Aeris and I walked down the path to the Honey Bee Inn. Aeris knew and acknowledged everybody she passed, while I trembled in fear that I may run into Mukki. To sum up my fear for Mukki, I'll just say that I was getting ready to join soldier when I was approached by an older man who wanted to know if I wanted to join the Big Bubby's Club. I said I would, then went to the first meeting, bathed in a small tub with ten guys, then was told to meet in the next room for the final part of the meeting. I was young, but I wasn't stupid. I didn't go, but still, much like Cloud should know, bathing with that many guys is enough to drive you to suicide. I told Mikko (Mukki's father who started the Big Bubby's Club) that I couldn't go because I had soccer practice, but Mother walked in at just that moment and told him I didn't play soccer anymore, and therefore could join him. I ran in fear, and was fine, but Mother kept trying to get me to go back to the club. She made cookies and brownies, wrapped them, and put a card that said 'From Sephy to all my little buddies, please take me back (by force).' They kept coming to my dorm and I kept having to turn out the lights and pretend to not be there. Mukki started the Little Bubby's Club after the Big Bubby's Club was arrested, and then somehow found some legal loophole that kept the Little Bubby's Club from facing the same fate as the Big Bubby's Club, but they've kept sending me mail about how they want me, the only non-arrested member of the original Big Bubby's Club to join them. Therefore, I'm petrified of Mukki.
     Aeris and I walked into the Honey Bee and stood in the circular room, deciding which room to check first.
     Check the make-up place. I love make-up.
     "Mother!" I turned around and saw Mother standing right behind us.
     Hi Sephy. You sure run fast. Where are you going? OH! I know. You wanna join back up in the Little Bubby's Club, don't you?
     "We were looking for you," I said.
     No, you weren't looking for me. I followed you all the way here.
     "We couldn't find you."
     Marlene and I were playing Barbies in Tuby before you left.
     I couldn't believe it. Nobody thought to check the tube before we left to find them.
     "Okay then. Where is Marlene?"
     I dunno. She went somewhere else. I think she went to the bar.
     "Okay, then we can leave this awful place before we run into somebody we don't want to-"
     "Reeve!" An elderly lady yelled across the room to us as she exited the Lover's Room. "Oh, you're not our son Reeve. Have you seen our son?" An elderly man exited the Lover's Room moments after. "Oh, how rude of us. Let me introduce us. I'm Reeve's Mom, and this is Reeve's Dad."
     "Howdy," he said.
     Whoa. They have awesome names. Sephy! You're new name is Jenova's Son.
     "Oh now, ya can't do that," Reeve's Mom said. "Ya can't just change his name. His name's his name."
     "So you were born Reeve's Mom and Reeve's Dad?" Aeris asked.
     "Yup," Reeve's Dad replied.
     "Neat."
     "Aw that's nothing," Reeve's Mom said. "You should meet Reeve's Great-Great-Grandpa. He didn't even live long enough to meet Reeve."
     Oh boy! Let's go meet him Sephy!
     "Naming children was pretty easy in your family, wasn't it?" I asked.
     "Yeah, it was," Reeve's Dad said, "but it was hard to find certain people, like Reeve's Mom. We didn't even live in the same city, but when I went on a road trip one day down to the market, I met Reeve's Mom, and we knew right away, that it was destiny."
     Same with me and Sephy. We met one day, and I knew I'd ruin his life forever and after.
     "Well, we gotta get going," I said. "We're in a bit of a hurry."
     "Okay, we'll catch ya'll later," Reeve's Dad said. "If you see Reeve, could you tell 'im to come find us? We've finally found Reeve's Wife, and we need them to meet."
     "That's creepy," Aeris said, "but we'll tell him. Bye!"
     Aeris, Mother and I left and started toward the bar. Before we got there we ran into Dyne and Cloud who were walking out of the gym. Cloud looked extremely upset, and Dyne was moderately happy looking. Dyne was wearing a disgusting looking wig on his head.
     "Oh thank god," Cloud said. "Aeris! Sephiroth! Somebody tell Dyne to get that thing off his head. It's grossing me out and he doesn't know why."
     "Oh fine," Dyne said. He took off his wig and tossed it onto a giant pile of trash.
     "I see you've had a bit of luck," Cloud said, looking down at Jenova.
     "Yeah, we think Marlene may be in the bar."
     "I wish," Barret said, walking out of the bar. Tifa was following him. "We jus' found out dat Marlene went to Corneo's mansion. She hid under some lady's dress and snuck in, and da guards won't let anybody in unless they're female or Corneo himself. Problem is, the ladies can't leave for a week or so 'cause Corneo's out on a business trip, so whoever goes in has to stay for like a week, but the doors'll be closed after today."
     "Okay, let's go Tifa," Aeris said. "We'd better get in there." Tifa nodded and the two of them ran to the mansion.
     "I'll bet you're worried about them, aren't you?" I said, elbowing Cloud. "Can't let them go in alone eh?"
     "Shut up Seph," he said. "I am worried though. They have to be in there for like, a week. I can't let them stay in there for a week."
     "Yo, if you is thinkin' to jus' attack the place, then don't," Barret said. "Those guards got Cinematic Chips. You know, those things that mean phoenix downs and stuff don' work. And I wouldn't press yo luck, 'cause they got guns, and snipers, and people wit bombs. We'd better jus' wait for Corneo."
     What if Corn Man shows up early?
     "Dat's a good idea Ms. J," Barret said. "If one of us was to dress up like Corneo, we could get the girls out quick. Okay, so who want's to do it?"
     "Not it," Cloud said.
     "Well, I can't," Barret said. "I don' quite fit the description."
     Yeah, 'cause he's got a beard, and Corn Man doesn't have a beard.
     "Well, who is there then?" I said. "Dyne and I can't do it. My hair won't work, and Dyne's like, twice as big as Corneo. Sorry Cloud, but you're the best we've got. At least it isn't cross dressing, right?"
     Dyne found his disgusting wig in the pile of trash and put it back on. "I'll back you up if you need help. I'll go in as a hot girl."
     I looked at Barret. "Marlene and him? Why're you still sane?"
     Barret shrugged. "Well, firs' stop is da gym to see if they got some styling gel. If we can jus' style Cloud's hair into a mohawk, then jus' hide the remaining hair, then hair'll be fine."
     "Right," I said. "Then to the clothes store for an outfit, then find some pillows to stuff the gut, and we're set."
     The group walked into the gym down the road and entered cautiously.
     "Back for more, eh?" one of the three large men working out asked. Dyne nodded, as did Cloud.
     "This time though," Cloud said, "we need styling gel."
     The large black man approached us while the other two white men watched intently from the boxing ring.
     "We don't even need Big Bro in here for that," he said. "I've got some styling gel, but you're gonna have to play me for it."
     "More squats?" Cloud asked sadly.
     "MORE SQUATS!" The gym echoed from the yells of the three regulars.
     "Don't worry Cloud," Dyne said, pushing him aside, "I'll get your gel for you."
     "Just like you won that pube wig, right?" Cloud said. Dyne nodded, thought about it, then nodded again.
     Dyne and the large black man-
     That sounds racist.
     "What does Mother?"
     Dyne and the black man. How come you use white guy's name, but not the black man's? Huh? Why?
     "Because I know Dyne's name, but I don't know his."
     Well then, let's just call him Tim.
     "My name is Alfonz," he said, joining mine and Mother's conversation.
     Oh forget it. I'll narrate the rest of this. Dyne and Tim dueled each other by doing pelvic thrusts at each other, until finally, Dyne could take no more. Dyne collapsed on the floor, and Tim raped him.
     "Okay Mother, I gave you a chance and you screwed it up. I'm taking over. Ahem. Dyne lost the squats match and-"
     Cloud looked at me, and coughed "out loud."
     I decided to only narrate to myself from know on.
     Cough -I can still hear you.
     I gave Mother an odd look, then continued narrating.
     Cough -off topic.
     Anyway, Dyne accepted defeat, but Alfonz said he'd still give him the styling gel, just not top of the line gel. Alfonz proceeded to reach in his speedo, and Cloud drew his sword.
     I didn't know Cloud could draw.
     "Mother! Stop interfering with the narration."
     Sorry.
     "Now now sonny," Alfonz said, pulling his hand out of his speedo. "I wasn't looking for the gel down there. The free gel is on that stand right behind you. I was surprised you actually played a game of squats with me for some packets of that styling gel you get in the mail. Enjoy it now."
     Cloud grabbed some styling gel and we all left.
     So what was Tim looking for in his pants then?
     "Try not to think about it," I said. "I don't really want to know. Anyway, guys, I think we should split up so we can get this done quicker. Cloud, you go talk to the inn keeper and buy some pillows. Barret, you go order Cloud's outfit. Mother, go get something to eat and bring me the pharmacy coupon. Compliment the chef too. Don't tell him anything I wouldn't."
     Like, I've had better Raisin Bran!
     "Right, like that. Dyne, you go do your thing. Go get pretty or whatever." Dyne cheered inaudibly. "Oh, and another thing Dyne. Stay away from the Turks and whatever inebriating things they may own." Dyne nodded again, and left. Cloud, Barret, and Mother all went and did their tasks as well.
     I went to the bar and had a couple drinks while waiting for everyone. They arrived at the bar approximately ten minutes later, and Dyne and Cloud were fully dressed. Cloud looked very wrong, but I didn't think anyone would notice little hairs sticking out from under a cut up bald wig or his squarish stomach. Dyne looked like something from the Jerry Springer show. He was wearing the pube wig, a brass tiara, a short, bright gold tube dress, high heels, and no make-up what-so-ever. Mother was acting very proud of herself for not screwing up. She brought Cloud some cheap cologne which smelled very much like Don Corneo's brand. If Mother could smile, she would be smiling very widely right now.
     I also got some deodorant. I robbed the pharmacy guy. I couldn't get a pharmacy coupon 'cause the guy in the food place said I had to like the food in order to get one, and I told him the food tasted like the guy next to me's butt. I thought that was a compliment, but I guess not.
     The two talk show material looking memebers of the group looked to me. "What? Do I need to show you the way? Get going. Hurry."
     "Do I look fat in this?" Dyne asked me.
     I pointed to the door. Dyne threw his arm around Cloud and they walked to Corneo's mansion. Barret, Mother, and I followed and waited outside the mansion doors, as Don Cloudeo and Dynette went in to the mansion unquestioned. We leaned up against the mansion wall, and awaited their return.