Hey Sephy...are bones supposed to stick through the skin like that and smell so horrible?
     "Mother, why would you ask something so stupid? She doesn't have any bones sticking through her skin...and Mother! That's sick!"
     Aeris opened her giant green eyes quickly, scaring Mother back into the car. Being the gentleman that I am, I helped her to her feet. What? I am too a gentleman. That whole evil thing, well, you'd flip out too if you learned Mother was your mother.
     "Are you okay?" I asked her genuinely, continuing to be the gentleman I am.
     "Jesus, Sephiroth!" You nearly killed me again you goddamn moron!"
     Frankly, this scared me. I'd never heard Aeris speak with such a foul mouth. I continued to stand unresponsive as she finished telling me off.
     "Okay, now that you're finished, would you like to tell me what the hell you were doing out here in the first place?" I asked.
     "Actually, I met up with Yuffie recently, and well, she doesn't only steal materia anymore. She grabbed something important from me that I'd rather not tell you what it is, so I went after her."
     "Right, well, need a lift? I'm already taking Vincent and Mother to some odd place, you could tag along."
     "Sure! Shotgun!"
     She has a shotgun? Ahh! Holy cheese grater!
     I climbed into the driver's seat and Aeris got shotgun. I started driving around the always sunny corner and actually made it without hitting anything but those annoying penguin things. What're they doing in such hot climates anyways? The trip over was very scary. Mother kept screaming like a woman getting knifed in a horror movie, and Aeris kept checking me out. I don't really know why the girl with a flower garden in a church had become such a blasphemous pervert, but I didn't care to ask. I enjoyed the female attention, even if it was Aeris.
     Quick Sephy! Make a sharp turn to the left. I opened her door a little, and she's not wearing a seatbelt... She'll fly out and we'll drive off.
     We arrived at Cosmo Canyon, but nobody seemed to want to get out. I saw Red XIII running for the car, trying to make his own cameo appearance, but when I saw him, I decided it was a good time to floor it. I guess our next stop will be that Gongaga place. Thunk!
     Now you've done it Sephy! You've really hit a dog this time!
     "Yes, Mother, but I'm not stopping for this one."