Episode 6: Part 1

<Raijin & Fujin: Friends, 1st to depart: 2:28 am>
     Raijin tore open the clue as both he and Fujin put on headbands with a light attached. "Make your way to Podunk, U.S.A.," Raijin read.

<Announcer Gippal>
     "Teams must now make their way to the city that created the kingdom of Evermore: Podunk, U.S.A. The twist, however, is that not many people know what a Podunk is, so teams must search long and hard to figure out how to get to Podunk. The one way out of the city is through a floating spacestation known as Omnitopia."

     Fujin and Raijin started walking. Neither was exactly sure where they were going, so they decided to follow the dried up river. They walked for a while in silence as they tried to follow the small spot of light from the lights on their heads.
     "LOST," Fujin announced as they found themselves at the end of the riverbed. They could hear loud sounds like a waterfall nearby.
     "We should probably turn back, ya know?" Raijin suggested. He started to head back when his foot suddenly slipped on a very wet rock. He went tumbling over the side of a cliff and landed in a river with an extremely strong current. He was quickly swept away and found himself washed up in some really dark cave. Even with the light on his head he could only see a small area around him.
     "TOOL," Fujin yelled as she jumped down after him and found herself in the same cave.
     "Well, let's start lookin' for an exit, ya know?" Raijin said. They started traveling through the darkened caverns. There were odd creatures running around lugging spears and wearing dark cloaks. In the distance all that could be seen was their eyes.

<Amarant & Lani: Coworkers, 2nd to depart: 2:33 am>
     "The hell?" Lani said. She turned the clue upside-down and tried looking again. "This thing doesn't say where to go. Where the hell is a Podunk? And how do we get there?"
     Amarant stood and looked around.
     "Flamer! Do your thing, bitch!"
     "What thing?"
     "Whenever I get all pissed off and don't know what to do, you just walk off and find where we need to go. Nooooooow," she thrust her arm out and pointed in a random direction, "do it!"
     "Fine," Amarant said. He picked a direction at random and started walking. He grabbed Lani's head and started dragging her with him.
     "Ack! Red! You faggot! Let go!"

<Steiner & Beatrix: Dating, 3rd to depart: 2:36 am>
     "Podunk Oosa?" Steiner read.
     Beatrix looked over his shoulder. "Those are initials. Podunk U.S.A."
     "Ha! I knew that, I was only kidding! Only an idiot would not notice such obvious abbreviations! I knew-"
     "Come on, idiot," Beatrix teased.
     "But I knew they were! Ha! It was a joke. Do you get it?"

<Auron & Jecht: Grizzled Old Guys, 4th to depart: 2:58 am>
     "Go to Podunk," Auron read. "Let's go."
     "Go where?" Jecht asked. He crossed his arms. "Do we have to fly there? Is it in walking distance? Be more specific already."
     "The clue doesn't say."
     "Crap. Now we're gonna have to ask people. And being nice isn't my forte."
     Auron smirked. "That's okay. You haven't been useful this entire race. Why start now?"
     "I'm gonna whoop your ass one of these days," Jecht said.

<Rikku & Yuna: Cousins, 5th to depart: 3:45 am>
     "This clue is pretty vague," Yuna said. "We have to go to Podunk U.S.A., but it doesn't say where that is."
     "This means one thing," Rikku said, fading off at the end. She looked up at Yuna.
     "Pete!" Rikku yelled.
     "Sex!" Yuna yelled at the same time. She looked at Rikku with a very red face. "I- I mean, Pete! Yeah!" Rikku started to run off, but Yuna grabbed her shoulder. "Wait, Rikku! I kinda formed an alliance with the Shinras. Let's wait for them. We'll team up and pass all the other teams."
     Rikku bit her lip. "Y-yeah. Good idea."

<Shinra & Rufus: Father/Son, 6th to depart: 3:47 am>
     "Alliance, eh?" Shinra said to Rufus.
     "Yeah." Rufus said dully. He opened the clue. "Go to Podunk U.S.A. Sounds boring."
     "Why are we forming alliances? Didn't we decide we wouldn't form any alliances on this trip?"
     "No. I mostly plan to get into an alliance just to have somebody to talk to. You're boring. Besides. They're hot. Both of them."
     "Well at least that much is true," Shinra said, punching Rufus in the arm. "You know, your old man would've had both of them in bed back in the day. I was quite the lady killer at your age."
     "Thanks. And now you're the hard-on killer. That'll probably keep me impotent for a few months."
     "That's the spirit!" Shinra said. He threw his arm around Rufus and pulled him in for a half-hug. "We've got no time for that anyway! It's a race!"

<Amarant & Lani: Coworkers>
     Lani and Amarant ran around a plateau with two caves and a single dead tree.  Lani headed to the farthest cave and waved Amarant over.
     "Red! Let's go!" Lani yelled as she entered the cave.
     Upon entering the cave, Lani came face to face with a very strange looking man. He was practically naked except for the leaf loincloth he wore. He carried a large fish skeleton with him and looked like he hadn't ever put the damn thing down. With his scruffy hair and unkempt look, he seemed to be some sort of caveman.
     "You!" Lani yelled, pointing at the man.
     "Howdy folks!" the scruffy man said enthusiastically. "How can I help you today?"
     "We need to get to Podunk!" Lani yelled. "Where is it!?"
     "Podu- Oh! I remember a young boy years ago looking for the same place! I'm not sure if he ever found it, but he would occasionally show up at a place just south of here. There's a giant firepit that he would often come by. Maybe he can give you a lift or something. Now, straight to business. Would you like to purchase ingredients? Mud peppers are on sale!" He looked around the room. Lani and Amarant had left already. 
     Lani and Amarant ran south through the other cave. They came out by the shores below and ran along the beach until they came across a firepit. It was lit. There was a sign written in red and yellow.
     "Hours of Operation: 6:00 am to 8:00 pm," Lani read. "Looks like we're waiting."
     Amarant walked to the firepit and took a seat beside it. He immediately fell asleep.

<Steiner & Beatrix: Dating>
     Steiner and Beatrix started walking around the pirate town of Crustacia as they headed for the firepit they'd learned about earlier from a shady pirate. Steiner stopped Beatrix and pointed to two figures that were coming down a staircase and headed in their direction. The two were Auron and Jecht.
     "Beatrix! Those two are following us! I can tell!" Steiner said.
     "They've only been here like, five seconds, and you're already sure they're following us?" Beatrix responded quietly.
     "I don't trust them! They personally eliminated almost half of the teams that've been cut so far! And they almost cut the two girls who got very lucky that there was a catch-up roadblock that one time!"
     Beatrix stopped to think. She then smiled in a sinister way that Steiner hadn't seen since back when Beatrix was still siding with Brahne. "Let's team up with them."
     "WHAT!?" Steiner yelled. "Preposterous! No way I would ever-"
     Beatrix covered Steiner's mouth. "Hey, you said it yourself! They're following us. So here's what we do. We tell them where the firepit is. We help them occasionally, but once we get to the critical parts of the leg, we lead them in the wrong direction, and bam! They're eliminated."
     "That could be a horrible mistake," Steiner said. "But let's do it."
     Beatrix waved to Auron and Jecht. "Hey guys! Come here a minute."

     Auron and Jecht looked at each other for a second.
     "Is she talking to us?" Auron asked Jecht.
     "Well duh! She's only had the hots for me since this thing started," Jecht said.
     Auron and Jecht walked over to Steiner and Beatrix to see what all the commotion was about.
     "What's up, babe?" Jecht asked.
     "We have a proposal," Beatrix said. "See, I heard that Yuna and Rikku are teaming up with Shinra and Rufus, and I don't really trust any of the other teams, but you two seem well, not so much trustworthy, but decent enough of racers. How about making an information sharing alliance? We'll take out the weak teams, then once it gets down to all the good teams, we'll split the alliance."
     Jecht crossed his arms. "Do you have information already?"
     "We do."
     "Do we?" Auron asked.
     "Not directly," Beatrix responded. "We know where to go right now, and you two know how to get rid of Yuna and Rikku. And after that we'll have no problem taking out Shinra and Rufus. So we basically need you two to help us trim the fat so to speak."
     "Whatcha think, Auron?" Jecht asked.
     "Sounds fine. Let's just go."
     Beatrix and Steiner nodded and led the way to the firepit.

<Rikku & Yuna: Cousins>
<Shinra & Rufus: Father/Son>
     Yuna and Rikku led Rufus and Shinra into the pirate town of Crustacia and straight to what looked like a residential house. It was locked and looked very uninviting, but Yuna walked to the door and knocked loudly. Within a few seconds they could all hear someone complaining very loudly inside and taking very hard, loud steps to the door. The door burst open as a large pirate man stuck his head out. "Who the fu- Girls!"
     "Pete!" Yuna and Rikku yelled enthusiastically.
     "So Pete," Rikku said as she nudged Pete in the ribs. "Did you hear about the new pirate movie?"
     "N-No, can't say I have," Pete said as he scratched his head. "What about it?"
     "It was rated Arrrrrrrrrrrr!"
     "Har har har!" Pete laughed. "So what can I help you girls with?"
     "We're looking for Podunk!" Yuna said. "Can you tell us where that is?"
     "Podunk? I don't have the slightest. But I'll take ya someplace that'll tell ya where it be." Pete led the girls and the Shinras (whom he hadn't noticed were following him) out of Crustacia and over to the nearby firepit. "There ya go."
     "Thanks Pete!" Yuna and Rikku yelled.
     "Looks like we're at a catch up point again," Lani said to Amarant. She had forgotten that he was asleep. "I just hope one of the other teams doesn't make it."

<Raijin & Fujin: Friends>
     "Where the hell are we?" Raijin asked as he and Fujin continued to run through the dark caves. Occasionally they found weird teleporters that took them to different parts of the cave.
     "LOST," Fujin responded.
     Raijin pointed to a small patch of land on the other side of a stream that ran through the cave. "Hey, we haven't been over there, ya know."
     Raijin and Fujin slid into the water that came up to their waists and trudged across. They reached the other side and followed the tunnel for a bit, only to find a dead end. There was a giant room with an odd grate as flooring. They started to inspect the room for any possible secret exits, but they basically figured they were boned.
     "I think we're boned, ya know?" Raijin stated.
     "LOOK," Fujin said. She pointed to a basket with a rope attached to it. The rope led upward and with all the darkness, it was hard to tell where it went. Still, Fujin stepped into the basket and tugged on the rope. It didn't do anything. She looked at Raijin and shrugged. Raijin shrugged back. Then suddenly, the basket started moving upward with Fujin in it.
     A few minutes later, the basket was lowered for Raijin and the cameraman. They were also pulled up and found Fujin at the top next to a man dressed in odd purple armor standing by a crank to the well they'd just come from. He released the crank and the basket fell back down into the caves.
     "OMNITOPIA," Fujin demanded of their rescuer.
     "Omnitopia?" the guard said. "Well, I just work this well. Life's a drag, but I get by. Anyway, you can probably find out about something like that from Tinker. He's over in his tower. Just take a right up here, cross the chessboard maze, which isn't a very hard maze, go across the drawbridge, and you're there."
     Fujin and Raijin set off to find Tinker's Tower and discovered it was not a long trek. The hedge maze surrounding a giant chessboard was the easiest maze to navigate, which could be partially because the hedges were so low that they could jump over them all. After only a short time, they found themselves in a very dirty castle. There were rock piles all over the place, splintering doors, and mice everywhere. It would've been creepy if they weren't already in a big hurry.
     "Where the hell is it?" Raijin asked Fujin.
     "FLAG," Fujin pointed at an arch that had an Amazing Race flag above it.
     "Oh sweet, we're goin' the right way, ya know?"
     Fujin and Raijin ran through the arch and up a large spiraling staircase and finally found a science lab with the door unlocked. Fujin ran inside first and Raijin followed. Inside was a very creepy looking scientist with bright red hair.
     "Oh. Hi, visitors," he said. "I'm Tinker Tinderbox. How can I help you?"
     "OMNITOPIA," Fujin blurted out.
     "Oh, I see. You're on my first flight to Omnitopia. It leaves in five minutes at 6:00 am. If you'd like to head outside I'll send you up there."
     "TEAMS."
     "Yeah, have any other teams come through here yet?" Raijin asked.
     "No, I'm afraid not. In fact, I'm not sure how you made it here. Most people wait at the firepit to get here, but that won't open for another five minutes. In fact, I'm going to be late if I don't hurry. So let's get you two up there."

(6:00 am Flight)
     Fujin and Raijin followed Tinker outside and over to a small tower with a rocketship inside.
     "Step inside please," Tinker said.
     Fujin and Raijin hopped inside and waited as Tinker closed the hatch and pushed the ignition. Fujin and Raijin high-fived as they took off into the air. The ship went straight into a large spacestation in the sky. It landed in a strange structure and the hatch opened.
     Raijin was first out and quickly found a hatch in the ground that acted as a small elevator. Fujin joined him on the elevator and they found an old scientist man standing near an odd control panel.
     "PODUNK," Fujin said.
     "Good evening. Podunk bound I see?" the scientist said. "I'm Professor Ruffleberg. I built Eve-"
     "PODUNK!" Fujin repeated.
     "Yeah, we don't give a damn, ya know?" Raijin added. "We're in a race and we need to get to Podunk asap."
     "I see," Ruffleberg said. "Well, follow me then! No more delays!"
     Ruffleberg led them to a platform with an odd structure above it. It looked like a metallic octopus almost. He walked to the control panel and flipped a switch, at which point several beams shot out and hit Fujin and Raijin like a bolt of lightning, and suddenly they were gone.
     Fujin and Raijin suddenly found themselves standing in front of an old theater playing the movie "The Secret of Evermore." Outside the ticket taker's booth was a clue box. Raijin ran to it and grabbed a clue.
     "All the clues are still here, ya know?" Raijin said.
     "FIRST," Fujin added.
     Raijin read the clue. "Make your way to New York City, New York."

<Announcer Gippal>
     "Teams must now fly to the city of New York. The normally crowded city has recently had an attack by a strange creature attacking biological functions of people and animals, so the residents of the city are all either evacuated or liquefied. Thanks to a local police woman, the city has been saved and should be safe, so teams will have an easy time navigating the city, although they won't have many people to give them directions."

     "Let's hurry, ya know?" Raijin said.
     Fujin walked up to the man working the movie theater. "AIRPORT," she demanded.
     "Podunk International is just west of here. You can probably walk it if you're quick enough," the man responded.
     Fujin and Raijin both waved to the theater employee and ran west.

     Tinker landed the flying device by the firepit with the the rest of the teams. It wasn't a very stable looking device and it looked like something from the Flintstones, but it flew nonetheless and held all the teams.
     "It's about time!" Lani yelled at Tinker.
     "I apologize for being late, but two other people heading for Omnitopia delayed me slightly," Tinker said.
     "You've gotta be kiddin'," Jecht said. "The black dude and the loud bitch are ahead of us? Well fly faster, whore!"
     Tinker flew the flying device off to his tower and landed it on the rooftop. The teams raced to the shuttle, only to find that it wouldn't leave until 7:00 am.

     "Four tickets, sir," Shinra said to Tinker. Tinker handed Shinra four tickets. Shinra immediately turned and handed the tickets out to Rufus, Yuna, and Rikku. He kept the last one for himself.
     "Shit, we need tickets!?" Jecht yelled. By the time he realized they needed tickets, he and Auron were the last ones to line up.

     "Four tickets please," Steiner said to Tinker.
     "I'm sorry, the shuttle can only carry four at a time, so your four tickets will have to be on the 8:00 flight."
     "Oh. I see. Very well then." Steiner received his tickets and walked back to Auron and Jecht. He handed them two tickets.
     "You owe us," Beatrix said.
     "Babe, for this, we'll give you anything," Jecht said.

     "Two tickets," Amarant demanded of Tinker.
     "You'll be on the 9:00 flight."
     "Dammit!" Lani yelled. "Those Alexandrian assholes bought up our tickets and gave them away to the old guys! This means war."

     Raijin and Fujin both stood at a ticket counter inside the Podunk International Airport. A young man with slick black hair and a goatee stood behind the counter and continued to tap keys on his computer.
     "I'm sorry, the next flight to New York won't leave until 11:00 am," he said.
     "EARLIER," Fujin demanded.
     Raijin tried to contain his laughter, but knowing he would fail, he ducked behind the counter and beckoned for the camera. "She's the best ticket negotiator you've ever seen, ya know? Check her out. Five hundred gil says she gets a better flight."
     "I'm sorry, we have a 9:00 am flight, but it's full," the man said.
     "NO," Fujin responded.
     "I'm sorry."
     "NO."
     "We have some business class seats available."
     "ECONOMY," Fujin responded, since the rules do not allow teams to buy business class seats.
     "I could put you on standby, but-"
     "NO." Fujin glared at the man and slammed a fist down on the counter.
     The man quickly typed a few things into the computer. "Oh, what do you know. I accidentally moved two people from economy to business and thereby freed up some economy seats."

(7:00 am Flight)
     Yuna and Rikku were the first out of the shuttle and down to Ruffleberg's lab. Rufus followed shortly after, followed in the distance by Shinra.
     "More visitors!" Ruffleberg said happily. "Welcome to my lab!"
     "Cram it," Rufus said. "We've gotta get to Podunk, fast!"
     Ruffleberg sighed. "Okay. Stand on the platform."
     The four were teleported to the same theater in Podunk and retrieved their clues.
     "New York baby!" Yuna read happily.
     "What's a New York?" Rikku asked.
     "I dunno. I just have a good feeling about this."
     "We're gonna need a good flight to catch up," Rufus said. "And I have an idea. That is, if you girls are up for it."