Everybody looked around frantically, but nobody could find either Mother or Marlene. Barret ran outside and started yelling for Marlene, but it was hopeless. I looked at Cloud (who had backed up a step or two away from me). I put my right hand forward.
     "We're both pathetic," I said. "No hard feelings, okay?"
     Cloud shook my hand and we both walked toward the door to the Seventh Heaven.
     "Hey Seph," Cloud said. I turned to face him while everybody ran around us to exit the Seventh Heaven and search for the two escapees. "I've got a proposal for you. Well, not so much a proposal, but more like a bet. In fact, it is a bet. I bet one Master Summon materia that I can get laid before you."
     "That's horrible," I said. "What do you take me for? You think I'm an idiot? You've got six hot women who are hot for you living with you, and I've got Mother who scares away most women."
     "Okay, to keep the stakes even, I'll say we can't get with anybody we know as of now. Also, the girl cannot know of our bet, nor can she be paid for the night."
     "You're sick," I said, then stuck out my hand again, "but you're on. How are we gonna know if the other succeeded? Are we just gonna take each other's word for it? If so, I won already."
     "No, we'll uhh... get the girl to uhh... No. You know what? Yes, we will take each other's word for it. Master Summons sell for crap money, and we don't need two of them, so there's no major prize here. After all, I think we both have several Master Summons, right?"
     I nodded and shook his hand again.
     "Okay, the rules are, she has to be of age, and we can't go looking for women if there's something else to be doing, like now. We need to find Mother and Marlene."
     Cloud nodded in agreement, then we both ran out of the Seventh Heaven to join the others to look for Mother and Marlene. Before we could start looking, a van pulled into our sector and parked. The van was none other than the Ghetto Mobile. The side sliding door fell off, and the Turks, Rufus, and Shera came out, then Cid came out of the driver's door. The Turks tried to put on the door while Rufus, Cid, and Shera came up to me. The rest of the sector gathered around us.
     "So what's up?" I asked. "Are we screwed?"
     "Not even close," Rufus said. "About half way there I realized that nobody liked Mayor Domino, except maybe that scary Hart dude, but he's dead. So anyway, we went to talk to President No-Belt-Big-Enough, a.k.a. my dad about things, and I just straight up told him. 'Listen father-like figure, you know that bastard Mayor Domino? Well, Jenova and Marlene crushed the life out of him with a giant rock and he's dead now.' So then, he starts busting up laughing, and says, 'My goodness. I've been waiting for somebody to say that- Well, maybe not the part about killed by a headless thing and a small child, but I have been waiting for the rock part. I'll take care of everything son. In fact, we'll not say anything about this for about a week. Then, I'll announce that he's been away from office for too long, and because he has neglected his duties as mayor, we're going to have an election for a new mayor.' Then, get this, he actually says to me, 'Hey son, did you want to run for mayor? I'll even say that the first candidate for mayor is my own son Rick.' I wasn't too happy that he forgot my name, but I was happy that I'm going to run for mayor in about a week."
     "That's awesome," I said, "but that also means our problem is now your problem. See, we lost Mother and Marlene, and if they tell people about their assassination, then people may think twice about voting for you since you were an accessory."
     "I wasn't an accessory!"
     "You don't think smear campaigns will simply overlook your involvement, do you?"
     "Good point. Well then, if elected mayor, your sector will be legal and I'll do you guys favors when you need them, but you have to ensure that I'm elected if you want this to happen, so you'd better find those troublemakers."
     "I think I'll add some incentive too," Tseng said, walking with the other Turks toward our group after poorly fixing the door. "If we can find them before they do anything more or say anything to anybody, I'll throw a party like you've never seen. We'll use the Turks' own creation to play our favorite game. We've created a giant Twister board, combined it with a hose to make it like a Slip and Slide, then, no rules, no clothes, and lots of alcohol to play-" All the Turks made trumpeting noises, but none of them were doing the same trumpet tune. "Naked-Drunk-Slippy-Falldown! We don't even have a spinner for it. You just put yourselves in kinky positions around somebody of the opposite sex-" he emphasized his last two words then looked over at Rude and Reno.
     "Dude, I was wasted," Rude said. "Reno's got long pretty hair. I saw him from behind and well, can you tell if he's a dude from behind?"
     "You were the only two playing," Elena said.
     "ANYWAY," Tseng butted in, "somebody off to the side yells out things like 'left hand green and blue foot yellow'- remember this is all done while drunk- and when somebody yells 'LEFT HAND RED!' everybody falls where they are, somebody cranks up the hose, and everybody struggles to stand up to start the next round."
     The crowd was silent. A few people near Cid coughed, and everybody just stared at the Turks.
     "Y-yeah, we could to that," Rufus said. "Or we could just party at my place with strobe lights, bubbles, and beer."
     "I'll do whatever everyone else does," Aeris said, "but for now, shouldn't we be looking for the girls before they get too far?"
     "Don't worry," I said. "I'll find them, no problem. See, this has happened before when Mother ran away a couple years ago. She likes to remember her way home, so she drops these thin, plastic arrows on the ground that point her to home. See?"
     I pointed to a line of arrows on the ground that pointed to my own front door.
     "Now, correct me if I'm wrong," Cid started, "but if we follow the arrows, won't we just be at your $%@^ing front door?"
     People started murmuring around us about Cid's intelligence, but he didn't notice.
     "Okay, Cloud, Aeris, Tifa, Barret, and Dyne, come with me. The rest of you stay here in case they come back on their own. We'll go after them."
     We set off after the Mother and Marlene, following the way the arrows' tails pointed. We soon found ourselves in none other than Wall Market. The arrows led to a pile of decapitated Barbie dolls laying by the town entrance, but Mother and Marlene were nowhere to be found.
     "My guess is they split up," Cloud said. "We'd better do the same to cover more ground quicker."
     "I was guessing they ran out of plastic arrows," Dyne said, "but yes, let's split up."
     "Groups of two?" I asked.
     "Yeah, that should work," Cloud answered.
     "Me and Tifa!" Cloud and I yelled in unison.
     Tifa gave us both an offended look, and put her fists on her hips. "What was that? Me? Why ever would you want me?"
     Using my superior knowledge of women, I quickly responded, "I meant me and Aeris."
     "Yippie," Aeris said, and ran to me and threw her arm around my back. I put my arm around her, and watched Cloud struggle.
     "Come on," Tifa said, "let's go Barret, I'm waiting."
     Barret walked over to Tifa and they left toward the bar together.
     Dyne walked over to Cloud and socked him in the arm. "Looks like it's you and me," he said. Cloud sulked along behind Dyne as they went to check out the gym (Dyne volunteered to check the gym because he said he likes to work out).
     "So where do you want to check? I asked Aeris.
     "The Honey Bee Inn!" she responded quickly. "I've got a membership there, so we'll get through security no problem."
     Mother can get through people quickly without being noticed, so I figured checking here wasn't such a bad idea. All I hoped was that we wouldn't run into the man I feared most. The one person I still shake with fear when I see him.
     Mukki.