Hey Sephy! Let's play the Waiting Game.
     "How do we play that?" I asked.
     Well, we all sit here and talk about the things we'd like to do instead of waiting.
     "Yo I'll start," Barret said. "I'd sure like to punch Dyne in da face for bein' such a dumbass."
     "Okay, me too," I said. "But what I'd really like to do is kill these mansion guards single-handedly and rush into the mansion like some sort of hero-type guy."
     Well that's all fine, but what I'd really like to do is shoot pigeons at pointblank range with a shotgun. Yippie! That was fun, but now for part two of the game, we have to actually do what we said. Okay? Sephy, you start.
     "Actually Mother, instead of calling your game dumb and stopping, I think I will keep playing." I pulled out my Masamune loaded with materia and approached the front entrance to the mansion. There were two guards on either side of the door, two around the corner to my left, two in windows above me, and one behind me. I walked to the one on the left, pointed at his belt buckle and asked: "Is that one of those 'Cinematic Chips' I've heard so much about?" He nodded. "Do you think if I tried to fight my way in I'd win?" He shook his head. "Wanna find out?" He nodded and all of them pulled out their weapons, most of which were pistols or rifles. I lifted my sword above my head and yelled: "There's only one thing that never loses in a cinematic battle, and that's a summoned monster! To avoid too much damage to this small area, and also because I think he looks cool, I summon you! Odin!"
     All the guards looked toward a tall mountain pillar appearing somewhere behind the bar. On top of the mountain, an armored knight with the face of a monster arose atop his six-legged horse. The horse reared up, jumped off the pillar, charged into battle, and stopped suddenly as the rider had commanded him to do so. The horseback knight looked around confusedly until I pulled the Master Summon Materia out of my Masamune and held it for him to see. He gave me a final odd look, then shrugged and lifted his steel-bladed sword high into the air and charged toward his first victims which were the two around the corner. He swung his blade around from right to left, slicing both mansion guards in half with one swing. Then, he charged quickly past me with his sword out to his left. The sword scraped against the mansion wall, creating a disturbing screeching noise and shooting out sparks, all the while getting sharper by the angle he held the sword. He rode past the two guards by the main entrance, catching them in their necks with his sword. He then traded his sword for his spear and threw it threw the open window, skewering the two second story snipers. He sheathed his sword, and proudly left as his steed galloped away.
     I turned around and saw one remaining guard was standing behind me. I drew my Masamune, slashed him across the chest, put my sword away, and waved as Odin disappeared. At that moment, Cloud, Dyne, Tifa, and Aeris walked out of the mansion. Barret rose to his feet and punched Dyne in the face. Dyne didn't care. Mother ran off saying something about her turn. I didn't care. Cloud, Aeris, Tifa, and Dyne looked around at the mess outside the mansion, then Aeris and Tifa ran back inside, holding their mouths.
     "You called Odin!?" Cloud said, removing his costume.
     "Yeah," I said. "I didn't know he was this messy. You should have seen him though. He's awesome."
     Cloud nodded.
     "Where's Marlene?" I asked Cloud as the girls returned.
     Cloud pointed to Shin-Ra HQ. Dyne was refusing to remove his costume, but Barret was doing it for him. Everyone was actually relieved when Dyne was standing in front of us only wearing a pair of underwear. He left to find his normal clothes. Cloud was still wearing his normal clothes under his costume. Once Dyne came back, we headed for the Golden Shiny Wire of Hope.
     The ultra secret entrance to Shin-Ra HQ was still there, but nobody was sure if we should climb it again. Mother came back from wherever she went.
     Hey guys. I need a shotgun, some buckshot, and a pigeon. Anybody?
     "Well, who wants to go first?" Cloud said.
     "Yo, wait a minute," Barret said. "Marlene ain't there! Ain't nuthin' left there but nuthin'! We torched da place."
     "Oh yeah," I said. "So what're you talking about Cloud?"
     "Shin-Ra was burned down? Well she's not there then. Marlene left the mansion with Scarlet of Shin-Ra, so she could be anywhere."
     Barret and Dyne both reacted the same to mention of Scarlet. They both got angry and anxious and started running back to town. Everybody was sick of Wall Market anyways, so we all headed back to town. Mother kept searching for pigeons. On our way back to our sector, we came across a baby chocobo.
     Pigeon! Stand back! His head's gonna fly!
     "No!" Aeris yelled, running forward and picking up the chocobo as if Mother actually had a gun. Aeris cuddled that baby chocobo all the way back to the sector, leaving Mother to ponder her hunting skills.
     I'd have seen him faster if my hunting dog was with me. Edwardo! Where you at boy? I need to watch more Elmer Fudd cartoons to improve my skills.
     "Mother, Elmer never killed anything."
     Yes he did. He killed Bugs Bunny. Poor little bunny. Poor little wabbit.
     "What're you talking about? How'd he kill Bugs?"
     With his spirit-magic-helmet.
     "Mother, that episode doesn't count. They were acting. That was the opera episode."
     Yeah, and what'd you expect in an opera? A happy ending?
     "Thank you for quoting Bugs Bunny. Can we get on with the finding of Marlene?"
     Oh, go on without me. I gotta perfect my hunting skills. I'm making a list of things I need to hunt me some pigeons. I need: a spirit-magic-helmet, some north-winds, some south-winds-
     "Okay, I got it. You've seen way too much Bugs Bunny. But you know as well as I do that you'd never let me go somewhere without you."
     Aww Sephy. You know me too well. Make room for Edwardo, Tiffany, and I. We'll shop as we go. Road trip!
     I was too busy arguing cartoons with Mother that I didn't even know about the already departing trip to find Marlene. We took the Ghetto Mobile because it had plenty of room. The people going were: myself, Mother, Edwardo, Tiffany, Aeris, the Turks, Vincent, and Barret. I didn't exactly hear the reasoning for this group, but I really didn't care. I was more concerned about the power tools Mother brought with her to construct her spirit-magic-helmet out of an old wire trashcan and a couple party hats. The Turks were all crammed up front while the rest of us stayed in the seatbelt-less back area. Tseng claimed he knew every strip club and party area on the planet, and he also claimed that Scarlet would most likely visit one of these places. Barret assured us that upon reaching one, Marlene would demand to stay there for days.
     "Hey Seph," Aeris said. "What should I name my new chocobo?"
     I really hadn't noticed she'd brought it with her, but I could tell by Mother's disgusting staring that Mother had noticed since the beginning of the road trip.
     You should call that thing Target-Practice, 'cause that's what he's gonna be when the SMH is finished.
     "That's not a good name," Aeris said. "I think I'm gonna name him Pecker."
     I think Mother sighted the newly arising problem at the same time as I did. The Ghetto Mobile had just left Midgar (the Turks claimed they already checked all the bars and strip clubs in Midgar) and now a large flock of angry chocobos were chasing us down. We all knew the Ghetto Mobile's top speed of twelve wasn't going to cut it, and we asked Aeris to give up Pecker, but she was refusing and the chocobos were gaining. Mother started getting real excited for some reason though. She threw on her recently completed spirit-magic-helmet, ran to Vincent and stole one of his shotguns, dove out the back door that nobody knew the Ghetto Mobile had, and ran toward the flock.
     Maple Bonsai! It's my turn now, and you gonna die pigeon!
     She ran up to the nearest chocobo, aimed at his face, and fired. The problem was that Mother had never used a gun, and though she knew how to fire it, she had no idea which end was the front. the shot fired straight into the air, scaring all the chocobos away. Mother was proud, and the Ghetto Mobile was still in motion, but it was no problem for Mother to catch up.