Episode 7: Early Show

INT. STUDIO

Baralai sat behind his large wooden desk with the oceanic backdrop. Beside his desk was a large golden couch.

BARALAI (to camera): Welcome to the Early Final Fantasy Show! Today's top story: murder. That's right, murder. On everybody's favorite new reality show, Damn I Love Final Fantasy Criminals, it turns out they're all trying to kill the woman hosting the show! What a strange show. The woman is looking for love while the men are looking to kill her. Isn't that crazy?

NOOJ (O.S.): No.

BARALAI: Oh shut up. You're always off screen anyway. Why don't you just come over here and be on the show.

NOOJ (O.S.): No.

BARALAI: Why not?

NOOJ (O.S.): Because then my family might see that I work for this horrible show. I can't disgrace them like that.

BARALAI: They're already disgraced. Well if you won't talk, then I've got nothing. Our dumbass producer-

NOOJ (O.S.): I'm the producer.

BARALAI: I repeat: our dumbass producer booked this segment for the Amazing Final Fantasy Race castoffs, but it's a non-elimination leg, so there aren't any.

NOOJ (O.S.): I don't watch the show. How am I supposed to know that?

BARALAI: By watching the show!

NOOJ (O.S.): No.

BARALAI: Fine. Well I'm going for a cheeseburger then. Turn off the camera.

NOOJ (O.S.): It's about time you said something I wanted to hear. But first, read this from the cue card.

BARALAI: (reading) Come join me for a cheeseburger, Nooj. It's my tre- No! I'm not treating you!

NOOJ (O.S.): Fine, but I'm still coming. And I'm deducting whatever I eat from your pay.

BARALAI: You don't pay me though!

NOOJ (O.S.): So?