It didn't take long before everybody was panicking, and with the ship's crew already gone and civilians manning the emergency lifeboats, there was basically no chance of fighting through the already fighting crowd. I looked back to where Aeris and Tifa were, but they too were already gone in search of lifeboats. I gestured for Mother to follow me, and the two of us walked around the deck in search of a lifeboat. To my surprise, I saw the Turks crawling out of a lifeboat. Tseng saw me and headed over to explain things.
     "That was our boat," Tseng said. "We were calmly stowing away in it, but then Reno and Rude came back from singing and said how much they wanted to use one of those rafts to escape instead. You can join us if you want."
     Ooh! Ooh! Sephy! Pleeeeease?
     "No thanks," I said.
     "No prob," Tseng said. "Well, if you talk to Rufus, tell him about the disaster and make something up for our disappearance from the mission. Make it sound daring and exciting and junk, but make sure it also sounds kinda drunk, otherwise Rufus'll never believe it."
     Tseng gave me a thumbs up and ran to join the rest of the Turks. Reno and Rude threw the raft overboard and all four Turks jumped after it. I assumed they were safely away on their raft since I really didn't want to look, just in case they messed up.
     Oh no! Sephy! Where're Edwardo and Tiffany? We have to get them. I'll give my Edwardo call, so keep an eye out for him. Ahem. Boy! You better git up 'ere if yeh know wat's good fer ya!
     "That's an Edwardo call?" I asked. Mother nodded, and sure enough, Edwardo came running out onto the deck and over toward Mother and I.
     Now I just need Tiffany. Time to do my Tiffany call. Ahem. Tiffany! What'd you do now?
     "Honestly Mother, I hope this doesn't work. She's in a bowl."
     There she is.
     Mother pointed across the deck to a glass fishbowl that was being kicked by other passengers. A small boy's foot connected very solidly with the bowl and Tiffany's bowl skidded all the way over to Mother.
     Coincidence? I think not. Oh no! Sephy! I forgot something else! Quick! Follow me! Hurry!
     Mother ran off and I was forced to follow her. We went inside the ship and down a couple flights of stairs, when suddenly the boat lurched very hard as it had likely hit Mother's massive iceberg.
     "What're we looking for Mother?" I asked.
     Looking for? What're you talking about?
     "So what'd you forget?"
     Oh. I forgot that I liked the Poseidon Adventure lots more than Titanic.
     "You mean you're wanting to be stuck here until the ship flips upside-down?"
     Can't get anything by you now can I?
     "Come on Mother," I said. "We're not waiting until the boat flips over. It may not even flip-"
     Sephy! Umm, I mean Sephiroth. It's me. Tifa. Help. I'm trapped somewhere in the ship.
     "Mother. Tifa doesn't talk into my brain. You can't pretend to be people."
     Oh yeah. Oh, I got an idea.
     Mother pulled out a tape recorder and pushed play, but I immediately grabbed it from her and threw it down the hall.
     "No, Mother," I said to her sternly. "Don't even think about it."
     Fine. Hey Sephy! Look! The water in this room is rising. Listen to me jump. Sploosh sploosh sploosh.
     "Oh dammit Mother," I said. "We need to get out of here fast. This boat isn't going to flip, it's just going to sink."
     I started leading Mother up the stairs when suddenly the tape recorder across the hall exploded. Not just a little explosion either. This was so huge that it left a ten square foot hole in the side of the ship and instantly pushed the boat on its side.
     Hooray for Poseidon!
     "We're not upside-down Mother," I said. "We're sideways."
     Close enough.
     Now we were standing on the walls of the stairwell with a giant hole above us. We stood and watched for a minute as several other passengers flew past us down the hall and landed with sickening thuds on the far wall behind us.
     I've got the perfect escape plan! We let about two hundred of these people splat over there and pile up until we can use them as a ladder to climb to the escape hole I made.
     "I don't think there are that many people," I said. "Besides, I can fly."
     Lesse, that's about forty-seven so far. Only about... six more or so and we'll be on our way to safety! Wait a minute. That guy isn't dead. He's trying to climb along the floor to our hole! Don't worry Sephy. I'll fix him.
     "Please don't," I pleaded, but Mother was already putting her plan into action. She pulled out Cloud's cell phone, and don't ask me how, but she called the man's cell phone. The man started reaching into his pocket to answer, but lost his grip and fell back down, landing directly on his head.
     "That's sick Mother," I said.
     But also funny. Besides, we do what we have to to survive! It's us or him! I choose life Sephy.
     "Are you trying to win an Oscar or something Mother?" I asked. She nodded. I decided it was time to get out of here before she ruined other people's chances of survival. I grabbed Edwardo's collar and Mother's wing while Mother held Tiffany, and I flew us all up and out of the ship. Mother whined the whole time. When we were finally out, I noticed that we were just slightly off the shores of Bone Village. In fact, I think we were just moments away from docking there, because we were so close to the shore that the ship wouldn't even sink any further seeing as it was already resting on solid ground. I landed and dropped Mother and her pets off to walk themselves.
     Tiffany can't walk.
     We headed into Bone Village to see if there was anyone who could help us get to Wutai, but when we got to the city, we found that there wasn't anybody there. I decided to radio Rufus to explain our situation.
     "Hey, this is Rufus," he said from the radio.
     "Rufus," I said. "There's been some troubles. It's only Mother and I left."
     "What about the Turks?" he asked.
     "Oh, well, what happened with them was there was this-"
     Underwear thief!
     "Yeah, this underwear thief," I said. "He was trying to steal-"
     Monkeys!
     "You know what?" I said into the radio. "I don't know. They were drunk as always, and they are probably floating somewhere in the middle of the ocean playing a rousing game of grab-ass. Anyway, I'm in Bone Village and I need a lift to Wutai. We're stuck."
     "That figures," he said. "Well, try to make your way to Icicle Inn. There's a guy there that'll take you to Wutai. Just give him the password: Jenova."
     Wow. I get to give him the password. I'll bet the password is Godzilla T.
     "No, Mother, the password is Jenova," I explained.
     I shut off the radio and we headed to the City of the Ancients.
     I thought he said to go in an icicle.
     "We have to go to the City of the Ancients before we go to Icicle Inn."
     Oh. Well, you know our contact is Hojo.
     "Shut up!" I yelled at Mother. "It isn't going to be Hojo."
     If you're gonna pout, I'll finish this. Sephy, Edwardo, Tiffany, and the lovely Jenova were off in search of our contact and Sephy's loving father: Hojo.