Episode 7: Early Show

INT. STUDIO

Baralai sat in his chair across from Raijin and Fujin. The camera observed Fujin's leg which had a knee brace on it and her pants leg rolled up.

BARALAI: Well happy day and welcome. We're here with this week's castoff's from The Amazing Final Fantasy Race, please welcome to the show Raijin and Fujin.

FUJIN: THANKS.

RAIJIN: It's great to be here, ya know? Of course, we didn't wanna be here this early, ya know?

BARALAI: I understand that. You took a pretty hard loss out there. Any comments about that?

FUJIN: NO.

RAIJIN: She's a bit bitter about the loss, ya know? She blames herself.

FUJIN: WHAT?

RAIJIN: I told you before, it's not your fault, ya know? Things happen and your leg went out on you. It happens and we couldn't have gone on anyway wi-

FUJIN: THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I blame YOU! What idiot tried to help Jecht instead of letting him fall off the friggin vine by his friggin self!? THEN what idiot was it that couldn't get to the top of those rocks fast enough to jump onto the platform with Yuna and Rikku!?

BARALAI: Yeah, what was up with that?

FUJIN: Shut it, Baralai! I'm talking here!

BARALAI: I noticed- Err, I mean, yes, ma'am.

FUJIN: I told you in private before that leg even started that we needed to do well this leg because those teams would hate us for stealing first place the leg before! But Noooo, let's save Jecht from falling and try to beat them in a footrace!

RAIJIN: I saved Jecht because they saved us from elimination a couple legs before. It was to repay them for that, ya know?

FUJIN: There's no such THING as repayment in a race! They kept us in and they were STUPID for doing that! But you had to go and be STUPIDER!

BARALAI: I'm gonna go get a soda.

RAIJIN: I thought maybe we'd get karma workin' on our side for once, ya know? Besides, it was instinct! I didn't notice there was water below us. I thought he might get hurt, ya know?

FUJIN: And if there was a giant BLENDER beneath us you'd be dead along WITH him. How bloody romantic!

RAIJIN: Hey, that dude behind the camera is giving us the cutting off his neck sign. Where the heck is Baralai?

FUJIN: SODA.

RAIJIN: Oh. Well is it over?

NOOJ (O.S.): Yeah, it's been over. I think they went to a news segment or something.

RAIJIN: So what was with the wrap it up sign?

NOOJ (O.S.): Oh. I was just hoping she'd strangle you by now.

FUJIN: BRILLIANT!