Episode 10: Part 2

<Amarant & Lani: Coworkers, Currently in Last>
     "I don't think there are anymore chocographs," Lani said as her chocobo coughed up another bundle of gil.
     The chocobo continued to run around and dig up useless items. Amarant continued to sleep except for a short break to buy and study a map given to him by the moogle.
     "GOT IT!" Lani yelled as she rode her chocobo to the moogle. "Suck on that!"
     "That's a chocograph, yes," the moogle said. "It's the wrong chocograph though. That's weird."
     "You really want a boot up your ass, don't you?" Lani asked the moogle.
     The moogle handed Lani the next clue along with a different chocograph. "Use that one," the moogle said.
     Before Lani could do anything, Amarant hopped onto the back of the chocobo and led the chocobo down to the planet.
     "I didn't even open the clue yet!" Lani yelled. She ripped at the clue and yanked out the clue before silently reading it to herself. "Okay, fine, now I know where we need to go. Does this place look familiar to you, Red?"
     Lani showed Amarant the chocograph piece and looked on along with him.
     "The ice caverns on the Mist Continent are in the background," Amarant said. "I've never been there, but I hear it's not far outside Dali. I've never been to Dali either, but I know where it is."
     "Fine, you take the reins then," Lani said. She tried sliding back for Amarant to slide closer to the chocobo's head, but maneuvering another person while on a moving chocobo quickly turned into a highly difficult task. Lani finally began to crawl on top of Amarant and slide in behind him, only to lose her grip and slide down Amarant's back, collide with the chocobo's backside, and slip and fall onto the ground.
     Amarant quickly took the reins and led the chocobo back to pick her up. "By the way," he said to Lani as she dusted herself up, "I think we're on the Outer Continent. We need to go very south across the ocean."
     "Good thing our chocobo runs across oceans then," Lani said as she took Amarant's outstretched hand and climbed on the back of the chocobo. "I'm glad you're big, Red. Less wind in my face and bugs in my teeth."
     "Disgusting," Amarant said as he prompted the chocobo to run south.

<Rikku & Yuna: Cousins, Currently in 1st>
     The rat-man rode on the front of the chocobo and guided it over the mountains and up the giant cliffside to Dali.
     "This gold chocobo is fun to drive," the rat-man said. "This is my first time seeing one, let alone riding one."
     "He's so nice," Yuna said.
     "And such a good boy!" Rikku added.
     The chocobo rode up to the edge of the ice cavern and stopped. Yuna and Rikku looked around, then Yuna reached into her top and pulled the clue back out.
     "We dig again then?" Yuna asked.
     "Think so!" Rikku said. "Dig, boy! Dig!"
     Yuna tapped lightly on the side of the chocobo, which immediately began searching for buried treasure. It pecked the ground and let out a quiet kweh. It pecked again in a spot slightly further, then let out a loud KWEHHHH and began frantically digging. The chocobo proudly and violently ripped a treasure box from the earth and slapped it down for Yuna and Rikku. Before either of them could leap off the chocobo to retrieve it, the chocobo kicked the box open and pulled out the contents of the box. It was only a strip of paper with text on it.
     Yuna took the paper and read it. "Make your way to Dali and find the next clue in the mayor's house. Warning: Don't wake the sleeping boy."

<Announcer Gippal>
     "Teams must now make their way to Dali, only a short distance from their location and find the mayor's house. Inside will be the clue box and their next clue, but teams must sneak into the house quietly. The mayor's son is resting on the couch, and should they wake him, they will be forced to leave and try again. He is narcoleptic though, so he will be asleep again shortly after when they can try again.

     "I'm an expert bandit," Rikku said. "This should be easy. This one time a bunch of us Al Bheds were playing Ballkrieg and we were so quiet that we didn't wake my dad at all. And he's a man you do not want to wake. Trust me."
     "Ballkrieg?" the rat-man asked.
     "It's.... complicated," Rikku said. "Think of it as a game where you chuck a ball at each other until you lose consciousness and the last one conscious wins. And we did that without waking up Daddy Cid!"
     "I see," the rat-man said as he and the girls mounted their chocobo, despite being within walking distance of Dali. Yuna immediately led the chocobo in the wrong direction, but the rat-man turned them around and pointed them to Dali. The chocobo galloped ahead and stopped just outside the city entrance.
     Yuna hopped off the chocobo first, followed by Rikku.
     "Wait here for us, okay? We'll need your help later too," Yuna said to the rat-man.
     "Will do," the rat-man said.
     Rikku and Yuna ran into the city and walked into the first shop on their left. Rikku ran to the desk.
     "Quick, which way to the mayor's office?" she yelled politely, yet urgently to the store clerk.
     "Out of here to the left, then first door on the left," the lady behind the counter said. "But won't you please look around first a-" she looked up where Rikku and Yuna previously stood, only to see a store populated by the same old man in the corner. "Dammit!"
     Rikku slowly creaked the door to the mayor's house open and peeked inside. The room was circular with a lowered area to the right. It held a couch, which was occupied by a sleeping boy. On the left was a dresser and directly ahead was a clue box.
     "Shh," Rikku said to Yuna. In the background, the mayor's son stirred slightly. Rikku quickly and quietly closed the door. "Oh Em Gee! Even that will make him all wakey-upy?"
     "Let's just be very very quiet then," Yuna stated the obvious.
     "Good idea!"
     Rikku opened the door slowly again and slid inside. Yuna creaked the door open slightly further and slid in behind her. Both tiptoed like eighties cartoon characters and approached the clue box. Rikku lifted the lid of the clue box when suddenly the wind caught the still opened front door and slammed it shut.
     "Yipes!" Rikku shouted as she yanked a clue out of the box and held it behind her back.
     The sleeping son of the mayor sat up quickly and looked at the two girls. "Oh my goodness, can I help you two ladies?"
     "We were uhh, just looking for the little girls' room! Yeah, that's it!" Rikku said nervously.
     "You two are racers," the mayor's son said. "You two need to leave now and don't touch anything more. You can try again later."
     "But we-" Yuna started, when Rikku elbowed her in the ribs.
     "Were just leaving. Sorry to wake you, dude," Rikku said as she walked sideways to keep her front always facing the mayor's son. He didn't mind the gesture, however, since he was already ogling them both. Yuna opened the door and the pair slipped out the door.
     "We got it!" Rikku shouted as she ripped open the clue. "Detour: Frogs or Duck."

<Announcer Gippal>
     "A detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In Frogs, teams must find Qu's Marsh and find the frog pond. Once there, teams will catch 15 frogs and hand them to the judge. The frogs are fast and difficult to catch, but teams with quick reflexes could finish in a short time. In Duck, teams must travel the world to find two hidden Stellazzio coins. To shorten their journey, a map is provided that marks the locations of nearby Stellazzio coins, though the map is not specific and only provides a world view. Once they have obtained the coins, they must present them to the coin-collecting duck-lady of Treno. The coins will be difficult to find, but with enough luck on their side, teams could finish quickly without tremendous reflexes."

<Rikku & Yuna: Cousins, Currently in 1st>
     "I'm thinking Frogs," Rikku said. "I'll bet I could catch tiny critters."
     "Okay!" Yuna said with a nod. "Let's go!"
     Yuna and Rikku ran to the city entrance, only to look out and see a wide open plain. They looked back to the cottage town of Dali, which aside from a couple children, was also barren.
     "Where's Mr. Rat?" Rikku asked.
     "He should be right here," Yuna said.
     Both girls sat and pondered for a few moments, until finally Yuna stomped her foot angrily. "He stole our mother$#*@ing chocobo!"
     Rikku cupped her hand over Yuna's mouth and forced her to sit down as Rikku sat beside her and leaned against a nearby building. She waited a few seconds to uncup Yuna's mouth, which was obviously still spewing obscenities.
     "What will we do?" Yuna asked calmly as she gently pulled Rikku's hand away from her face.

<Announcer Gippal>
     "If a vehicle or other form of transportation should breakdown or otherwise become unavailable, a second vehicle (or whatever) will be provided, though there will be no time credit given for this inconvenient situation."

<Shinra & Rufus: Father/Son, Currently in 2nd>
     Rufus and a barely conscious Shinra rode to the ice cavern entrance where an already opened treasure box sat unattended. Rufus instructed his chocobo to dig, which it quickly complied with. It dug until it pulled its own treasure box from the planet and gave its contents to Rufus.
     "Dali?" Rufus said aloud. He repeated the name a few times while he dug through the numerous pockets on his jacket and finally came across his map. He located Dali, then his own coordinates, then stared at the map with a confused look. He finally looked up and stared straight ahead, then turned his head seventy degrees to the left. "Oh. Dali."
     Rufus and Shinra strode into town on their gold chocobo and dismounted by Yuna and Rikku.
     "Ladies?" Rufus asked them. "Something wrong?"
     "We had a guide that ran off with our chocobo," Yuna explained.
     "I see," Rufus said. "They're really rare. He'll probably try to sell it and make a fortune. Hopefully he'll sell it to a chocobo collector and not some fast food chain." Rufus gave Shinra an angry glance.
     "Come on come on," Shinra waved for Rufus to follow him. Shinra pinched his temples from his horrible headache. "Sorry about your problem, ladies, but unfortunately this is a race, and we must take advantage of your disadvantage." Shinra walked away and waited by the door to the mayor's house. He tapped his foot loudly while waiting for Rufus.
     "He's right, you know," Rufus said to Yuna and Rikku. "While this is bad for you, it's good for us. Don't fall behind too much though. If it becomes a footrace for the finish line, I'd much rather run alongside you two than just about anybody else there. Hell, I'd rather have you than him," Rufus gestured to Shinra, "but unfortunately that would mean losing. Good luck, ladies. Second place is still a trophy in itself, and nobody beats a Shinra."
     Rufus ran to Shinra and waited for him to open the door. The two slipped inside and maneuvered themselves to the clue box. Rufus pulled a clue out and the Shinras quietly left the building.
     "Frogs or Duck," Shinra read. "Both are good, but-"
     "You fat bastard," Rufus said. "They're not both good because they're both tasks. You're once again interpreting everything as food. We're doing Duck because there's no way you'll be able to catch anything that doesn't get sucked into your fat rolls by itself or caught in your gravitational field. And there's no way I'm catching that many frogs myself. Let's Duck."
     Shinra and Rufus looked over the map. Neither spoke. Both simply ran their fingers across the map to possible choices.
     Rufus finally broke the silence. "There's one in Dali here, but there's also two in Treno. We're the first team for sure, so all should be up for grabs. Let's go for the two in Treno and not waste more time here."
     "You're going to do it, aren't you?" Shinra said. He sighed and shook his head. "If your erection loses this race for us, I'm going to send you back to live with your mother." Shinra walked off to the gold chocobo and mounted it cautiously.
     "I already do live with her!" Rufus yelled after him, but he was already out of earshot. As anticipated by Shinra, Rufus walked first to Yuna and Rikku. "What detour are you choosing?"
     "Frogs," Yuna said. "We're fast and-"
     "Switch," Rufus ordered her. "There's a coin somewhere here in Dali. Find it while you're waiting. Then you'll only need one more coin. There's a place called Quan's Dwelling, which should have a coin and is near Treno. As long as Lani and Amarant don't get to it first, it should be easy."
     Without waiting for a reply, Rufus sprinted over to Shinra and hopped onto his chocobo in one swift motion. The two Shinras rode off in the direction of Treno while the girls watched and thought.

     "Let's do it," Yuna said to Rikku.
     "Yes. Hurry, search!"
     Yuna and Rikku split up and began searching the town. They searched in and out of building and under rocks and children hoping that the coin would be shiny enough to catch their attention. Yuna searched the front of the town where Rufus and Shinra had just departed while Rikku dove into several houses.
     Rikku finally found herself in a strange tower with a rotating column in the middle and an attic from which sand occasionally poured down in a waterfall of sand. She was about to leave, when a shiny object in the corner caught her eye. She saw the path was blocked by the sandfall, but still took a diving leap through the sand and came out the other side. She grabbed the coin from a table in the back and pocketed it.
     "Found it!" Rikku shouted as she ran to Yuna.
     "Y-you did?" Yuna asked.
     "Yep, see?" Rikku held out the coin.
     "But I-" Yuna held up another coin, similar in size and type, but with a different symbol engraved on it. "It was holding down this note from the rat-man. The note said:
Sorry, ladies, but while traveling the world with adorable human women is nice, living the life of luxury with my own gold chocobo was too good to pass up. I hope you won't hold this against me."
     "Is this the coin from," Rikku held up the map. "Boor-Me-See-Uh?"
     "I believe it is," Yuna said.
     Both stood completely still, then suddenly leapt at each other, hugging each other and dancing around singing 'We're already done with our detour! We're already done with our detour!'

<Amarant & Lani: Coworkers, Currently in Last>
     Lani and Amarant reached the ice cavern and grabbed the treasure their chocobo had overturned.
     "Dali," Amarant said as he pocketed the clue and hopped back onto the chocobo with Lani. They immediately darted off to Dali.
     Once at Dali, the pair quickly ran to the mayor's door and snuck inside. Amarant began quietly creeping up on the clue box, while Lani crept toward the mayor's son. She looked at Amarant, then looked for approval for a plan as she made a choking motion above the mayor's son's head. Amarant shook his head and Lani stopped. She instead held the door open for him and the two jumped outside.
     "Detour," Lani read. "I say Duck. I've seen some of those coins."
     "No," Amarant said.
     "Yes I have! They're shiny and metallic, and one of them has a 69 symbol on it!"
     "No, we're not doing that one. We're doing Frogs."
     "Oh sure, just do the opposite of everything I wanna do!"
     "The other two teams are ahead of us, and if either team has found any coins, then it's likely that all of the nearby coins are taken, and we don't want to find coins that aren't there anymore. The only thing left to do is Frogs, so we're going to Qu's Marsh."
     Lani stood dumbfounded for a few seconds before finally following Amarant to the chocobo. "You're still dumb!"

<Shinra & Rufus: Father/Son, Currently in 1st>
     Shinra and Rufus dismounted their chocobo and walked through the iron gates of Treno. The city of never-ending nighttime was as busy as every night with upper-class people talking in loud, boisterous voices. At the entrance to the city there was a large fountain and a few stone pathways leading around the town. Some areas were more developed than others and one area to the right stood out as being lower income as a wooden ladder extended down from the stone bridge passing over a slums populated by merchants selling their most precious valuables to provide for their family.
     "Let's start looking," Shinra said. "I'll discuss things with these fine gentlemen and- well, these gentlemen. Women never have important information."
     "Classy," Rufus said, rolling his eyes.
     Rufus first walked up to a woman who veiled her face behind a strange mask on a stick. Her body was stunningly beautiful, but at one glance of the elephant's trunk protruding from beneath the mask, Rufus was able to compose himself.
     "Beg your pardon, hideous woman," he said. "I'm looking for a coin. Either the Taurus or the Gemini. Any clues you could give me to its whereabouts?"
     "Me?" the elephant-woman said. "I'm a woman if you could not tell. I have no important information whatsoever."
     Rufus glared over his shoulder at Shinra, who simply smiled at him and took a puff of his cigar.

<Rikku & Yuna: Cousins, Currently in Last>
     A man dressed strangely like Gippal rode in on a gold chocobo and dismounted in front of Yuna and Rikku. "Here's your replacement," he said to the girls.
     "Sweet!" Rikku shouted. She hopped onto the chocobo and pulled Yuna on as well. The two immediately rode off in the direction Rufus and Shinra had ridden off prior.
     "Good chocobo!" Yuna said. She reached out her hand to pet it, but it turned around and snapped at her fingers, missing only by an inch. "Oh! That's a bad chocobo!"
     "I miss our good chocobo already," Rikku said. "I hate this one."
     "Let's just be nice to it," Yuna said. "Maybe it will learn to love us with time."
     "Yeah, that's true. Besides, what kind of jerks would treat an animal poorly?"

<Amarant & Lani: Coworkers, Currently in 2nd>
     "This chocobo blows," Lani said. "It goes really slowly."
     "Maybe it wouldn't if you hadn't named it," Amarant suggested.
     "That's absurd. It loves its name, don't you Chocabitch?"
     The chocobo sighed and continued running to the west. They finally came across a strange swamp area surrounded by tall grass. Amarant and Lani, being somewhat familiar with the area, immediately leapt off Chocabitch and ran through the grass to the frog pond.  A strange light blue creature in robes watched over the two. It held a large fork and more importantly, an Amazing FF Race clue. It licked its lips with a tongue that could have easily licked behind his own head.
     "Quale watch you catch frogs now," the creature said.
     "Yeah yeah, we're on it," Lani said. She looked directly ahead of her as a frog stepped up to her foot and croaked. She smiled and pretended to look away, then pounced at the frog. The frog leapt between her legs and headed for the water. Lani regained her balance and chased the frog through the water as it hopped all around the pond and eventually under the small bridge that went across the pond.
     "You sure we can't just beat somebody up for their coins?" Lani said to Amarant.
     Amarant chased a frog and eventually slipped in some mud as the frog slipped away. "If only we wouldn't get penalized for poisoning this water."
     "I've got it!" Lani shouted. "Let's use teamwork! I'll chase this frog this way, then you get him when he jumps away from me!"
     Without waiting for confirmation, Lani set her plan into action and chased the frog through the pond. Amarant stood up and waited for the frog to come, only to see the frog jump to its left at the last possible moment, leaving an unstoppable Lani barreling headlong into Amarant.
     "We're screwed," Lani said.

     Rufus ran through Treno, leaving Shinra to speak with the townspeople. He crawled down the ladder into the slums where he was met with several offers of food, jewelry, virginity, and clothing.
     "I need a coin," Rufus shouted. "Two in fact. One with a Taurus symbol on it, and another with a Gemini on it. If you can give me one of these coins, I will give you one-hundred gil!"
     The people of the slums instantly began running around frantically to look for either of the two coins. Then a small tug at the back of his jacket caused him to turn and look down to the small child of seven years old. She wore rags and a single shoe. She held out a coin in her hands that had the Taurus symbol engraved on it.
     Rufus bent down to her level and took the coin. "Thank you, sweetie," Rufus said. He reached into his pocket for some gil, then handed it to the girl. The girl smiled and walked away, when Rufus finally ran after her. "I couldn't do it," he said, putting another twenty gil into her hand. "You'll learn to count soon. Trust me. And you know, you're lucky you're so cute. I may not have had this attack of conscience if you were an ugly bastard child.

     Yuna and Rikku ran to a small room by the waters in Treno and walked before a duck-woman on a throne. They kneeled before her and each held up one of the coins they had found.
     "Aries and Cancer?!" the duck-woman said. "Quack, quack. I must have them! Thank you, you may leave."
     A woman to the right of Yuna and Rikku walked forward and took the two coins from them, then put them into a steel cage beside the duck-woman. She handed Yuna the clue.
     "Thank you," Yuna said. She opened the clue and read aloud. "Make your way to the next pitstop at Lindblum Harbor. Warning: the last team to arrive will not be eliminated, but you still want to be first."

<Announcer Gippal>
     "Teams must now travel to the large city of Lindblum, specifically to the harbor area. Teams will not be allowed to use their gold chocobos any further and must figure out their own mode of transportation to reach Lindblum. The last team to check in here will not be eliminated, but there will be consequences nonetheless."

<Rikku & Yuna: Cousins, Currently in 1st>
     "We're so close!" Rikku squirmed with delight. "Let's find a way to Lindblum!"
     Yuna and Rikku ran outside and found a short man wearing a top hat and large glasses. He was a very short man with a very large nose.
     "Excuse us, we're in a huge hurry!" Yuna explained to him. "We need to get to Lindblum as quickly as possible!"
     "You're in luck!" the man said. "I believe a gargant will be at the station here in only a couple minutes. Quickly, follow me, strangers!"
     The man ran as quickly as he could, but unfortunately due to his stature, it wasn't very quickly at all. He led them into a tower and down a series of ladders into an underground room around a circular station. The platform was made of much cheaper stones than Treno and had a lever in the corner, which the man ran to. He yanked on a lever, which lowered a small plant-holding contraption from the ceiling. Before either of the girls could open their mouths, their jaws dropped at the sight of a large lizard-like bug holding onto a beam on the ceiling. A basket large enough to fit several people hung from his back as the upside-down creature ate the plant.
     "This gargant will take you to Pinnacle Rocks. Just get off their and it's only a short walk to Lindblum!"
     "Thank you, sir!" Yuna shouted to the man as both she and Rikku stepped into the large basket. "Can we pay you for your help?"
     "No charge, just glad to help," the man said. "If you ever need anything in Treno again, just ask for Doctor Tot!"
     "Yessir!" the girls said. Suddenly their basket rocked and started forward as the gargant began on its trail. The girls grabbed for the sides and decided it best to sit for the duration of their trip.

     "What'd you call this again?" Amarant said as he sat at one end of the pond, dipping his hands into the water.
     "The fishnet stockings frogtrap," Lani said, holding her hands in the opposite end of the pond. "I'm just proving to you that buying hooker leggings paid off. Now be quiet, number fifteen is getting close."
     The frogs all curiously entered the pond and watched Lani and Amarant, as if hoping they would lunge for them to make them hurt themselves further. The fifteenth frog hopped into the water, when suddenly Lani shouted 'Now!' and yanked a pair of fishnet stockings from the water. The stockings stretched all the way to Amarant's end of the pond where he also yanked out the stockings. The water drained from the stockings and they were left with a stocking full of fourteen frogs, with only one frog escaping the trap. Amarant held the stocking full of frogs while Lani approached the renegade frog.
     The frog seemed ready to jump away, but Lani suddenly stopped moving and just watched the frog. It curiously approached her and croaked, but instead of reaching for the frog like it had expected, she kicked the frog across the pond and into Amarant's outstretched hand.
     "Fifteen!" Lani shouted.
     Amarant walked the frogs to the creature and handed the stocking of fifteen frogs to him.
     "Thank you for give frogs," Quale said. He quickly stuck the entire stocking of frogs down his throat and swallowed. "Mmm, very thank you. Here clue."
     Amarant took the clue Quale offered him and read it to Lani. "Pitstop at Lindblum. Hurry."
     "Let's get directions and go," Lani said.
     "I don't need directions, I know this world," Amarant said, yanking Lani by the arm.
     "So do I but we still might need directions!" Lani argued senselessly, but nevertheless, she was being taken south by Amarant.

     Rufus ran through the city and finally came across Shinra, who was still talking to the city people.
     "These people are my type of people," Shinra said. "I could stay here forever."
     "No, you can't. We're in a race," Rufus reminded him pointlessly. "Now hurry, we still need another coin. I found the Taurus-"
     "Oh, then we're fine," Shinra said as he held out the Gemini coin. "It was in the fountain. So we can go?"
     "Yes, now move your fat ass!"
     Rufus and Shinra jogged to the duck-lady's building and entered with their coins.
     "Quack! Quack! It looks perfect!" the duck-lady said. "Give them their prize!"
     The assistant in the corner handed them a clue, which Rufus immediately opened. "Pitstop. Should we tell the girls- err, never mind. Let's go."
     "You're finally getting it," Shinra said.

     Yuna and Rikku's gargant stopped at Pinnacle Rocks and waited for the girls to get off, then began moving quickly in the direction it had just come. The girls stood among a beautiful cliffside covered in green grass and lush wildlife. A giant city in the distance caught their attention as the pair of girls quickly ran to it.

     "Dragon's Gate?" Lani asked as she stared at an indoor people-mover on a single track.
     "I don't think it costs money to use," Amarant said as he boarded. Lani hopped in as well.
     "Either way, we're taking it."
     The device pulled the two along the track and an alarmingly fast rate and at the end, it reached a station with yet another people-mover on a track.
     "That one goes directly to the harbor," Amarant said.
     "You sure know your stuff," Lani said as she boarded the second people-mover. Amarant hopped in as well and the device sped off to the harbor.

     Gippal stood by the finishing mat on a pier. A large blue boat was docked behind him and a regal looking man with a large mustache stood beside him. Gippal pointed at the approaching team, which sprinted to him and hopped on the mat.
     "Welcome -gwok- to Lindblum Castle's -ribbit- Harbor!" the regal man announced.
     "Yuna and Rikku," Gippal said. "You're the first team to race for the one million gil prize in the next leg!"
     "Oh wicked cool!" Rikku shouted.
     "I knew you two could do it," Gippal said. "Your prize for this leg will be announced shortly."
     "I uhh, okay," Rikku said. She and Yuna stepped off the mat.

     A gargant reached Pinnacle Rocks carrying Shinra and Rufus, who got out and quickly began trotting for Lindblum.
     "I really wish you were in better shape," Rufus said to Shinra.
     "We'll be fine," Shinra said as he continued his jog.

     Gippal looked at the team ahead of him carefully.
     "Amarant and Lani, you're the second team to race for the one million gil!"
     "All because of me!" Lani shouted.
     "Really?" Amarant asked.
     "Ye-" Lani started, then she looked to the man beside Gippal. "Excuse me, but those are my breasts, and I charge money for people to stare at them like you are."
     "Oh, I umm, I mean, I wasn't-" the man stuttered. He leaned to Gippal. "Is this televised?"
     "Yes, hence the cameras," Gippal said.
     "Oh I hope I don't turn into a mu this time."

     Shinra and Rufus panted -Shinra panting much harder- as they slowly stepped onto the mat and faced Gippal.
     "Shinra and Rufus," Gippal said. "You're the last team to arrive. You already knew this was a non-elimination leg, but-"
     "You're taking our stuff and our dignity?" Rufus said, taking his backpack off.
     "Worse," Gippal said. "You're the third team to be racing for the one million gil, but not like you are right now." Gippal looked to the left. "Will both of the other teams please come out now?"
     Yuna, Rikku, Lani, and Amarant all came out looking just as confused as the Shinras. They stood by their partners and lined up in front of Gippal. Then a group of fourteen other people crawled down a ladder leading to the ship behind them. These people lined up shoulder to shoulder behind Gippal, facing the three teams.
     "Racing for the million gil is going to be slightly more complicated than you had imagined," Gippal explained. "Each of your teams is exactly half of the team racing for the million. Your teammates are your former opponents."
     The three teams all reacted differently, with Yuna and Rikku giggling happily, Lani and Amarant socking each other in the arm, and the Shinras nervously biting their lips in the exact same way.
     "Now, Jenova is not allowed to race with you because her speech does not work on camera, and Strago cannot be picked because he is having troubles staying alive," Gippal explained. "And don't worry, each of the teammates you pick will be motivated by a ten thousand gil bonus should they be on the winning team. Yuna and Rikku, as the winners of this leg, you may pick your two teammates. These teammates do not have to be on a team already. Mix and match as you please."

     Yuna and Rikku both immediately pointed to Paine at the far left of the line. "Dr. P please!" they both said.
     "I hate that name," Paine said as she stepped forward and joined Yuna and Rikku.
     Yuna and Rikku huddled together and whispered to each other.
     "And we'll take Squall!" Yuna said.
     Squall stepped forward and joined the three women.
     "Y R P reunited!" Yuna, Rikku, and Paine shouted. "Also S!" they added. Squall buried his face in his hands.

     "Your turn, Amarant and Lani," Gippal said. "Who do you pick first?"
     "It's Lani and Amarant," Lani corrected Gippal. "And let's see. Any ideas, Red?"
     "That one," Amarant pointed. "He'll fit our style nicely."
     "Good call," Lani said. "We'll take Jecht!"
     "Heh, ten thousand here I come," Jecht said. "I always did like this team."
     "And for our second-"
     "Actually," Gippal interrupted Lani. "As the second place finishers, you only get to pick one. Yuna? Rikku? Will you ladies pick Lani and Amarant's second partner?"
     Yuna and Rikku looked exactly twice as shocked as Lani and Amarant did, which was saying a lot. They began their pick with several 'umm's and 'uhhh's. Just then Squall leaned in close to the two girls and whispered to them.
     "Uhh, okay," Yuna said. "We hereby give them Rinoa."
     "Bitch!" Lani yelled. "I wanted the hot pervert Fig Newton brother!"
     Rinoa smiled nervously, then stepped forward and joined Amarant, Lani, and Jecht.

     "Your turn," Gippal said to Rufus and Shinra. "Oh, but I'm sorry. As the third team, your two teammates will be chosen by Lani and Amarant."
     "Oh damn," Rufus said. "I told you not to gossip so much, Fatass!" Rufus yelled at Shinra.
     "Relm!" Lani immediately shouted. Then she paused to think.
     "Awesome! The cute one is all mine!" Relm said, looking over Rufus.
     "And I guess the hot pervert Fig Newton brother," Lani said. "At least he might be on a flight or two with me."
     "Do I get a say in this?" Amarant asked.
     "No," Lani said.
     Edgar and Sabin looked at each other and poked each other in the gut a couple times before Edgar finally stepped forward. "After much debate, I believe they chose me," Edgar said with uncertainty.

     "So these are the new teams," Gippal said. "Those of you not picked, please board the ship and return to sequesterville in the beautifully restored city of Cleyra. The rest of you, get plenty of rest, because the rest of this race will leave you restless!"
     "I hate you," Paine said to Gippal.