The bus took us to the entrance of the Mythril Mines, but then it got stuck in the marsh, so we had to walk. Palmer insisted on joining us until we reached Junon because he really wanted his job back at Shin-Ra. We entered the Mines and found that they'd been changed into some sort of tourist attraction. The path no longer wound around, but instead, we walked through a glass tunnel which went directly from the entrance of the mine to the exit. On the other side of the glass we could see the old mine along with all the monsters which roamed in it. There were several guards in the tunnel, most likely in case some monsters get through. There were also small pedestals with pictures of the monsters and buttons under them and a speaker.
     Tifa moved toward the pedestal to push one of the buttons, but one of the guards got in her way.
     "Sorry Tifa," he said. "I can't let you use that yet because it's not finished. We've got mechanics working on those still, and if you press it now, we're not sure what it'll do."
     Barret shoved his way through us until he was standing between Tifa and the guard. He looked down at the guard's uniform, which was very un-Shin-Ra like. It was a white zipped up flak jacket, black pants, a black helmet with a large visor, and a badge with Sith Co. written on it. Barret picked the man up by the jacket and threw him down the corridor.
     "Not bad Reeve," Barret said to the man. "You thought we should have a robot guide too?"
     "It's an android, not a robot," the man said, but his voice was now clearly Reeve's," and I'm not guiding you anywhere. I'm overseeing the construction of my company's tunnel. These slacker mechanics can't do anything right. The first time they built this, it fell down because somebody forgot a support beam."
     Can I ask a question? Does anybody care? Can we just get on with it? Edwardo has to pee.
     "Yeah, and I gotta make a number two," Marlene said. "Niggapapa said I couldn't go on the ground, so can we get to a crapatorium?"
     "Fine fine," Reeve's robot said.
     I thought it was an android.
     "Mother, I told you to stop messing with my dictation," I said. People stared at me, but I've learned to not care.
     "Kshhhhk, Tifa's chest. Come in Tifa's chest." The radio which still rested in Tifa's shirt was making noises. Tifa reached through her collar and pulled the radio out.
     "I hear you," Tifa said into the radio. "What's up?"
     "We weren't talking to you," Tseng's voice on the other end said. "We were trying to ask your chest a question."
     "Oh, okay. Ask away." She lowered the radio playfully.
     "Yeah, hey, Tifa's chest? We were curious how you ended up like that? Did you guys have some cosmetic surgery or something? Or did Tifa sleep too close to a Mako heating vent?"
     Tifa put the radio back up to her mouth. "Tseng, come on."
     "Hey! You're not in this conversation. This is between me and your knockers."
     "How'd you know I left the radio there anyways?"
     "Rude told me."
     "How'd Rude know?"
     "Reno told him."
     "Come on Tseng. Seriously."
     "Look up."
     Everybody looked up at the top of the glass tunnel and saw all four Turks looking down on us. They waved. Dyne and Aeris waved back. The Turks slid down the glass tunnel and found a door off to the side which they used to enter.
     "So that still doesn't answer my question. How'd you know?" Tifa questioned Tseng.
     "Reno and Rude said to stay quiet until they could get a good look at your hooters, but Reno mentioned that something was blocking their view," Tseng responded.
     "Hey wait," the Reeve android-
     Thank you.
     -said. "If you're here, then who's watching Yuffie?"
     "Yeah, that was my bad," Elena said. "The boys were out on a beer run, and I was left alone. She said she wanted to watch TV, so like a good kidnapper, I let her. She turned on the History channel, and within seconds, I was asleep. Then she must've slipped out of her ropes and dashed off."
     "Who hired you guys in the first place?" Reevebot said.
     Ooh, I like it. Reevebot.
     The Turks pondered Reevebot's question for a while, then they all shrugged.
     "We were told to help you guys out," Reno said to me. "Rufus said that we need to move extra fast now 'cause if we don't beat Yuffie to Wutango or whatever it's called, we'll be out of a job."
     "Don't have too much fear though," Rude said. "About an hour before she split, we forced her to drink a lot of alcohol, and in that little body of hers, it'll be several hours before she can walk straight."
     "That's horrible!" Tifa said. "That poor girl."
     "Hey!" Tseng yelled at Tifa. "Hey Tits McGee! Zip it or so help me I'll use a mini spell, and you'll be much less popular."
     "Yeah dude," Reno said. "It's not like we forced her to drink it."
     "Rude just said you did!"
     "Well screw him. He didn't stick to the cover story, which was that she broke into our liquor cabinet and drank everything."
     "If you guys are just going to gossip," Cloud butted in, "can I at least take Marlene and the dog through the tunnel so they can do their business?"
     "I think we all need to get movin'," Barret said. "Now we got a deadline, so move yo asses."
     Our group left Reevebot behind and continued through the tunnel. The exit was much closer now that it went in a straight line. Before we knew it, we were out of the tunnel, watching Mother ordering Edwardo to pee because she claimed she always knew when he had to. Still, Marlene really did have to crap, so we took a small detour at the moderately nearby Fort Condor. There apparently was an invasion going on because there were strange little men moving very slowly up the side of the fort.
     Sephy...
     "Fine Mother," I said. "Go ahead. Kill them all. Here's a fire materia, but I want it back right after. Got it?"
     Yippie! Maple Bonsai!
     Mother raced off to burn all the funny looking people while Aeris took Marlene in the Fort to find a bathroom. The rest of us refused to go in that horrible place so we stayed outside and talked. We placed bets on which would happen first: Marlene and Aeris coming out, or the building going up in flames. I took the flames and won ten gil for myself. Mother went fire crazy and soon caught the whole fort on fire. Nobody was surprised. In fact, everybody bet with me, so I don't think I'll make any profit off of my bet.
     Aeris and Marlene came running out of the flaming building and joined our group. Eventually Mother came out as well. I found the fire materia (she tried to hide it but she doesn't have many hiding places) and put it in my pocket. We trekked across the grassy plains until we were in Junon.
     Again.
     Again.