We pulled back into our Sector and I finally remembered how hard it was to keep Mother's mouth shut considering she doesn't have a mouth.
     Hey everybody! We're going to take down those foreigners in the Far West! Yuffie! You're to report to your local death camp immediately.
     Yuffie peeked out of the Seventh Heaven, saw all of us piling out of the Ghetto Mobile, and made a run for it. She ran by us all while we where on top of each other, falling out of the Ghetto Mobile trying to race to grab her. She didn't get far though because Rufus, who was apparently visiting our sector and was informed of what was going on, grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her to the ground.
     "We're going to do things like I say, got it?" Rufus demanded of us. Everybody in the sector came out to see what was going on. Rufus instantly started yelling commands at everybody. It was almost like he grew a spine or something. "I have new orders from Shin-Ra HQ. I've been ordered to take care of the whole Wutai threat and all of you that help will be paid for your services, but we have to be discrete about it because Fatty wants to act like Shin-Ra has no knowledge of the rising Wutai threat, and we need you guys so that we can claim the downfall of Wutai was a terrorist action taken by people in no way affiliated with Shin-Ra. Now we've learned about a group of Wuts that are planning the exact same thing we're doing, so we're going to need to split all you guys up, which I will do now."
     Woot? What's that Sephy?
     Rufus continued his speech. "Sephiroth, Jenova, Barret, Dyne, Marlene, Tifa, Aeris, and Cloud. You will be the team to go to Wutai and get information and destroy stuff. We mostly picked you guys because we want Jenova and Marlene off of this continent for a while, and you guys can actually deal with them kinda. Turks, you're to keep a constant watch over Yuffie."
     The Turks all started cheering and dancing around.
     "Hell yes!" Tseng yelled. "We're gonna get paid to do nothing. We'll tie Yuffie up to a chair, throw her in a closet, and party all night!"
     "Remember she's a ninja," Elena said. "She can probably slip through some ropes. I've got a better idea though. How about we lock her in a cage and chain her to a bed so we can make a bunch of kidnaper ransom videos with us like, beating her and not feeding her and stuff."
     "HELL YES!" Reno and Rude yelled, then did that thing where they jump into each other chest first.
     Aww... Sephy! I want to stay with the Turks. Ransom videos are so cool!
     "Continuing on," Rufus jumped in, "Shera, Cid, Vincent, Lucrecia, and this new robot Reeve made going to try and stop the Wuts that are coming to try and secretly sabotage us. Reeve will be monitoring the situation, so don't do anything stupid."
     "Why'd you look at me when you said that, puny man?" Cid asked of Rufus.
     "It's because you're stupid," Shera said.
     "Oh. Good reason, shrimp." Cid blew smoke in Rufus face and patted him on the head. Cid looked back at Shera. "What the %$#^ are you standing around for? You heard the boy! Do something! I'm on break."
     Why am I not friends with that man?
     "I really don't know, Mother," I said.
     "Now, I know this sounds dumb," Rufus said, "but I want all of you that are part of Operation 'Get As Far Away As Possible' to put on these colorful silk shirts from Mideel and wear these cameras around your necks, and carry a bunch of maps with you, and basically look as much like tourists as you can during your journey."
     I told you Sephy! I knew we'd get to dress up! I love Operation GAFAAP!
     "Well, you have your orders," Rufus said. "Get to it. Oh, and Tifa. You've been given radio duty. You, myself, Tseng, and Shera will all have a radio so we can keep in contact, but don't use them in public, and if you do, speak in code with lots of pronouns and other vague words." Rufus held out an opened box which had four radios in it.
     "Sounds like a plan captain," Tifa said. She took one of the radios and turned it on.
     Once we had all changed into our Mideelean shirts, Operation GAFAAP was launched. We were ordered to take the bus to Junon, then take a boat to Nibelheim, then walk to Rocket Town and catch a plane to Wutai, then finally do what we were ordered to do. I figured we'd stray from this plan, but we still took a bus because the boss, Rufus, was watching. There happened to be a bus stop right outside our Sector-
     Fancy that.
     We waited at the bus stop. Finally a crappy bus with graffiti on it pulled up and the doors sprang open. I stepped on and saw that our driver was Palmer in a bus driver's uniform. Aeris and Tifa started giggling at the sight of Palmer as a bus driver.
     "Hey hey, shut your goddam mouths," he said. "Shin-Ra is only letting me work for them again if I get you guys to Junon, so have a seat."
     Everbody found a seat except for Marlene and Mother who were currently playing the 'If I jump straight up will I go backwards' game. There was more entertainment on our trip than just this though. Not long after we'd left Midgar city limits everybody started getting crazy and talkative. We were the only ones on this bus, so many of us decided we could do whatever we wanted. Dyne started all the craziness when he pulled down his pants and pressed his ass against the one of the windows. Cloud, Barret, and I sat by each other and played poker and tried to drown out the sound of Dyne laughing at the ass-print he left on the window. Our poker game was interrupted by Aeris and Tifa though. They were giggling about something and we guys had to find out what. It turned out they were playing with the radio. I'm guessing Aeris started it.
     Tifa held up her finger to Aeris to try to make both of them stop laughing, then Tifa pushed the button to talk, put the radio to her mouth, and started making out with it. The poker game was over now that we'd found some entertainment. Aeris was clasping her mouth with both hands and stomping quietly on the ground to try and stop from bursting out laughing. Once Aeris calmed herself a bit, she grabbed Tifa's hand with the radio and brought it over to her own mouth.
     "Oh Rufie," Aeris said into the radio, "I wanna lick your noun so bad." Tifa let go of the button and both of them started cracking up loudly.
     "Come on girls," Rufus's voice on the radio said.
     Aeris took the radio and responded: "what's the matter Rufie? You want us to keep going? Is it making you hot?"
     "Screw him," Reno's voice came on the radio. "Keep going, keep going!" Over the radio we could hear the sounds of the Turks busting up with laughter.
     "Yeah," Rude's voice came on the radio, "just a bit longer. Tell us what you're doing. Are you verbing your nouns?"
     "Screw all of you," Rufus said on the radio. "I'm turning this off so stop abusing the radio."
     There was a brief second of radio silence, but it was interrupted by Aeris moaning and panting into the radio. "Oh!" She started screaming into it. "Personal noun! Lower! Lower!"
     Aeris let go of the radio button and looked at Tifa. "Five gil says he didn't turn off the radio," she said.
     Tifa smiled, then took the radio and yelled into it: "Oh my god! Rufus!"
     "What? What?" Rufus said over the radio.
     "You didn't turn off your radio!" Tifa said. Tifa and Aeris fell off their seats laughing. Between laughs, Tifa pointed at us and said: "look! They're drooling!"
     It was true. We were drooling. Her mention of us caused us all to break our stare and look around innocently while wiping our mouths. Sadly, Dyne was the only one of us with any sense. Instead of pretending he wasn't paying any attention, he had been taking pictures with the camera Rufus supplied from the very beginning.
     I really don't remember much more about the trip, mostly because Aeris and Tifa never stopped doing these types of things with the radio on our hour long trip. At one point, Tifa said something about a place where Rufus would never go, then put the radio through the collar of her shirt, which is where the radio stayed for the remainder of the bus trip. At one point in the trip, Tifa's chest started making sounds like Yuffie was being tortured and abused and screaming for her mommy and daddy. Then there were sounds of more Turk laughter over the radio. Aeris put her head on Tifa's chest, probably to listen closely, and Barret, Cloud, Dyne, and I all took pictures.