Mother and I found our way to Gast's little science lab. Mother dared me to break down the door, so I did. There room was large, but the overall house was very small. It had a very odd mix of elements in the room. There were a bunch of science experiments set up in the far left corner of the room. They were leaking all over and very dusty and broken. The rest of the room looked like a house. It had wooden floors, a wooden dining room table, a couch, a tv, and even a large Persian rug directly in front of us. We couldn't find Ifalna or Gast, but we still decided to make ourselves comfortable. We walked inside, and fell. That's right. Under the Persian rug was a giant cement hole that now Mother and I had fallen into. Since I've had great experience with giant holes lately, I immediately got up and tried to fly out, but before I could get to the top, a giant 12" thick sheet of plastic fell over the hole and locked shut.
     Oh no! We're trapped! Trapped like rats! Quick! Edwardo! Run for help!
     I noticed an intercom to my left in the pit and figured this was a way to talk to the burglars they caught using this contraption. I was just wondering why a burglar would use the front door. Still, I walked to the intercom and pressed the 'talk' button.
     "Hey Ifalna and Professor Gast," I said into the intercom. "Your security thing went off and caught Mother and I. Can you like, disable it?"
     "I think not," said a man's voice on the other end. Through the plastic I could see two people walking toward our hole. It was Ifalna and Professor Gast. They walked out onto the plastic. Gast was holding a radio in his hand that was linked up with the intercom. "We've been after you for quite some time now," Gast said.
     "Me?" I asked. "Why me? I mean, I killed your daughter and all, but I thought we were all over that seeing as how she's alive again and all."
     "I wasn't talking to you," Gast said. "I'm talking about your 'mother.'"
     Yay! I'm important!
     "We're trying to save the planet," Gast said, "and the only thing standing in our way is the great 'crisis from the skies' known as Jenova. Because of her, the planet is still in great pain, and only by destroying Jenova can it be fully healed. The Northern Crater still exists as a giant wound in the planet, and the planet's energy is still being used to repair it. By diverting its energy to repair an unrepairable hole, several spots in the planet are not getting the energy they deserve."
     "Such as?" I asked.
     "Open your eyes and look!" he said. "The energy balance has been unstable ever since Jenova came to this planet 2000 years ago. Midgar has never seen sunlight in years-"
     "That's because of pollution," I said.
     "Not entirely," Gast said. "But other parts of the world are unstable as well. This continent is not supposed to have snow on it every day! Cosmo Canyon should not see that much sun in a lifetime! The lower regions of the Eastern continent have not been fertile for hundreds of years! And it's all Jenova's fault! Only by destroying her shall we finally have balance in the world!"
     "Oh," I mumbled. "Uh huh... I see... Yeah..."
     "Why're you mumbling like that?" Gast asked.
     "Huh? Oh, sorry," I said. "I haven't been paying attention. I've just been admiring my view of Ifalna. Did I mention I love her dress? Also, I love the leopard print panties she's got on."
     I found my camera around my neck, pointed it up, and snapped a picture. Ifalna looked down at me through the plastic, clamped her dress to her legs, and ran off the plastic. I shrugged and headed back to the intercom.
     "So what were you saying again?" I asked Gast.
     Gast stomped furiously on the glass. "That's it! I was going to let you go Sephiroth, but now, for the good of the planet, I shall destroy you as well!"
     "Damn man," I said. "Who died and made you God?"
     Ifalna walked back to the hole, but did not stand on the plastic. She waited off to the side, holding a video camera pointed at Gast.
     Sephy? What's going on? I wasn't paying attention. I was feeding Tiffany.
     "Mother," I said calmly. "I need you to do something for us. It's something important. I need you to telepathically talk to someone that likes us, and get them to save us. Someone like the Turks or Rufus or something."
     Okay... HRMMM!!! Done.
     "Jenova," Ifalna said. "I'm not going to save you."
     "Good choice Mother," I said sarcastically.
     I'll try again. HRMMM!!! Sephy! I need help! I'm stuck in a hole!
     "Mother," I said. "I hate you sometimes."
     Okay, one more try. HRMMM!!! Ah, okay. He'll do it.
     "Who will?" I asked.
     Well, he said he'll do it, but just cuz he wants to kill me himself.
     "Who Mother?" I asked again.
     Sapphire Weapon. We go way back, me and him. He tried to kill me back when I was just a little crisis. A 'mishap from the skies.'
     "Y-y-y-y-you just summoned forth another weapon?" Gast asked nervously. "Ifalna, grab everything worth grabbing! We need to get out of here, now!"
     Gast and Ifalna ran around the room grabbing bags, then they both ran out of the house. Before leaving, Gast pushed a button on the wall.
     "Just in case you're bluffing," Gast said, "I've reinforced your hole with steel, more cement, and more steel. If no weapon breaks you out, you'll both die of starvation!"
     Gast and Ifalna ran out quickly as a giant steel plate came down on top of our plastic ceiling. The room became pitch black, but it was only a matter of seconds before a giant blue humanlike hand ripped the top off our hole. I flew out of the hole with Mother and looked around. The house had been decimated, but the rest of the city remained completely intact. The Turks stood off to the side getting dressed while staring at the giant in the middle of the town.
     Sapphire weapon was probably one-hundred yards tall. He looked moderately human. I guess he could be called a centaur aside from obvious non-human features such as shining blue plate armor covering his whole body and head, vertical black slits for eyes, barbed shoulders, no mouth or nose, a rhinoceros-like horn, a body like a cheetah, and a snake complete with giant fangs for a tail.
     "Tell me Mother," I said. "Do we have to fight this now?"
     Yup!
     "Great. Is there anything I should know before we fight him? Like, should one of us go into the fight dead or something?"
     That sounds like a really stupid plan Sephy. I love yeh boy.
     "All right Mother," I said. "I've got a plan. Get your materia socketed stick out here and take all my materia. Except the black one. I'll hold that one. You cast bad spells on him, and good spells on me. Just to make sure you know what I mean, give me an example of a bad spell, and an example of a good spell."
     Fire bad.
     "Good job. Now what's a good spell?"
     Umm... Death?
     "No..."
     Tornado?
     "Try again."
     Pandora's Box?
     "Nope. One more try."
     Haste?
     "Good, now we're ready. Let's fight him!"