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There really wasn't anywhere to go. With the entire Shin-Ra army coming up the
stairs and the elevators, we really didn't have much of an escape.
Don't worry Sephy! I turned off clipping! Let's just
go through the walls!
"Mother, that's not possible," I said.
"It looks like there's only one way out of this."
Go back to my room and watch Sonic? He's the fastest
thing alive! He'll figure out a way out! He's escaped Robuttnic TONS of times!
Trust me!
I always considered just rushing Hojo's elevator.
He couldn't stop me. Too bad his damn elevator doesn't really lead anywhere.
Finally I decided my escape route. I led Mother to the stairs and we went up. I
could hear footsteps below me. It was hard not to when you've got so damn many
people crammed into one stairwell. We went up to the 69th floor and headed out
into the reception area. There were two long reception desks on either side of
us and two curving staircases just beyond those.
One on the left, one on the right. Sephy! Which
way!? Left or right! Choose quickly! One leads to safety, the other leads to-
"Mother please. They lead to the same
place."
Oh. So what you're saying is- We're surrounded! It's
a trap!
Mother hurled herself over the reception desk on
the left and kept peeking up to check of the coast is clear. I decided to set
Tiffany on the desk, then I picked up Edwardo and tossed him over the desk too
so that Mother could have a playmate. I decided to just stand in the middle of
that hallway and wait for everybody to arrive.
It took them a little while to figure out where I'd
gone, but I just stood there stretching while Mother played war.
No Edwardo! You can't go! It's suicide! Edwardo!
EDWARDOOOO!
Mother really has a good imagination. After all,
the only thing I've ever seen Edwardo do is lick himself. Well, that and bite
Rufus, but he hasn't done that for a while. Finally the troops arrived. All of
them. They filed in single-file and started to surround the room. For these
guys, surround the room was very literal. They wrapped around the reception
desks, went clean around the room itself, and several had to line the stairs two
to a step. I was pretty well surrounded. There was a large gap around me though,
which is actually what I'd anticipated. Either all the soldiers were too pussy
to actually get near me and tell me I'm under arrest or whatever the hell they
wanted me for, or they were leaving me room on purpose. The latter proved true
once Cloud and Zack took their time and finally climbed up the stairs and
entered the room. They stood at the end of the clearing and both pulled out
their swords.
Just like at the movies! Woo!
It looked really gay. Two boys with similar
haircuts wearing the same purple outfit and wielding the same bastard sword. I
decided to leave my sword unsheathed at the moment.
"So?" I asked them. "Why with Shin-Ra?
They pay well?"
"You bet your ass they do!" Zack said.
"I expected as much out of you two
mercenaries," I said to them.
"Don't confuse me with him," Cloud said.
"I told Shin-Ra I'd get you for them, but all I wanted was the opportunity
to fight you one last time."
"You sure that's all?"
"Well, the money is nice too," Cloud said
honestly, "but they won't pay me. I know Shin-Ra too well."
"They won't pay!?" Zack yelled at Cloud.
"Well shit man! You coulda told me that first! Hell if I care to get my ass
kicked by Sephiroth!"
"Oh come on Zack," I said. "Cloud'll
need your help. I'll take you both at once." I finally pulled out my sword.
Just li-
"Futurama was on last night, wasn't it,
Mother?" I asked.
Futurewhata?
"Well I'm a bit rusty, but let's see what
you've got," I said to Cloud and Zack.
Cloud was the first one to rush me. He used a simple
slash attack, which I easily blocked, then used his momentum to get on the other
side of me. I knew what he was planning. He was exposing my back so that Zack
could move in for the kill. I know Cloud enough to know that he was doing this
out of spite. I must've provoked him by telling Zack to help him. I had my own
techniques though. I quickly struck at Cloud with an overhead attack that he
blocked, but instead of backing off, I continued to push down on my sword,
leaving us both immobilized. This of course, got the attention of Zack, who
finally saw the opportunity to strike. Unfortunately for them, I polish my
sword-
Nightly! Woo!
I polish my sword often, leaving me a nice
reflection in the side of my sword. I wasn't even paying attention to Cloud. I was watching Zack; gauging his distance and attack style. The
stupid bastard went for a straight stab. Not exactly the best attack with a
bastard sword, but still, Zack was never the best swordsman anyway. I pulled my
sword-
You make this too easy Sephy!
I pulled my sword from Cloud's block and swung it
around behind me, effectively hitting Zack's sword and knocking him off course.
I backed up so that I was now facing both of them and fighting the battle on one
front. Both pursued me at once, thus beginning a seemlingly endless series of
attacking, dodging, and blocking. Cloud was relentless, slashing left and right,
up and down. Still, his movements were all easily predicted. Zack on the other
hand was one of the worst fighters I've seen in a while. He was obviously out of
practice. Still, his crappiness was very confusing since it was all so random.
There were several times that I had to make a last minute sidestep to avoid
getting a limb removed.
Like, yawn Sephy! I'm bored! I'm gonna go back to my
room and watch TV.
"Fine, Mother," I said between blows.
Th-
"I know! I know. Between blows. Hold on a
minute, Mother. I'll end this real fast."
As a man of my word, I ended it quickly. When Zack came
in for another stab attempt, I side stepped it, grabbed his arm, and pulled him
in. Cloud, who was beginning an attack of his own, stopped short so as not to
hit Zack. The slight delay was enough for me to hop over the hunched over Zack,
and bring my sword down on Cloud. He blocked it easy enough, but I followed up
with a solid kick to the face that Cloud didn't see coming at all.
Cloud laid on the ground, wiping his mouth with his
fist. I think he thought it was a macho wipe away the blood moment, but the poor
bastard didn't even notice that he wasn't bleeding. He was just drooling.
"Satisfied?" I asked Cloud.
Cloud nodded. "But keep in mind, that makes us
even. I've beaten you once, and you've beaten me once. We'll have to settle the
sc-"
"Yeah yeah. Look, Mother is getting impatient, and
I've gotta go. So will you tell all these Shin-Ra punks to back off and let me
go?"
"Can't," Cloud said. He rose to his feet.
"They're not working for me."
"Hrm. So how do I get out of here? Fight my way
out?"
"Something like that. Need a hand?"
"I thought you were working for them though."
"Like I said, I just wanted to fight you,"
Cloud said.
"We're really not getting paid, are we?" Zack
asked somberly.
"Well, not really," Cloud said. "I did
talk the Shinras into a half upfront deal."
Cloud reached into his pocket and tossed a bundle of
money to Zack. Zack pocketed it quickly.
"So you sold us all out for a tiny bit of money
and a chance to fight me," I said to Cloud. "Not bad. You sure you're
not the evil one?"
"Oh, I wouldn't say it like that," Cloud
said. He then took an odd pose, looking around at the ceiling waiting for
something.
"The hell are you doing?" I asked him.
Cloud crossed his arms. "There are supposed
to be alarms about now. Where the hell are they? I gave them the perfect
cue."
"What the he-" I started, but was interrupted
by a siren accompanied by a voice on a loudspeaker.
"Attention all Shin-Ra employees!" the
loudspeakers said. "The prisoners have all escaped! All soldiers cover the
exits and capture them immediately!"
"There it is," Cloud said. "But what
about the rest of it?"
"Oh yeah," the loudspeaker continued.
"Also, all employees! Mako Reactors one through six have been sabotaged!
A-all soldiers report to the remaining reactors and stop them!"
The soldiers in the room looked around at each other
and a large shrugging marathon began. Finally the soldiers dispersed and headed
for the stairs.
I get it.
"You do not," I said to Mother.
"Cloud, what the hell's going on?"
"Ever heard of a triple-cross?" Cloud asked
rhetorically. "Zack and I were contacted by Shin-Ra to make sure Avalanche
wasn't up to anything. So they put us in that prison. From that point on we
informed them of everything we were planning, with a few exclusions. Shin-Ra
decided it would take every soldier in this building to stop you, so we kept
them all following you. Then once you headed up to the 69th floor, we hung back
and opened up the prison cells, giving them all a clean getaway. And since we
captured everybody, they thought the reactors were safe. But we didn't
exactly tell them about Biggs, Jesse, Wedge, and the Pagoda Warriors. Two more
reactors and we're all home free."
Exactly! |
