Episode 10: Early Show

INT. STUDIO

Baralai sat behind his large wooden desk with the oceanic backdrop. Beside his desk was a large golden couch.

BARALAI (to camera): Welcome back to the Early Final Fantasy Show! I... I've gotta be honest with you. This is the interview I've been least looking forward to. I want to let it be known before they're even here, that I am indeed hornless and love to (and I quote):"howl alone." Okay, bring them out. The latest cast-offs from the Amazing Final Fantasy Race, here are Biran and Yenke!

The Ronso came out waving to a crowd that didn't exist as they sat on the couch beside Baralai's desk. Biran sat closest and demanded Yenke sit on the far end of the couch.

BIRAN: Great to be here, Gippal.

BARALAI: It's umm, Baralai.

YENKE: He say Baralai!

BARALAI: Uhh, right. My mistake. So...the team that couldn't crack the top three. That must be annoying.

BIRAN: Like your face!

YENKE: Annoying face! Annoying face!

BARALAI (to camera, whispering): This is why I didn't want to do this.

PAINE (O.S.): You talking to me? I like these guys. They make fun of your annoying face.

BARALAI: Come onnn end of segment or death. End of segment or death.

PAINE (O.S.): I've got a coin if you can't decide.

BARALAI (to the Ronso): So! What went wrong, fellas? You were doing so well, then you went into the trash and never came out.

BIRAN: Lots of trash. Hard to see. And garbage numbers not very clear. Always check twice because maybe it one. Maybe it zero.

YENKE: But guessed box combination first try! Ronso smart like that.

BARALAI: Right. Smart. So tell me. Most other Ronso aren't so fixated on their horns.

BIRAN: What!? Of course they are! Especially little Kimahri!

YENKE: If you know Ronso not care about horn, you tell Biran and Yenke where to find! Will take ungreatful Ronso horn!

BARALAI: Never mind! Never mind! Just pretend I said nothing. (Are we done yet?) So... You sure did like Garnet and Brahne. How'd you guys take the loss of that team? It seemed like you were almost ready to eliminate yourselves to save them.

BIRAN: Nonsense! We try to help hornless summoner, but not at cost of Ronso money! Ronso stronger than blue blobular one. She not have chance. Biran just think about helping them to mat. But decide to do it after Ronso check-in. Not before.

BARALAI: So what was it like watching all those really good racers fall out of the competition before yourselves?

BIRAN: Yenke. He suggesting Ronso are not good racers. Extract his horn.

YENKE: But...he hornless.

BIRAN: Biran thinks Yenke will be able to find something horn-like...

YENKE: Ohh. You mean hoooorn.

BARALAI: Yeah, err, no. I didn't mean that! Please stop looking at me under my desk. I just meant that some teams --not necessarily you-- were probably not as good as others, but the uhh, good teams, uhh, like you, of course, all started getting eliminated.

BIRAN: Ohhh. He mean Ronso good, too! He not understand while final three left still there while Ronso go.

BARALAI: Umm, sure.

BIRAN (shouting): Well listen here, Annoying Face! Teams left all very strong! Dona strong summoner! Barthello big like Ronso! Both strong! Purple-hair Faris strong! Speak different words! Smart! Pink-hair Reina smart! Love Ronso fur! Pet Ronso when cameras not on, and Ronso like it! Hair-horn Zell strong and fun! Play with Ronso while watching bunnies! Hair-horn Zell Mother strongest of all! Make sure Zell not be stupid! All strong! If not strong, how they beat Biran?!

YENKE (shouting): And Yenke!

BARALAI: Right right right! Of course! I'm sorry, my writers make me ask some stupid questions.

PAINE (O.S.): Writers?

BARALAI: Shhh! So, Biran and Yenke. Who do you want to win this whole thing?

BIRAN: Ronso, of course!

BARALAI: Err, I mean the race! The race you two are no longer part of.

BIRAN: Still Ronso! But not think Ronso can win. Not sure if there a loophole to win after being eliminated.

YENKE: But Yenke is looking in rules!

BARALAI: Okay, so if you had to pick someone that wasn't you, who would it be?

BIRAN: Ohhh. Probably hornless summoner and her fat mother.

BARALAI: This is useless...

YENKE: It Yenke turn to ask questions. Mr. Desk Man. Why you dumb and ugly?

BIRAN: Also annoying.

YENKE: Yeah. Why you dumb and ugly and annoying? Is it because face is dumb and ugly and annoying?

BARALAI: I'm done.

Baralai stood up and walked off the stage. Paine turned off the camera.