Episode 3: Early Show

INT. STUDIO

Baralai sat behind his large wooden desk with the oceanic backdrop. Beside his desk was a large golden couch.

BARALAI (to camera): I guess this goes to show: you should never hire a babysitter that used to be a serial killer. And in other news, we are joined now by the latest castoffs from everybody's favorite reality show: The Amazing Final Fantasy Race. Please welcome Cecil and Rosa Farrell-Harvey.

Cecil and Rosa entered from the left, both waving and smiling at the crowd, which was actually just Nooj the cameraman. They sat on the couch with Cecil closer to Baralai and Rosa on his right.

BARALAI: Welcome to the show!

ROSA: Thanks, Baralai!

CECIL: Happy to be here.

BARALAI: So how was your racing experience? Different from your life before?

ROSA: Very much so. It was strange because we ended up placing first in a setting very different than ours. Very advanced technology. Then when we were in a less technological world, we ended up eliminated.

CECIL: That's not entirely true. We did poorly the first leg as well, which was very advanced as well.

ROSA: True...

CECIL: Maybe we're just bad racers!

ROSA: Ha ha, oh come now, Cece. We weren't that bad!

BARALAI: So when I watched this episode, I had no idea how you couldn't come back from everything. You were still ahead of the wounded Freya and Fratley, then Ma and Zell mess up and end up behind you. I mean, what happened? Why couldn't you get back in the race?

CECIL: Editing. We stood no chance since the Detour.

BARALAI: Oh? Explain what we didn't see, please.

CECIL: Well, as you saw a little bit from the edit they provided, I wasn't incredibly happy after Dona and Barthello used us at the detour. Their strategy was smart, but very despicable. I haven't heard of anything so cruel since back in the past when I was sent to a village with a package I didn't know contained a bomb.

BARALAI: That does sound bad.

CECIL: Well, the silver-lining was that it started me on my path to desolving my evil ways.

ROSA: Which was a very good thing. But anyway, as he was saying, it was horrible what they did. We couldn't believe it. Between that and their attempt to steal our flight, we were downright peeved at them! So between our anger and confusion as to whether we should switch detours or not, our brains just stopped working.

CECIL: Freya and Fratley were so kind to offer to help us and we really hoped that we could work together to pass Dona and Barthello and knock them out of the race... And if not then we thought we could at least beat a couple of cripples.

ROSA: Ceeeeeece...

CECIL: Sorry. So we continued to race and had to do the noble thing and help Freya and Fratley. We knew it was a risk, but we never want to stoop to Dona's level. That's something that the old, bomb-delivering Cecil would do. So we pressed on. But then at the book storage, hell broke loose.

ROSA: We got a bad edit. See, first we get to the book storage and all we know is Dona and Barthello are doing just fine. They're not stuck at the books. They're on their way to the next task. So we start looking for the Germonik Scriptures and it's just a mess in there. Books are all over the floor because of Reno and Rude earlier as we saw. What you don't see is that all over the floor in this pile of books are several copies of the Germonik Scriptures. They're lying everywhere from past teams.

CECIL: But we didn't know they were from past teams. So Rosa continued to check the shelves, then I saw one on the floor and opened it up happily. Then I find the page and it's already torn out. So I set it aside and keep digging through the ones on the floor. By about my third one, I realized they were the discarded ones. So I started getting really angry. Unfortunately, my anger threw everything off. I started getting snippy with Rosa and I was getting so frustrated that I was looking through a shelf, only to realize I wasn't actually looking, you know? Just seeing a shelf of books instead of looking for a specific one.

BARALAI: I see. But Zell and Ma were still nearby, right?

CECIL: For a short time, yes. But when we got to the roadblock, Zell was actually much farther up the wall than the editing makes it look. And he was going up very quickly. We hadn't even opened up the roadblock clue and we knew we'd lost, but we kept on trying anyway. Just in case. But I'm not much of a rappeller, so there was no chance.

ROSA: Look how pale he is. He doesn't go outside and climb mountains. He doesn't have that exotic tan like you do, Baralai.

CECIL: Honey... Stop flirting with the host.

ROSA: I'm not flirting. Why do you always thing a compliment is flirting?

NOOJ (O.S.): Because most men do.

ROSA: Oh really. So was I just flirting?

NOOJ (O.S.): Yes.

BARALAI: Kinda, yeah.

CECIL: See?

ROSA: Men...

BARALAI: Okay, well after those explanations, I just have to say I'm sad to see you off the race. You were one of my favorite teams and it's always sad to see someone lose because they were doing the right thing like you did.

ROSA & CECIL: Thank you.

BARALAI: So one last question. The big question I always ask. Who are you rooting for now that you're off the race?

CECIL: I really hope Freya and Fratley do well. I'd like to see them turn this injury around and laugh right in Dona's face when they win the one million gil. I also really like Ma and Zell. Zell is a bit of a hot-head, but then again, so am I.

ROSA: Yeah, they're great teams. I also like Reno and Rude. Not exactly the most noble of teams, but something about two sexy men in dark suits.

CECIL: You're being a whore again...

ROSA: Oh be quiet. Keep being jealous and maybe I'll take Baralai out for coffee after the show!

BARALAI: Okay, that's definitely enough time for this. I need to get out of here before I get killed.

CECIL: Relax, Baralai. We're just playing.

ROSA: Sort of.

CECIL: Sort of. Agree to coffee and lose a limb.

BARALAI: Next-up-a-story-about-baby-kittens-gotta-go-bye!