We finally made it home. Mother was so happy, she just had to run inside and turn on the TV. I opened the door for her, but Aeris raced in faster than Mother.
     "Me first!" She yelled and ran inside... and fell. Yes, that's right. Aeris fell into Mother's pit of stupidity underneath the rug I don't own. I'd better find out who owns that rug or I could get into serious trouble. Oh, and don't worry about Aeris, I caught her. I'm such a great guy aren't I?
     Ha, now you're both in the hole! And I'm sealing it!
     I thought she was bluffing, but she wasn't. She welded a steel plate above the hole before I could blink. What really scares me is that I had a wooden floor. How could she weld something to a wooden floor? I don't have to worry though. I have the utmost confidence that Vincent and Lucrecia will get Aeris and I out of here...

     I think a day went by down here in the dark with Aeris. Mother kept tapping Morse code through the metal plate. Finally Aeris pulled out a lighter she had in her pocket and we found a hidden passage, most likely it was made by Mother when she made the hole. It led to my underground library behind one of the bookcases. I pushed it aside and led Aeris back up to the house where we found Mother watching Sonic.
     Where the eff were you? Sonic's almost over.
     Aeris sat and watched TV with Mother while I went to see where Vincent and Lucrecia were. About halfway up the stairs I decided that finding them could be disastrous to my sanity and turned back to watch Sonic with Mother and Aeris. The door bell rang... well, more like the oven suddenly flared up since the door bell was still attached to the oven. I quickly put down "fix door bell" on my list of things to do.
     DOOR! I'll get it!
     Mother raced for the door, opened it, and led the stranger into our kitchen to look at our knife collection. This is how she greets people.
     It's a good way of making people feel welcome. Like that feller a couple months ago that came to our back window at midnight. You know, the one that must have just been skiing and forgot to take off his mask. He loved the knives. He played a game with me.
     "Mother. There is no such game as 'I'm going to stab you in the brain. You just thought it was a game."
     Whatever.
     The man she brought in was Dio from the Gold Saucer.
     "You must be Jenova," he said. "Well, I've heard a whole lot about you. First off, about the whole destruction of the Gold Saucer. Rumor says you did it, but nobody can prove beyond reasonable doubt that you cast the meteor since nobody watches battles in the Battle Square. The real reason I came here was to congratulate you. You won our 'Design the new Gold Saucer' contest. Heck. I didn't even know we were having a contest like that, but since you were the only contestant, you win. Your idea to expand the Gold Saucer into a giant theme park covering the desert and the newly cleared out forest area is great. We'll get started right away. Oh, and by the way. What is your starting bargain for piece of the profit pie?"
     Profit pie? Is that like cherry pie? I'll take a piece, sure.
     "Mother," I interrupted. "He means 'what percent of the profit do you want?'"
     Uh, okay... what's a percent?
     "I'm putting it on myself." I told Dio. "I'll be Mother's financial advisor. She wants twenty percent."
     "Make it thirty and we've got a deal." Dio said. I couldn't believe how stupid this guy was.
     "Deal," I said.
     "Great. I'll contact you by phone from now on. I already got the phone number from Jenova, so I'll be going."
     "Wait. Let me see the number she gave you." I took the number and looked at it. 58?-41#2. That's a tough one to put into a number pad. I gave Dio our real number (which actually had no numbers that were the same as those given by Mother) and he headed out.
     Hooray! I won my first contest. I also have my own theme park! What a great day.
     I turned to go have a sandwich in the kitchen and you'll never guess what I stepped in. Go on, guess. Aeris had removed the metal plate and was filling it with cement mix, but she was only half way done. I fell face forward in cement mix. Mother grabbed a shovel and began shoveling more on top of me before I could get up, but I still got out of the cement mix and stared at Mother.
     Oh, wow. I didn't even see you there. I was just helping Aeris. Sorrrrry.