Episode 11: Early Show

EXT. STUDIO

Baralai sat in a blue director's chair, but instead of his typical backdrop, he sat on an outdoor stage. In six chairs to his left were Reina, Faris, Barthello, Dona, Ma, and Zell. In a chair to his right was Gippal. Behind him were several people waving at the camera and occasionally yelling to the contestants, Baralai, and Gippal.

BARALAI: Welcome everybody to The Early Final Fantasy Show. We're here today with the final three teams of the second season of The Amazing Final Fantasy Race, where Reina and Faris barely walked away as the winners of the one-million gil prize.

A lot of cheering erupted from the people in the background at the mention of Reina and Faris's names.

BARALAI: So let's start by talking about the finale. Right away, Reina and Faris, you two fell behind and...pretty much dropped out of the competition with the very first task.

FARIS: Aye. We was too flustered. Din't notice a hidden message, 'n din't notice the clue tellin' us to turn the lights out.

BARALAI: Zell, you and Ma made the decision to turn lights that were previously off, on. A bold strategy there, especially considering the way things turned out in the end with Ma giving up the chance to win, don't you think?

ZELL: I don't regret it. We did what we thought we had to. It wasn't anything against the rules, ya know? And we thought they would be our only competition. It was crazy to see Dona and Barthello all kicking butt and stuff!

MA: We also weren't entirely sure if that was part of the task. Dona and Barthello got it first, so maybe they turned the lights off and never turned them back on, giving us a freebie.

ZELL: Yeah, right, Ma.

MA: You never know!

BARALAI: So moving on in the finale, you landed on Besaid, which is a beautiful island, and had to do some searching. Ma, Zell, how did you miss that sphere?

MA: Zell had us walking really fast. It must've beeped briefly, but we didn't notice.

BARALAI: I see. And Barthello, Dona, your reactions?

DONA: Pure joy.

BARTHELLO: We didn't even think about it much until we noticed we were sailing without them. We were very pleased at that point. Thought we had the game!

BARALAI: Reina and Faris, speaking of Besaid, how much did that stink to see the boat pulling away from the dock without you?

REINA: A lot. We were sure we'd lost! We just kept kicking ourselves and thinking like, "if only we'd found that one button ten seconds faster."

BARALAI: I was glued to my TV when that happened.

PAINE (O.S.): You fell asleep, and I had crazy glue. What did you expect?

BARALAI: I have the worst camera-people. So, the cloister seemed freakishly easy for you two, Dona. Barthello.

BARTHELLO: It was. Our home is Kilika and it was Dona's first aeon. We have great memories of that cloister and know it like the back of our hands.

BARALAI: So then...what happened? How do you lose with let's see, a twenty minute lead on Reina and Faris, plus knowledge of Kilika and the cloister. That Roadblock wasn't that hard, was it?

BARTHELLO: It was. I had the option of three different teams, but we knew nothing about those three teams. They formed a clique that we were not part of. I lost a lot of time just reading the three boards, trying to answer any of the questions. But the delay on Leg 2 happened after we passed, and nobody really talked about it since it was so meaningless. We knew Biran and Yenke had used their delay, but never really knew when. And the one about the slide puzzle was the prior leg, but we had taken the Fast Forward. There was no way to know. But I picked their board just because I knew the one about the plane tickets. Oh, and I was pretty sure they teased everybody about being hornless.

BARALAI: Wow. That must be a talking record for you!

DONA: It is.

BARALAI: So then like, what happened to you, Ma? Reina, jump in here too, but somebody tell me how it gets down to the two of you left and...wow. That was quite a scene! It was very heartfelt. I remember hearing it very loudly while trying to free my ear from the TV. But how does Reina, who had to be at least ten minutes behind, end up passing you, Ma?

MA: I knew so many answers, but I got hung-up on a few of them. Plus, I couldn't find any of the right answers in the bin! There were so many of them! That's why I gave one to Reina. Once I gave her the "sixth" sphere, I searched for another maybe five minutes for my own.

REINA: I was so happy to get that sphere! Thank you again, Ma! And Zell, too, by proxy!

ZELL: No prob!

REINA: I was really happy that people left me the Zone and Watts board. It was nifty! I knew most of the questions from past conversations with Zone, but it was hard to remember all the answers! And even harder to find the right spheres!

BARALAI: So it really came down to that last task. For any viewers out there that didn't see the amazing part where Ma sacrifices her sphere for Reina's benefit, please, look it up on youfftube or something. So Ma, you said you gave up the sphere because you just couldn't go on. What happened?

MA: An entire race around worlds happened! You really don't watch, do you?

BARALAI: Well, erm...some viewers write questions they want answered and I ask them.

MA: I'm just playing with you. But seriously, It was such an intense race all the way that I just needed a break! I hate to say it, but I thought we would NEVER make it as far as we did. I'm surprised these old bones carried me as far as they did! But pair that physical tension with all the stress of a final leg, and you have a ma in some bad shape! I feel so badly that Zelly worried for me like he did!

ZELL: Oh, knock it off, Ma! You'd worry for me, too!

BARALAI: Well, we're all just glad you're okay. But now, to turn to Dona and Barthello. And our champions. I've gotta know. What happened? Dona and Barthello had a huge head-start on the final swim, but...lost. Dona was there first, but then...

DONA: We live at Kilika: an island. And yet, still, the best Barthello knows how to do is doggie-paddle.

BARALAI: You're kidding!

BARTHELLO: Dona! You said you wouldn't say!

DONA: It would've come out anyway. And I wasn't running as fast as I could've when they passed me. I knew without my partner I couldn't win anyway.

FARIS: And we be Tycoons! Ain't no out-swimmin' the great pirate Faris 'n her sister!

REINA: Yeah! And we beat her running, too. Don't let her put you on like that.

DONA: Oh please.

BARALAI: Dona, is that a...smile? Don't tell me you've become fri-

DONA: Don't finish that. They're...people I can tolerate. After the race, we've spent time together, because we were forced to.

ZELL: Oh yeah right. We really forced you to have all those meals together and play video games and all that stuff.

DONA: You're all asking for it now.

BARALAI: Even Zell? All friends--err, acquaintances? Even after the horrible things you two said to each other all race?

ZELL: We're both insanely competitive. Once we were out of that setting, she went from being a umm...b-word to a umm...well, still kind of a b-word, but at least she wasn't so mean to all of us. Just gotta know how to take what she says, I guess.

BARTHELLO: We know we appear as one of the meaner teams in the race, but now that it's over, we can finally show who we are.

BARALAI: Okay, well we have a few things to do, but before we leave this topic, Dona, please. Tell us what was with that end thing with Fratley? I mean, you and he were...not friendly.

DONA: We still don't get along too well, but one thing I can't deny is that he is a gentleman and would catch any falling woman, I believe.

BARALAI: Understood. And what was the thing with Zone and Watts at the end?

DONA: For some reason, they believed they "owed" me for U-Turning them and for doing something to Reina and Faris. But it was Barthello's choice!

BARALAI: Well, you sure made a spl--

DONA: Choose your words carefully.

BARALAI: Never mind. But speaking of Zone...Reina. Come on.

REINA: I knew it! I knew you'd ask!

FARIS: Gyar! Now I owe 'er fifty gil!

REINA: No, sorry, Baralai. Just good friends.

BARALAI: Well that's too bad. Okay, I'm going to hand things over to Gippal here juuuuust as soon as he answers a question about Episode 10. The shower--

GIPPAL: OH COME ON! That was just one huge snafu! We signed the woman, Aya, up to be a greeter, right? So then she says something about the bathroom mat. I assumed she meant to set up the mat in the bathroom, which was...weird, but we did it. I guess what she really said was "do we have a bathroom mat? I'm going to take a shower." I sure didn't hear her though. That dog barks a lot.

BARALAI & PAINE: Yeah, right.

GIPPAL: Hey, if I wanted to be a pervert, I wouldn't do it on camera! My face is worth millions! Well, lots. But I'm done with that, I have things to give to people. The first being this check for one-million gil, presented to Reina and Faris: winners of The Amazing Final Fantasy Race: Season 2!

Reina and Faris stood up to take the large check from Gippal. Both girls held onto the decorated check made out to them and smiled for the camera as the crowds in the background clapped loudly.

REINA: Wait, "the first"? Do the runner-ups get a prize, too, or something?

ZELL: I wish! It's just more crap for you!

REINA: (to Faris) Do you know about this?

FARIS: Aye. But only a little bit.

GIPPAL: Oh stop hyping it. We just had a second package to give you two from another racer. The note I got says, "Sorry about the first magazine you found. But I figured an animal-girl like you would appreciate something a little more tasteful."

Faris took the giant check from Reina and held it by herself while Gippal handed her a stack of magazines called Pet Pals. She looked at them and started giggling, but then looked up at Gippal curiously.

GIPPAL: Note says it's the whole set...Well, all they've printed anyway. Oh, and of course it ends with, "Congratulations! From, Zone."

REINA: Oh my gosh, he's so sweet! Can you tell him "thank you" for me?

GIPPAL: Sure, I suppose so. (he starts shouting off to the left) She says "thank you!"

The camera pans to the left to reveal Zone and Watts, who were standing in the screaming crowd.

ZONE: Tell her she's welcome!

REINA: OH MY GOSH!

Reina drops the magazines in Faris's arms, catching her off-balance and forcing her to curse and swerve. She races to Zone and hops over a rope without hesitation and jumps into his arms and kisses him passionately. Not much else is seen, however, as a black-gloved hand covers the camera.

WATTS (O.S.): Whoa! Nice job, sir!

GIPPAL (O.S.): Wooooooo yeah! Oh, hey! Paine! Get your hand off!

PAINE (O.S.): Not one for privacy, are you?

GIPPAL (O.S.): Oh come on, they're the ones making-out in public! They have it coming!

PAINE (O.S.): Not happening.

GIPPAL (O.S.): Well at least point the camera back at the money!

PAINE (O.S.): I just said "no" to that.

GIPPAL (O.S.): No no no, not them! The real money shot! Me! This face!

PAINE (O.S.): Oh, that. I suppose even chump change is money.

The camera is uncovered and pointed at Gippal and Baralai. Nobody is really paying attention to them as the entire crowd is looking to the left and cheering so loudly that even with a microphone it was difficult to hear Gippal speak.

GIPPAL: Okay, well, that's it, everybody! Your winners are already putting their winnings to good use, or something. That's it for Season 2, but guess what!? We're renewed! Networks are all over this show, so yes, we are cleared for a Season 3! Send in your applications, people! And hurry, because it's the last season we're accepting any applications for! Until next time, folks!

Gippal and Baralai wave to the camera. They are joined by Faris, who comes in holding the giant check, having abandoned the pile of magazines on her chair. No audio can be heard from all the screaming and cheering, but she starts laughing with Gippal and pointing to the left (her right) and making gestures toward her own stomach as if she had a horrible cramp, then laughing more. She is joined by Zell, Ma, Barthello, and eventually Dona when Barthello pulls her in, then all of them join Gippal and Baralai in waving at the camera until it fades to black.