Sephy? Where're we going? The zoo? I love the zoo. It has possums!
     "Mother, I told you already," I said. "We're going on a covert operation to stop the ruler of Wutai from completing his slow take over of the rest of the civilized world."
     Then why do I care? I live in a very uncivilized world.
     "Will you just put on the black clothes like I asked you to?"
     But the ski mask is chaffing my brain.
     I'm sure the store clerk where we bought all these black clothes and ski masks was very suspicious of us, but I really don't give a damn. Mother also bought some spray paint to make Edwardo black. He kept licking at the paint, but that really just killed two birds with one stone; now his mouth was black too, and we was high from paint fumes, so he was very quiet. Mother nearly killed Tiffany again when she poured chocolate milk mix into Tiffany's bowl. Luckily I was able to pour it out in time. Since Hojo is also loud and annoying, I had him take Tiffany and find a hotel room at the Da-chao Hotel/Casino down the street. 
     "Mother, I think we should put Edwardo in the hotel too," I said.
     Too? Are you agreeing with me? Did I say to put Edwardo in the hotel?
     "No no. In addition to Hojo and Tiffany."
     Oh. Well, I guess since you see it my way, we'll let him tag along.
     "Wait, what?" I asked Mother confusedly. "I said to leave him."
     Exactly. He'll stay quiet and be a big help backing us up.
     "Mother, stop it." I said, then turned to Hojo. "Take Edwardo with you. And clean him up, he's disgusting."
     "It's so nice of you to include me in your plans son," Hojo said, reaching his arms toward me, possibly for a hug.
     I led Mother into the pagoda while Hojo took the animals into the hotel. 
     Sephy? Why're we in dark clothes and ski masks if we're just going in the front door?
     "I don't know Mother. It was your idea."
     Mother and I walked in and saw a fat man in a green robe sleeping. We crept passed him and headed up the stairs to the next floor.
     Holy donuts Sephy! Did you see that? He didn't even wake up! What a lazy guard. We must be the bestest covertiest people ever!
     "Good job Mother," I said. "You had to yell that now, didn't you?"
     Well, yeah. We're passed their security.
     "No, Mother, all we've done is passed their fattest security guard. Did you not notice the small boy right next to you, staring at you angrily?"
     "Small boy?" the boy said. "You must not know who you're dealing with. I am the all powerful master of the pagoda of power's second floor: Shake!"
     "Oh yeah, I've heard of you," I said. "I heard even the puny Yuffie defeated you. And I assure you, I can easily defeat her."
     "But I've gotten thousands of times stronger since then," Shake said.
     "Good. So you want to fight me?" I asked, removing my stupid ski mask.
     "O-o-o-oh God!" Shake stuttered. "Y-y-y-you're Sephiroth!" He raised an eyebrow at me, suddenly losing all his fear for some reason. "What happened to your hair?"
     "Shut up," I said calmly. "You ready to be slain in one blow now?"
     "I'm strong, but not you strong," he said. "Gorki! Chekhov! Staniv! Intruders on the second floor!" he yelled. Almost immediately, the fat man ran in from the lower stairs and a man and a woman ran in from the upper stairs. "Try beating all of us. If you can defeat us, then we will let you see Master Godo."
     "How kind of you," I said, unsheathing my Masamune. "Stand over there Mother."
     Mother hid in the corner and watched quietly.
     "You'll never defeat us," the fat man said. "I am the mighty Gorki of the first floor. The woman is Chekhov of the third floor, and the man is Staniv of the fourth floor. I assume Shake has already introduced himself."
     "Yeah yeah," I said. "Now will you guys please shut the hell up and fight?"
     "Waaaait!" a voice in the distance yelled. There was a bunch of noises from below us on the first floor that sounded like people banging on walls and stomping loudly. About a minute later, the four Turks ran up the stairs.
     "We're here to help you Seph-o-rama," Tseng said.
     "Who said I needed help? And how'd you get here? And where are your shoes?" I asked them.
     "Dude, it's like a temple or something," Reno said. "It's polite to take your shoes off. And we got here by riding that big flying blue dinosaur thing you guys used. We told him it was urgent."
     "So why do you think I need help?"
     "Sephmeister," Elena said, "do you know who these guys are? Just look! Like that one there. He's Staniv of the fourth floor!"
     "We'll take these guys one at a time," Tseng said. "Reno take Gorki, Rude take Shake, Elena take Chekhov, and I'll take Staniv. Sephster, you can have Godo when we get there."
     "Fine," I said. 
     Everyone surrounded the large mat in the middle of the room. Reno walked into the center, then Gorki approached him in the center of the mat.
    "Power Change!" Gorki yelled, jumping into the air. His jump took him five feet into the air, but then instead of falling down, a red glow cloaked him so that all we could see were two purple wings that shot out the sides. When the glow faded, he had turned into a demon creature similar to the Chaos thing I've seen Vincent turn into from time to time.
     "Hey Tseng," Reno said. "Put me down for beating him in one move."
     "Don't get cocky," Tseng responded. "Seriously, don't. I've got you down for beating him in three moves. That five thousand gil is mine!"
     "If you're going to just chat, then prepare to die!" Gorki yelled. "Demi 2!"
     A black ball of gravity hit Reno. He fought to stand up against the might of the gravity attack, then once the ball faded, raised up to his feet.
     "That's good," Reno said. "It usually takes me a couple six packs to make my knees that shaky. Still, it's time for you to lose now."
     "Dammit, he's going to use it," Tseng said. "I lost the bet."
     "Alcohol Poison Light!" Reno pulled down his sunglasses to cover his eyes and pointed his HBAR at Gorki. A greenish cloud burst out of the HBAR, followed by a bright light projecting straight at Gorki. The light flashed in a strobe like style, then split into two beams that flashed straight into Gorki's eyes, then all the effects quickly stopped and Reno lifted his sunglasses off his eyes and back onto his hairline. 
     "Ha!" Gorki laughed at Reno. "Your pathetic attack has no effect on me!"
     "Is he flying higher than normal?" Chekhov asked Staniv. Staniv nodded.
     Gorki's wings flapped faster with longer swoops. Seconds later, Gorki flew at Reno to attack. Reno didn't flinch at all. Gorki bared down on him with a foot stretched out to kick Reno, but his kick was almost three feet away from him.
     "What the hell?" Gorki said, flying back to his side of the room.  "There's like four of him. I- I think- I think I'm gonna be sick." Gorki's left wing started flapping at two times the rate of his right until he was so off balance that he fell out of the air and hit the ground. He hunched over and covered his mouth, slowly changing back into his human form. "I give up," Gorki said under his breath.
     "Sweet, the money's mine," Reno said. "Your turn Rude."