"Okay, so Seph," Tifa said, trying to change the subject from Aeris's spout of curse symbols, "we're going into Midgar with you, and get this, we're going in style. You know those Devil Ride monsters around here? The possessed drag racers? Well, it turns out they can be driven. Aeris did a Seal Evil attack against a group of like, four of them, and we now have four unpossessed drag racers to cruise around in."
     "Cool," I said, trying to stand. I can be bit by giant dragons and take zero damage, but when it comes to sliding down a rocky cliff with Mother on me, I'm in tons of pain.
     "We can fit two people per racer, so let's divide ourselves up."
     "Ooh! Ooh! I get to ride with Sephy!" Aeris yelled excitedly.
     No no, me! Dibs on Sephy.
     "No, I think I should go with Sephilis," Marlene argued. "I'm the most vulnerable and cute, so the toughest one should go with me."
     "Yo! What about me!?" Barret protested.
     "All right, I'll choose who goes in what cars," Tifa said angrily. "Damn people. We'll only be in these things for a few minutes. I mean, damn. It's so short, I would share a car with Sephiroth-"
     "You all heard that!" I yelled while limping over to one of the cars. "Tifa's riding with me. Not Aeris, not Barret. Tifa! In a tightly packed car."
     "Aw shit! I didn't- I mean... shit! Fine. Me and Seph-"
     Seph and I.
     "Grr. Seph and I, Barret and Marlene, Dyne and Yuffie, Aeris and Jenova. Okay, let's go."
     Hooray! Me and Aeris!
     "Aeris and I," Tifa said mockingly.
     "Quit fighting with Mother and help me to our car," I said to Tifa while limping over to her and putting my arm around her. She put her arm around me and helped me walk to our car. I love playing the injured card. I'm able to walk now, but she doesn't know that.
     Ooh! Sephy! Tiffany is gonna tell Tifa what you just thought!
     "Mother. Tiffany doesn't read minds like you. If you told Tifa, it would be you getting in trouble."
     Well then, do you want to know what Aeris just thought about you Sephy?
     "Not really. Aeris is extremely red-faced right now, so I'm sure it was extremely dirty."
     Well she said that your-
     "NO!" Aeris ran over and kicked Mother extremely hard, sending her flying a good ten feet.
     This is where I screwed up. I started to run to Mother to see if she was okay. After a step and a half, I stopped, turned, and saw Tifa's extremely pissed off facial expression. "Umm..." I said, forcing myself to collapse on the ground. "Ohh, ouch. So much p-pain? Tifa?" I should take some acting classes.
     Tifa hopped into one of the racers and sped off toward Midgar alone. "I'll meet you guys at Shin-Ra HQ," she yelled.
     "Well shit," I said, standing up easily; no longer in any pain. "Now we'll have three to a car. Who will-"
     "Yo, I already got Marlene," Barret said, walking Marlene to a car. "We aren't sharin' jus' because I would like to stay sane."
     "Dyne is... friken... huge," Yuffie yelled between breaths as she and Dyne raced for one of the cars. "So uhh... we... need... our own... thing... yeah... bye!"
     Hooray! Me and Aeris and Sephy!
     "Aeris, Sephy, and I," I corrected the obviously uninjured Mother.
     Okay, I'm going to tell you what Aeris thought about you, Sephy. She thought 'what if I could somehow piss off Tifa and force Seph to ride with me? Jenova? Any ideas?'
     "Thanks guys," I said.
     We all piled into the tiny car into the tiny seat. We rode it like one of those log rides in amusement parks, with me in back, Aeris in my lap, and Mother in her lap, holding Tiffany. I'm not sure what happened to Edwardo. I think he rode with Dyne and Yuffie. Aeris reached around Mother and drove us to Midgar, while telling Mother and I-
     Mother and I.
     "I said that."
     Huh? You did? Aw! Dammit! Cheater!
     Aeris continued to tell Mother and I all the dirty jokes she knew, and about her video she made called 'Boys Gone Stupid' which is a video about the disturbing things guys have done just to get one of her cheap flowers.
     "And then this one guy," Aeris explained, "he wanted a flower so badly, that he- RED!"
     "Huh?"
     Aeris had spotted Red XIII on the road up ahead, and made a sharp turn in order to hit him.
     "That was pretty cool Aeris," I said, watching Red XIII fly over our car.
     "Thanks," she said. "So anyway, this guy wanted a flower so badly..."