Episode 5: Part 3

     "Okay, there's your target, Sabin," Edgar said. He pointed across the gorge at the control switch. "We'll take turns until we hit the damn thing. You go first so I won't ever have to."
     Sabin took one of the spears out of the bag and held it like a javelin. He tossed it up and down a couple times to test the weight, then threw the spear at the target. The spear flew straight through the air and stuck into the wall behind the controls.
     "Nice try," Edgar said. He pulled out the next spear and mimicked Sabin's form. He then threw the spear at the target, but the spear wobbled in the air and clattered to the ground near the target.
     "Maybe we should practice somewhere first," Sabin suggested. "I mean, if we throw all of our spears across the gorge, we'll have to get more."
     "Good idea. Let's try over there."
     Sabin and Edgar took their sack of spears across the room and practiced throwing the spears at a nearby wall.

     Yuna ran through the hallways while dodging as many skeleton buzzards as she could. She narrowly avoided a couple that attempted to get her from either side, when suddenly one that she didn't see flew straight at her. It was moments away from hitting her when she noticed it and cringed. She shut her eyes and heard a sudden explosion. She opened an eye and peeked out. In front of her was Rufus holding a smoking shotgun.
     "Oh, sorry," Rufus said as he reloaded his gun. "I thought that guy was gonna hit me. Hmm. Guess I should've just let him go for it."
     "Wait, we can use guns?" Yuna asked Rufus.
     Rufus shrugged. "I really don't give a damn. I just know these flying skeleton shits weren't part of the detour description, so I'm making it easier on myself. I don't give a damn if we get a penalty. Hell, I don't even care if we get eliminated."
     Yuna pulled her two pistols out and twirled them around a bit. "I don't care either. Let's go!"
     "Hey Fatty! I'm comin' up on the first gate! Open it up!" Rufus yelled.
     Rufus and Yuna ran through the maze as they came across the first gate. It was opened for them already. Yuna ran through first.
     "Good job, Tubs," Rufus said as he started through the doorway. Suddenly, just as he stepped through, the spear gate shot back up. It narrowly avoided Rufus, but one of the spears skewered the back of his jacket.
     "I'll get the next door for ya," Shinra's voice echoed through the pyramid.
     "Shit!" Rufus yelled as he slipped and fell onto the ground. 
     Yuna stopped and ran back to Rufus. "Rikku! Door one please!"
     The spears lowered and Rufus slid his jacket out of the gate. Yuna helped him to his feet. Rufus only stared at her. He was unable to speak.
     "Don't worry 'bout it," Yuna said. "It was returning the favor from before."
     Rufus nodded. "Okay, let's kick some buzzard ass!"
     Yuna and Rufus ran through the maze, firing shots at the barrage of skeleton buzzards that were coming their way. In several instances they even shot the ones that were completely still, just on principle.

     "So whatcha think?" Jecht asked Auron as they walked slowly into the main hallway of the Halls of Collosia.
     "It's certainly a gamble," Auron said. "I love gambling."
     "Good," Jecht said.
     Both Auron and Jecht approached the throwing point for the walkway controls and they placed the giant sack of spears in between them. They looked at each other and nodded, then both grabbed the sack. The spearheads stuck out the top of the bag as Auron and Jecht both picked up the bag. They grabbed the top of the bag with the hand closest to the target and the bottom of the back with the other, then they started swaying with the bag. They counted down. Three. Two. One. HURL!
     Auron and Jecht gave one final and extremely powerful lunge with the bag, and the spears in the bag all shot out at once. The spears flew through the air and bounced off of each other often. It was a loud clattering noise through the air as the spears started to fall in the air. They all headed down into the gorge, but two spears were able to keep altitude as they flew directly into the controls. The bridge shot out and gave way for Auron and Jecht to cross. Auron and Jecht cheered and high-fived.
     "I told you it'd work! I'm the best!" Jecht yelled.
     Auron and Jecht ran across the bridge and obtained the clue from the Amazing Final Fantasy Race Ninja.
     "Pitstop," Auron read. "No time to wa-"
     "I know! Let's go!" Jecht yelled. Both he and Auron ran quickly out of the Halls of Collosia after taking a brief second to laugh at the brothers as the practiced throwing the spears.

     "Screw this," Sabin said. "I'll get it. You give me the spears and I'll chuck 'em."
     Sabin grabbed the bag of spears and headed to the throwing area. Edgar handed him the first spear. He threw it and it stuck in the wall, not far from the other spear he'd thrown. Edgar handed him another spear, and Sabin quickly threw it again. It bounced off the first spear and clattered to the ground.
     "Aim a bit lower, Sabin," Edgar said.
     "I noticed, Bro," Sabin said. "Next spear."

     Amarant and Lani ran up to the mat and faced Gippal.
     "Lani and Amarant," Gippal said. "Y-"
     "Wait wait wait," Lani said. "I just want Amarant to acknowledge that he put my name first this time. Okay, Gip. Continue."
     "Amarant and Lani-"
     "That' some cold shit right there, Gip!" Lani yelled.
     "Sorry. Well you are team number two!"
     "Really!?" Lani yelled. "That's awesome! No penalties for suc-"
     "About that," Gippal interupted. "Actually that was perfectly legal because you "helped the merchant" that gave the Moxa Stick. If you'd "helped" the Ruby Heart merchant, then you'd be hit with a penalty that would have basically put you out of the race."
     "I see," Lani said.
     "So stop doing that," Amarant ordered.
     "Bite my ass, Red!"

     Beatrix and Steiner ran to the mat and faced Gippal. Both gave their own salutes. Steiner's salute was an open hand to his forehead, while Beatrix was a closed fist against her chest.
     "Steiner and Beatrix," Gippal said, "you're team number three!"
     "At this point, third is still a victory," Steiner said.
     "It's my fault," Beatrix said. "I got us lost looking for this camp."
     "And it's your fault that we completed the roadblock so darn fast too!" Steiner said with a wink.
     "Thank you, Adelbert," Beatrix said.

     "Last button!" Yuna yelled out as she and Rufus continued to run through the pyramid as if it were some sort of training course. They continued to blow away skeleton buzzards as they finally ran to the final door. Yuna ran through the door first, then suddenly the spears shot up.
     "Ha! Sucker!" Rikku yelled at Rufus, who was outside the gate.
     "Rikku!" Yuna yelled. "He helped m-"
     "Just go!" Rikku yelled at Yuna.
     "Sorry," Yuna yelled as Rikku pulled her out the door.
     Shinra stepped on the tile and the spears lowered again. Rufus entered the room and received the clue from the Amazing Final Fantasy Race Ninja.
     "Okay, we'd better haul ass," Rufus told Shinra. "I might've broken a rule back there, so we might have to beat those girls to the pitstop."
     "Then we're screwed," Shinra said. "But let's try. I'll get my jog on."
     "Get your jog on?" Rufus asked. "Please never say that again."
     Rufus and Shinra started to leave, when suddenly Rikku and Yuna ran back into the room.
     "We forgot our clue!" Rikku yelled.
     Rufus and Shinra didn't say anything, but both ran as quickly as Shinra could to the pitstop.
     Yuna and Rikku got their clue from the Amazing Final Fantasy Race Ninja and raced out the door and toward Horace's camp.

     Auron and Jecht ran to the mat and bent over to pant.
     "We're too old for this shit," Auron said.
     "Auron and Jecht," Gippal said, "you're team number four!"
     "Heck yeah," Jecht said. "But from now on, it's first or nothing!"
     "I agree," Auron said.

     "Maybe throw it lighter?" Edgar suggested to Sabin. He looked down at the stack of spears, which was now down to a stack of five.
     "Bro, shut it," Sabin said. He held the spear and threw it again at the control. It skimmed the top, but didn't activate the controls. "Dammit! I hit it!"
     "Maybe throw it harder?" Edgar suggested.
     "Bro, seriously, you're not helping," Sabin said. He grabbed the next spear and threw it as hard as he could. It missed the target and buried itself in the wall behind it.
     Edgar picked up a spear and threw it himself. It wobbled and eventually just plummeted down the gorge.
     "This sucks!" Sabin yelled as he grabbed another spear and threw it at the controls. It connected and completely knocked the controls over. The bridge did not extend, but the Amazing Final Fantasy Race Ninja jumped across the gorge and handed them a clue.
     "Through no fault of your own the devise has broken, and you will not be penalized," the Amazing Final Fantasy Ninja explained. 
     "Well it actually is my fa-"
     "Quiet, Sabin," Edgar said. He opened the clue. "Pitstop at Horace's camp. Last one is eliminated. Let's go."
     Edgar and Sabin ran out to find Horace's camp.

     Gippal looked out with Evil Robot Horace and watched the next team run to the mat.
     "Yuna and Rikku," Gippal said, "you're team number five!"
     "Hooray!" Yuna and Rikku cheered. They hugged for a second, then Yuna pulled Rikku away from her and faced Gippal.
     "Wait, no penalty?" Yuna asked.
     "Those skeleton buzzards weren't meant to be there," Gippal explained. "Therefore they weren't associated with the detour."
     "Good to know," Rufus said as he and Shinra walked to the mat. Yuna and Rikku moved aside to let the two on the mat.
     "Shinra and Rufus," Gippal said, "you're team number six."

     The sky darkened as Edgar and Sabin ran up to the mat.
     "Edgar and Sabin," Gippal said, "you're the last team to arrive. I'm sorry to tell you you've both been eliminated from the race."
     "You know," Sabin said to Gippal, "it's a lot harder to hit a target than it seems. Can't just use brute strength I guess." He looked at Edgar. "Sorry, Bro."
     "Sorry?" Edgar asked Sabin. "What's there to be sorry about? If it weren't for you we'd still be back there throwing spears!"
     "But you were saying-"
     "I was just trying to motivate you," Edgar explained. "I know how you work better under pressure. Don't worry. There's nobody else I would've wanted on my team. Bro." Edgar punched Sabin in the side playfully.
     "Ha! Thanks, Bro," Sabin said. He punched Edgar back. Edgar punched Sabin, then Sabin punched Edgar, until it finally evolved into a giant brawl between brothers.
     Gippal looked at Evil Robot Horace. "I'm gonna get some coffee. This is getting pretty gay."
     "Coffee stains clothes! Be careful!" Evil Robot Horace explained to Gippal.