella. If you would've just knocked an unopened can off that's fine, you can pick it back up. But since you opened it, you lost beer, and we can't replace."
     "Lick it off the ground like the dog you are!" Lani yelled from the side.
     "No, sorry," the fat man said. "Can't do that because it's disgusting."
     "Shit," Amarant said, spiking his current can into the ground.

     Steiner moved to the table and started collecting the cans together.
     "Beatrix-dear?" Steiner said. "Do you have one of our skinnier swords on you?"
     Beatrix searched her things, eventually coming upon a rune blade. She handed it to Steiner.
     "Thank you. Now stand back and observe. This always impresses the Knights of Pluto."
     Steiner started stacking all the cans on top of each other; every can facing down. He gave Beatrix a thumbs up, then picked up the rune blade and stabbed it straight through the stack of eight cans, making sure it didn't come out through the last can. The fat man started timing from the second he punctured the cans, but Steiner continued to take his time. He twisted the rune blade in a full circle and leaving it sticking through all the cans. Then, in one quick motion, Steiner grabbed the first and eighth cans and lifted them above his mouth, then popped the bottom can with his upper teeth. The beer came streaming out the bottom, but Steiner didn't let a single drop escape. He chugged for quite a while, when finally the beer stopped pouring out. Steiner pulled his mouth from the can and gave an 'ahh' of relief before grabbing the sword and swinging it wildly. The cans flew off the sword, every one of them with a wide hole through both ends, and every one of them completely dry.

     "Hot damn that rocked!" Jecht said from the sidelines. "Hey Auron! Write that down. I wanna try that one day."
     "As do I," Auron responded.

     The fat man's mouth was hanging open as he stopped the clock after only forty-seven seconds. A few nearby spectators started applauding. Steiner took a bow and received the clue from the fat man. Beatrix joined Steiner as the two started off to Guardia Forest.
     "That explains why you took me to a pub on our first date," Beatrix said. Beatrix looked at Steiner and saw a very awkward look on his face. "What's wrong Adelbert?"
     "Beatrix, would it be rude for me to loudly belch in front of you?" Steiner asked.
     Beatrix nodded matter-of-factly.
     "Okay," Steiner said. "Wait here then." Steiner ran into a nearby bathroom and closed the door tightly. A couple seconds later he rejoined Beatrix. "Whew, I feel refreshed. Let us continue!"

     Raijin watched at Fujin stepped up to the table for a second time.
     Rufus moved closer to Raijin and pointed to Fujin. "Your girl looks a bit shaky," he said. "You sure she can handle so much beer in such a short time?"
     "I'm sure Fujin can do it," Raijin said. "She's tough, ya know? Besides, the day our buddy Seifer snuck some a keg into the Garden, she drank us both under the table, and we're big guys, ya know. She was still walkin' around yelling at people and me 'n Seifer were hangin' off each other just to stay standin'." Raijin turned to Fujin and shouted, "Come on Fujin!"
     Fujin turned to look at him, then gave a confirming nod and began her second attempt.

<Rikku & Yuna: Cousins, Currently in last place>
     "Come on Yunie!" Rikku encouraged. "Only one more!"
     Yuna could barely feel her arms, but she still managed to push out one more pushup before flopping to the ground.
     "Good job Yunie! Now let's go get the next clue from uhh." Rikku looked around.
     "What about her?" Yuna said, motioning as best she could to Lara.
     "Yeah, her!" Rikku pulled Yuna to her feet and the pair ran toward Lara.
     "Excuse us," Yuna said. "Do you have a clue?"
     "B-beg pardon?" Lara said, a bit taken back.
     "Did you see a bunch of people run through here already?"
     "I did," Lara said. "All of them were headed toward the Millennial Fair up north."
     "Wait a second," Rikku said. "This isn't the fair?"
     Lara looked around at the surrounding nothingness. "No, of course not. This is private property."
     "Then what's that box out there?" Yuna said, pointing to the clue box.
     "Oh, a couple of older gentlemen left that there on their way to the fair. They said ifwe let them leave it there, we can use it for inventions! They even said it came from the future! I'll bet Taban will love it!"
     "Ooooh!" Rikku fumed with anger, shaking a fist at nothing. "I'm gonna KILL those two! Let's go Yuna!"
     "Right! They make me mad," Yuna said. She paused to think. "Wait a minute, who?"

     "You're kidding me," Rufus said in disbelief as he saw Fujin walk angrily away from the Chugging Contest.
     "This is bad," Raijin said. "We're supposed to be in first place, ya know. We were here first. What happened?"
     "Don't worry," Rufus said, patting him on the back. "I think I know what team is gonna be cut." Rufus looked up and pointed to the next contestant approaching the Chugging Contest. Raijin cracked a smile.

     Relm could barely even reach the drinks on the table, but she still seemed willing and able to do the task.
     "Umm, little girl?" the fat man said confusedly. "This is only for the older folks. You'll have to-"
     "Cram it!" Relm ordered. "I'm on the race, and I have to do this, so I'm going to. But beer is gross, so no offense, but-" Relm pinched her nose and picked up the first can, popping it open and chugging it down.

<Edgar & Sabin: Brothers, Currently in 1st>
     Edgar and Sabin stared at the portal in Guardia Forest. Neither one seemed to want to open it.
     "I hate these Bro," Sabin said. "You never know where it'll take us. The last one took us into someone's house. What if this one's in like, a dungeon or something?"
     "It said it was in the future, right?" Edgar said, pulling the gate key out of his pocket.
     "Yeah, it did. But what if future dungeons are scarier than umm, here dungeons."
     "Don't look at it like that," Edgar said. "I look at things optimistically, and I'm pretty sure the other side of this thing is a ladies' locker room, filled with naked hot future chicks."
     "You think so Bro?" Sabin asked excitedly.
     "Of course! And besides, future chicks are so damn hot you may not want to look at the whole package at once. You might go blind. I hear it happens."
     "Well open the damn thing then!" Sabin demanded, grabbing the gate key from Edgar and pointing it at the portal. The portal opened and both brothers raced in, both trying to push the other behind him.

     "S-she did it," Rufus said, his jaw wide open. Raijin beside him had the same expression on his face, and both were caught speechless.

     Relm grabbed her clue from the fat man and started to head off into the rest of the fairgrounds when she found her teammate. Strago was carrying a large sack full of water in his hand. He promptly handed it over to her.
     "The hell kind of prize is this?" Relm asked.
     "Drink it," Strago said. "It's to help sober up. If you drink water, it dilutes the alcohol. This way the alcohol won't hit you so bad."
     "I'm not drunk!" Relm slurred. "I don' nee wa tah lo-"
     "Drink the damn water!" Strago ordered. "You can't even form a sentence. Now we're not leaving until you finish it."
     Relm took the water and sat on the ground drinking it while Strago stood over her and made sure she finished it.

     "Hey man, sorry about your loss here," Rufus said to Raijin, "but dude you have got to check this out. It's Fatty's turn, and you aren't gonna believe this shit right here. It's creepy as hell. When he eats he can unhinge his jaw like a snake. When he drinks, now that's just scary. I swear his neck is a transformer. He just pours junk right down his throat."
     "Sounds like good news for you guys," Raijin sulked. "I just wish this wasn't a speed competition, ya know? Fujin can down beer like anything, but she's still a little chick and can't quite swallow that much."
     "Well that Relm girl-" Rufus started.
     "Is one freaky messed up kid," Raijin finished.

     Shinra stepped up to the Chugging Contest and immediately started doing very peculiar things with his neck. It looked like a cat about to throw up a hairball. Finally he was ready and pointed his mouth straight up. He grabbed a beer in each hand and poured them into his mouth as if he were just pouring it down the drain. After only about thirty seconds, he had downed all eight cans.

     "Jesus Christ!" Raijin yelled, looking at President Shinra.
     Rufus patted him on the back as he stood up. "Well, I'd better be making the most out of this leg. It might be one of the only ones we'll be able to pull off a win."
     Shinra fixed his neck and took his clue from the fat man and left toward Guardia Forest with Rufus.

<Edgar & Sabin: Brothers, Currently in 1st>
     "What a rip," Sabin said, looking around in the empty Bangor Dome. "No naked chicks."
     "Sorry Sabin," Edgar consoled. "They must've all gone home for the day."
     Sabin opened the clue box that was right next to the exit to the dome. "Make your way to Arris Dome."

<Announcer Gippal>
     "Teams must now make their way to the Arris Dome by first traveling through the destroyed buildings known as Lab 16. Once they reach the dome, they will find their next clue."

<Edgar & Sabin: Brothers, Currently in 1st>
     "Well, let's go," Edgar said.
     Sabin and Edgar headed north to Lab 16.

     "This is pointless," Auron said, looking at the eight beers in front of him.
     "What is? Drinking?" Jecht asked.
     "Hardly. I mean me drinking. After the one drinks a beer tower, the little girl downs all eight, and the fat guy drinks it faster than it'd even pour out, it's pointless. There's nothing I can do to outdo them."
     "Just drink the damn beer before I do!" Jecht ordered.
     Auron complied and stared drinking.

<Rikku & Yuna: Cousins, Currently in last place>
     Yuna and Rikku reached the clue box at Leene's Bell and ripped it open.
     "Roadblock," Rikku said.
     "You do it," Yuna said. "I did the last one."
     "I'm pretty sure I did the last one. It was the merchant thing, remember?"
     "No, I mean the one back there. That one was hard as hell. One hundred pushups takes it out of you."

     Auron, overhearing Yuna and Rikku's conversation, choked on the beer, barely holding his mouth shut before swallowing so he could laugh out loud.
     "I told you it would work," Jecht said.
     Auron laughed, then resumed drinking. After a short while, he slammed down his eighth beer. The fat man handed him his clue. Both Auron and Jecht started to walk to Guardia Forest when suddenly Jecht tripped and stumbled until he hit a wall, which he used to regain his balance.
     "The hell?" Jecht said, looking around for what tripped him, eventually coming upon a bare leg sticking out of the line for the Chugging Contest.
     Rikku looked over her shoulder and started to pull her leg back. "Oh whoops!" she said, then smiled a very evil smile at Auron and Jecht.
     "Looks like we've got some enemies now," Auron said.
     "I'll say," Jecht said, rubbing his arm.

<Squall & Rinoa: Dating, Currently in 2nd>
     Squall finally came across the portal in Guardia Forest, lugging Rinoa and the backpacks all the while. He started patting down his jacket for the gate key but was unable to locate it. He put Rinoa and the backpacks down to look for it. He found it in his back pants pocket, and started collecting the backpacks and Rinoa when suddenly he saw Steiner and Beatrix coming toward him quickly.
     "This way Adelbert! I can see it!" Beatrix yelled, running for the portal.
     Paying no mind to Squall bent over picking up backpacks and women, Steiner and Beatrix ran past him and used their gate key to open the portal. The portal suddenly began to open when Squall spoke up from behind them.
     "I was here first," Squall said. "If you don't mind, that portal is mine."
     "Sorry sir," Beatrix said, stepping into the portal, "but this is a race."
     Steiner joined her in the portal and waited for it to close, when Squall suddenly became overly competitive. As a means of marking his portal, Squall threw everything in his arms into the portal. Everything in his hands at that moment happened to be one backpack and Rinoa. The portal made a different noise as it closed, but Squall paid no attention to it. He collected the last backpack and extended the gate key to the portal. It opened, and he entered.
     The portal reopened and Squall stepped out. What he saw when he stepped out was not what he'd expected. While he'd figured Steiner and Beatrix would be long gone, he hadn't expected them to drag Rinoa with them. He started looking around to see where they could've put her, but was unable to find her.

<Steiner & Beatrix: Dating, Currently in ???>
     Steiner and Beatrix looked around at their portal's destination. There was a small fenced off area with several lights shooting out of the ground, but aside from that, everything was pitch black. Nothingness.
     "Who's there?" a man's voice in the distance said.
     "Sir Steiner and Lady Beatrix of Alexandria," Steiner responded. "Oh, and also this girl here I guess. A-and our camera guy of course."
     "Why would you want to come to the End of Time then?" the man asked.
     "End of what?" Beatrix asked. "Look, we're in a race, and we're looking for some Bangor Dome thing."
     "I see. Not sticking around to talk to me. Well then, just search those pillars of light. Once you find it, just use your gate key."
     Steiner and Beatrix looked around and came across the pillar for Bangor Dome.
     "Thank you!" Beatrix yelled, then held up the gate key, sending them back to Bangor Dome.

     Amarant slammed down his seventh beer and the fat man handed him his clue. Lani jumped down from a vendor's booth that she'd been sitting on and joined Amarant. Both ran off in silence.

     Fujin finally finished her sixth beer and received her clue. Raijin raced in from the sidelines and joined her in reading through the clue.
     "Hey, good job Fujin," Raijin said. "Now let's go. We've got time to make up, ya know?"
     Fujin nodded and took off running to Guardia Forest.

     Rikku finally stepped up to the drinking contest and started tearing through can after can like they were nothing. Yuna stood to the side and watched. She held the backpacks ready as if she knew Rikku wouldn't take too long to finish.