I knew right away that I was no match for the entire Shin-Ra army... Well, yes I was, but from what I've heard, they've gotten stronger, they've got guns, and they've got super fighting robots-
     They have Mega Man!?
     "Say Reeve," I asked. "Are you and... and Mother... going to come with me?"
     "I was going to send one of my Cait Siths with you, but something happened to them... something rather bad."
     "Explain."
     "I was perfecting my Cait Sith model, equipping it with actual weapons- the whole megaphone thing only existed because I hadn't added on the machine guns yet, but now, they have machine guns with laser sights."
     "And how is this bad?"
     Yeah, yeah, and how much is a hot dog?
     I handed Mother a handful of gil and she left to find a hot dog stand.
     "The problem," Reeve continued, "is that while staging my own assault against Shin-Ra, Shin-Ra learned of my planned attack through someone in my company, and struck first, stealing my Cait Sith Death Machines."
     Don't forget, they have Mega Man.
     Mother was back with mustard all over her face and no change.
     "Approximately how many of these machine gun toting Cat Siths does Shin-Ra have?"
     "It's Cait Sith, just so you know, and approximately fifty."
     You limey moronic fag! Nobody can have fifty robots.
     Fifty in Mother's mind, is the largest number in existence. Really, her whole concept startles me. Fifty is larger than infinity, but fifty-one, is not. She knows all of her numbers, and they're all in the right numerical order, but not fifty. Seventy minus twenty is undefined, but it is approximately forty-nine point nine. I told Reeve this, and he told Mother he meant to say about forty-nine robots, which she accepted.
     "Well, if I'm to take out the fat one, I'm going to need some help," I told him. "I can take out many of your super fighting robots-"
     Mega Man!
     "-but not all of them, so I'll need a distraction. To tell the complete truth, I'm also extremely lazy. Last time I killed President Shinra, I broke Cloud and the others out of prison so they could distract the guards and chicken robots while I went undisturbed into Shinra's office and stabbed that fat asshole."
     "I can help a little," Reeve said, "but not a whole lot. I've got a briefcase full of C-4-"
     Hit! You've sunk my submarine you piece of-
     "Shit! You've got a briefcase full of C-4!?"
     Reeve already called that space. Pick something else.
     "So now all we need is some transportation," Reeve said. "I've got a plane waiting at Costa Del Sol to take us as far as Junon, and a car to take us to the Mythril Mine, and I'm hoping you can still kill that big snake, and we'll have a short walk to the chocobo farm, and a chocobo carriage to take us all the way into Midgar and into Wall Market. It'll be quite a walk to Costa Del Sol from here though."
     "Not if you want a ride," said a familiar voice from behind us.
     Rufie!
     "If the plan is an overthrow of my dad, I'll lend a hand, no matter how many times your damn dog bit me, and no matter how many rabies shots I needed afterwards. I've got a truck that'll fit three up front and your mother in the bed-"
     Cool. I haven't slept in days.
     "Don't bother explaining your plan to me. I overheard the whole thing. I've got a sawed-off shotgun, Reeve's got the bombs, and Jenova's got... well, she's good for a distraction-"
     Reeve's got bombs, and I'm da bom!
     "Then we're off," I said. "Start the truck Rufus."