We got Tifa's car working, so after a quick stop to pick up Aeris, we were off on our quest to find Mother. Tifa was driving... extremely fast for that matter. She did slow down slightly when we passed Cosmo Canyon. We saw that the Cosmonites had used their Instant Car Breakdown machine again and this time the victim was Rufus. He was sitting down, pouting at the bottom of the staircase leading into the city while they repaired his car for a large sum of money. He looked up in a way that made it look like he wanted us to forgive him and give him a ride. So we did what we had to do... everybody moved to the left side of the car and gave him the finger, then Tifa gunned it, and we continued on our quest. Upon reaching the river, we found a paved bridge with a construction sign and another sign that had a whole lot of writing on it. Tifa stopped so we could get out and read it.
- Shin-Ra's new plan to dominate the world through money. Expansion of Midgar has increased under the new "Neo Super Happy Future Big Midgar Covering the Entire Planet" plan. Midgar will never again be known as a giant metropolis with a whole bunch of poor people living in it. Midgar will be the planet. This new world will have roads, fast food, theme parks, restaurants, bowling alleys, supermarkets, zoos, fish markets, museums, cattle farms, cars, giant corporate buildings, a Starbucks around every corner, and of course, big tall stinky Mako Reactors. Enjoy nature while you can, and I hope you materia holders realize that with all the new weapons and inventions, materia will hold very little importance and therefore will decline in value. So all of you people with a basement full of mastered 'All' materia that thought you were rich, well, you aren't. File for bankruptcy now.
- President Shinra
     I kind of wish I never read that sign except that in green spray paint, Mother (I could tell her handwriting) had written "I'd turn back if I were you" followed by "...unless you're Sephy 'cause I need Sephy to bring me a dollar."
     "Mega bummer," Tifa said, looking at me and nodding toward the sign after I looked up at her.
     "Yeah, I know," I said, "I have over a hundred mastered 'Alls.'"
     "Uh huh," she said unsympathetically, "and you haven't even paid me back for the car your Mother blew up."
     "Didn't you have insurance?"
     "Doesn't your Mother count as an act of God?"
     This was true. Mother was classified as an act of God, mostly because they didn't know what else to call her, so most insurance companies did not cover 'destruction by Jenova.' I needed to call some materia salesman to find out if the materia thing was true, and if so, what those mastered 'Alls' are going for. I reached for my cell phone but found it wasn't around my belt where it always was. I know I picked it up when I left, even though I left in a hurry, but it wasn't there. I searched all over my jacket.
     "Missing something?" a mysterious, yet familiar voice said behind me. It was Yuffie. I turned and saw her standing angrily with her fists against her hips. "I can't believe you left me with Zack's parents! Do you know how annoying they are? But I'm not one to hold a grudge." She leaned in to hand me my cell phone, but when I leaned in to take it, she quickly pulled it back. "For a price that is."
     Yuffie is very fast at everything except for reading. I read this somewhere and hoped it was true. Time to work my magic.
     "Okay Yuffie, I'll make you a trade," I said. "If you give me my cell phone and whatever gil you have on you right now, I'll give you this key. It unlocks the door to my basement full of materia. All of my materia is mastered and worth a lot of money, so I'll let you take a few of them. What do ya say?"
     Yuffie's breathing slowed as she handed me my cell phone and forty thousand gil.
     "Now, I want to keep some of my materia, so Aeris? Will you go with Yuffie to make sure she only takes three or four?"
     Aeris nodded.
     "And Tifa? Will you go with them to make sure Aeris doesn't raid my underwear drawer?"
     Tifa giggled and nodded. "But won't you need a car to look for your mother?" she said.
     "I've got a cell phone and a lot of money. I'll call a cab or something. Don't worry."
     "Hey! I just thought of something," Aeris said, way too enthusiastically. "In that show Charlie's Angels, there were three attractive girls who took orders from that one guy. That's just like us! Three attractive girls who have been sent on a mission by Sephy."
     Tifa gave Aeris a what-the-hell look, but I gestured for her to just go with it and whispered to her, "she's been hanging around my mother way too much lately." Tifa instantly understood and headed over to her car. Aeris and Yuffie followed.
     "But didn't they have guns in that show?" Yuffie asked Aeris. "Do we get guns?"
     The girls sped off quickly in Tifa's car. I pulled out my cell phone and called for a cab.