"So Seph- umm... Steven," Aeris said, fumbling over her words to come up with another name for me so Fatty wouldn't know we were behind him, "what are you going to order?"
     I responded, "Well Aer...err..."
     Arthur.
     "Arthur. Arthur!? Moth-"
     "Shh," Aeris said, grabbing one of my hands to calm me down. "I can't believe you called me by my middle name," Aeris said winking. "Don't you remember my name is-"
     Tim! Sam! John!
     "Penelope," Aeris said loudly as if trying to talk above Mother's supposed voice. A few people looked at her, but not Fatty.
     I'm no good at this acting thing. I so wanted to jump over my seat and just stab him in the head. In fact, I did. I jumped up on my seat, dove over the glass shield with a large knife in my hand, and stabbed down where Fatty's head should have been. It was not there though, because he was in the bathroom, and was quickly returning to his unfinished turkey. My knife had landed directly in that very same turkey before I slid off the table and onto the seat opposite of where Fatty's indentation was.
     "May I help you sir?" Fatty said to me.
     I slowly slid up, making sure my hat was still on. "Oh, uhh... no thanks?" I said.
     "Honey!" Aeris said, running toward me and helping me up. "I told you Stevey, don't take that man's food, just ask him if you can try a piece. I'm sure he'd let you." She turned to talk to Fatty, "would you mind if he had a bite? He can't decide what to order and he's thinkin' about the turkey dinner."
     "OHHH, well then," Fatty said patting us both on the shoulders, "if you can't decide what to order, then I can help you out! If you like juicy, tender, red meat, then...."
     He went on for a while, and Aeris and I just pretended to care. When he stopped talking, I responded, "well, I'm going to go with the turkey. I had a bite of it and it was mighty good. Thank you sir."
     "You're very welcome, Sephiroth," he said. "By the way, here's your hat. It fell off a minute ago."
     Holy crudmuffin! How'd he know? Uhh, I'm not with you. I've never even seen you before.
     "Mother, you're not even in here," I said. Aeris gave me a 'you're a real idiot sometimes' look, and looked back at Fatty.
     "So who sent you? It was Reeve right? Or was it Rufus?"
     "A true assassin never reveals that," Aeris said. I, on the other hand, was only worried about saving my own ass.
     "Both of them actually," I said.
     "I see," he said. "Is this over the Neo Happy Midgar thing?"
     "For Reeve, yes, for Rufus, I highly doubt it."
     "Well tell Reeve to not worry about that anymore. He can do whatever he wanted to do with his Sith Co. I'm moving on to bigger and better things."
     "Like a fast food chain!" my earpiece yelled.
     Yeah, or like a uhh....
     While Mother thought of something funny to say, I led Fatty out of the restaurant and over to the van where everybody was standing with the exception of the Turks who were surfing... poorly. Other people that were part of this mission showed up while Aeris and I were dining. Currently Shera was standing by the van and Reeve was leaning against the van, obviously hitting on Shera. I interrupted them by tapping Reeve on the shoulder and pointing him over to Fatty. While Reeve discussed important things, I discussed proper safety with Marlene and Mother. Mother had a great idea to put sugar in the tailpipe, and Marlene was trying to remove the entire engine. I gathered everybody up, distributed generic swimming trunks and bikinis which I had gotten from Brucee in exchange for my trench coat, and we all ran off to the beach to relax. All except for Reeve and Fatty, who were talking about important stuff. I found a nice spot of blanket to lay on (it was nice because Tifa was also laying on this blanket), sat down, put on my sunglasses-
     Where'd you get those, Sephy?
     "That's not important, Mother," I said.
     I think Tifa fell asleep, and what do ya know, she forgot to put sunblock on. I found a bottle of sunblock lying conveniently next to me, picked it up, and squirted some into my hand. Just then, Yuffie came flying in, landing right in front of me on her stomach.
     "Ooh, thanks Seph," she said. "I didn't even notice I didn't have any sunblock on. Could you? Pleeease?"
     Tifa did fall asleep after all. She'd still be there, so I started rubbing sunblock on Yuffie's back.
     "Oh my God!" Aeris yelled, approaching the blanket. "Tifa! You're gonna fry! Don't worry, that's what good ol' Aeris is here for."
     Tifa woke up, but didn't move much. Aeris plopped down beside her and started putting sunblock on her. Yeah, it sucks, but it could be worse. I could be playing 'Dodge Board' with the Turks. It was their own invented game where the four all caught one big wave, then while riding it, one person purposely loses control of his board and tries to hit somebody else and knock him off the board. Or I could be playing volleyball with Barret, Dyne, Cloud, Yuffie, Aeris, Marlene, and Mother. Actually, I think I will play volleyball. It looks like fun, and it's boys versus girls, so I don't have to be on a team with Marlene or Mother. Now if only I could get Tifa to join the game somehow, today would be a pretty good day.
     Hippopotamus resort!
     "Mother? Is something wrong with you?"
     Bigger and better things. He's gonna open a hippopotamus resort! Ha! I told you I'd think of something funny!
     Uh huh. Well, next to that comment, nothing I say could be dumber, so I went for it.
     "Hey Tifa. Wanna play volleyball with all of us? It's girls versus boys."
     She jumped up, startling Aeris, made a fist and shook it at me. "Boys versus girls!?" she yelled. "Then what are we girls doing lying around here!? It's time to kick some male asses!"
     And the game was on.