T-Virus Breakdown

     (I didn't want to go on a field trip. Why does nobody ask me if I want to go? It's always "Squall, do this" and "Squall, do that." Why can't I just tell them? Tell them no. Tell them my true feelings. I hate hanging out with them. Most of them anyways. Mostly Zell.)
     "Squall," Rinoa said. "We're almost there."
     All the Garden students from across the world had gathered together to go to Disneyland. Nobody was quite sure what a Disney was, but they were all excited to go nonetheless. For some reason, Rinoa was invited as well. Nobody had invited her, and she wasn't part of Garden, but she still managed to get on the bus somehow without anybody questioning it. There were a total of seven buses. On the first six buses were a bunch of nobodies because all the important people were on bus seven. These included: Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Quistis, Irvine, Selphie, Seifer, Raijin, Fujin, and their chaperone Cid. Irvine and Selphie were seated together, which was for the best because they had both fallen asleep on each other. Zell was sitting next to Seifer after Seifer called him a wuss for having such a weak stomach when it comes to bus rides. Seifer didn't speak a single word the entire trip. Squall sat next to Rinoa, staring at her confusedly after she had interrupted his chain of thought for a mundane detail as to their estimated distance left to the theme park. Squall stared for several minutes, but Rinoa just stared back, scrunching her nose cutely at him. Cid stood at the front of the bus, turned on a light above him, and gave a small speech.
     "As you all can see," he began, "it's nighttime, therefore, when we get to the park, it'll be closed. We're way too cheap to pay for all of you kids to stay the night at the Disneyland Hotel, so we've arranged to stay the night at a motel in this scummy city moderately nearby. We'll be driving through the city soon, and I know it looks very poor, don't make any comments."
     "Excuse me," Quistis said, lifting a pencil in the air. "I'm making a log for the trip and I was wondering what the name of the motel is."
     "Oh, no problem," Cid said. "The motel is the Raccoon City Motel for Spicy Brains."
     "Thank you sir," Quistis said, then wrote the name in her diary.    
     Cid approached the bus driver and watched the road over her shoulder, all the while standing carefully behind the yellow line.
     "Where are the other buses?" Cid inquired of the bus driver.
     "Bah, don't worry about them," the bus driver said. "They're going on the designated route. I know my way around here though, and I'm taking my special shortcut."
     "I don't mean to pry," Cid said, "but you are aware that your shortcut is directly through somebody's extremely large garden, right?"
     "Oh you betcha," she said. "It don't matter much. There ain't nobody living in that mansion anyways. Besides, I've always gone- Holy Hell!"
     The bus driver slammed on the brakes, causing the bus skid along the moist garden soil. Despite the attempt at stopping, the bus still slammed directly into a Doberman pincher, launching the dog several hundred yards away.
     "Oh my God!" Quistis yelled. "You hit a dog!"
     "I did?" The bus driver asked confusedly.
     "Yes you did," Raijin joined in. "You launched him a couple football fields away, ya know?"
     "BRAKES," Fujin said.
     "Oh, I was hitting the brakes because this guy," she motioned to Cid, "was over the yellow line. But I think you kids are right. We sure hit something, 'cause now this bus won't start. Well, everybody off the bus."
     "Wait, what?" Quistis said. "Why do we have to get off the bus?"
     "To find a phone in that there mansion to call Triple A," she said. The bus driver pushed the lever to open the doors of the bus, and everybody piled out. "Now everybody walk carefully as a group to the mansion doors. And sir, in the future, stay behind the yellow line. It's for your own-"
     The bus driver interrupted herself when a strange howling noise started coming from behind the bus. Everybody turned in time to see a bloody Doberman pincher walk into the light still coming from the bus's headlights. The dog looked very strange, mostly from it's lack of a front leg, right ear, and lower jaw. The dog leapt toward the group, but nobody could tell where it had gone once it left the light. The dog's location was finally made aware when the bus driver started screaming from an unknown pain. Immediately, all the women and Zell started screaming, and everybody except for Squall and the bus driver raced for the mansion.
     (Why was everybody running. Nobody had told them to run. I wish that they'd stay. If they'd stay then maybe we could fight off this creature. Then again, we left our weapons behind, so fighting would be mostly futile. Zell doesn't need weapons to fight though. Of course, it'd be harder to fight him if he's in the dark.)
     "Squall!" Quistis yelled. "Move your ass!"
     Squall finally started jogging behind the group. Seifer and Zell reached the doors first and opened them. Seifer waited outside and started motioning for everybody to run in. Zell on the other hand was already inside. Once Squall finally caught up and ran inside, Seifer pulled the door shut.
     "Okay people," Cid said, still panting from the long run, "That dog had no jaw, so it can't have eaten the bus driver. That means she's still alive and we need to find a phone to call the ambulance."
     "We could find a phone quicker if we split up," Irvine said sleepily. "Groups of two search the house, right? It's a big house that'd take us hours to find a phone as a group, but as groups of two, I'd estimate a good, oh, say fifteen minutes. So it's me and Selphie. We'll search this way," he pointed to the door on the right side of the room. "I'll bet there's a bedroom there with a umm... What're we looking for again?"
     "A phone Irvy," Selphie said. Irvine nodded in agreement.
     "Hey, farther away from that dog the better, ya know?" Raijin said. "Fujin and I'll check up stairs and to the left."
     "PUSSY," Fujin said to Raijin.
     "I'll go with Cid," Seifer said.
     "Why with Cid?" Raijin asked.
     Seifer leaned in to whisper to Raijin and Fujin. "Because he's slow, and if that dog chases us down..."
     "Ah, I gotcha," Raijin said.
     "FAT," Fujin said. Raijin and Seifer both shushed her.
     "Come on Cid," Seifer instructed. "We'll take up stairs and to the right."
     "I'll go with Squall of course," Rinoa said, scrunching her nose at Squall.
     (Why 'of course'? What if I wanted to go with somebody else? Do I have a say in the matter? Why does she assume I like her? I think I do, but how can I be sure? I'll bet I don't even get to pick where we get to look. I should just say where I want to look, but people might think it was a bad choice.)
     "We'll check the left side," Rinoa said.
     "Guess that leaves me," Quistis said. "I'll stay here in this entrance hall. We'll meet up here to wait for the ambulance, so I'll make sure it's still safe in this room."
     "You're forgetting your partner, ya know?" Raijin said. Quistis looked at Raijin, who was motioning to Zell.
     "Oh damn," Quistis said. "Oh well. You guys better get going."
     Irvine and Selphie ran off to the right hand in hand. Irvine kicked open the door and they raced down a long hallway, giggling all the way. Rinoa tugged Squall by the arm into the room on the left side which turned out to be a very large dining room. Cid, Seifer, Raijin, and Fujin all raced upstairs, turned their designated directions, and proceeded to find a phone. Zell stood and walked to the doors that swung open after Irvine's eager rush down the hallway. Irvine and Selphie were already out of the hallway and into the next room.
     "Do you suppose they actually searched the room for a phone?" Zell asked Quistis.
     Quistis approached him, looked down the hall, and shruged. "I dunno," she said. "We could just check real quick, then head back to the entrance."
     Zell agreed and they both walked slowly down the hall. They scanned the room, only finding a few windows on the right wall and some display cases on the left. Still, they walked through the hall in case there was a phone out of eyesight. They walked side-by-side to the other end of the hallway. Suddenly, after they passed the first window, a dog looking similar to the dog by the bus jumped through the window, shattering the window. Quistis and Zell were not hit by any of the window fragments, but the window was the least of their concerns. The bloody dog stared at Zell and Quistis and growled, blood dripping from his teeth.
     "Hey Zell," Quistis whispered, "I didn't bring my whip, but didn't you say once that your weapon is those fists of yours?"
     "I might have," Zell whispered, "but right now I have more faith in these legs of mine."
     "Good plan," Quistis said. "Run!"
     Zell and Quistis turned away from the dog and ran the same way that Irvine and Selphie had just gone. The dog immediately chased them. As Zell and Quistis passed the other windows more dogs leapt through in the same fashion as the first one and immediately joined the chase. Zell ran faster than Quistis and reached the end of the hall, finding a door. Once Quistis was through, he slammed the door shut.
     "I don't think that'll hold them," Quisits said, breathing heavily.
     "There's another room," Zell said. "Let's hide in there."
     Quistis and Zell walked into the room and closed the door behind them. The room had a very high marble ceiling and another door to their right, but nothing else. Quistis ran to the other door to see where it led, but she couldn't open it.
     "It's locked," Quistis said.
     Quistis kept rattling the doorknob to the unknown room trying to get it open.

     "Irvy?" Selphie said. "I don't see a phone here."
     Selphie locked the door to the room she and Irvine were using as sanctuary. The room was moderately empty and only had one door.
     "What now Irvy?" Selphie asked, looking nervously at the door. "Are you sure we're safe in here from that doggie thing?"
     "Sure I am babe," Irvine said. "We were safe when we got to the house."
     "Then why're we in here?" Selphie asked.
     Irvine opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, the door started rattling.
     "Holy Religious Figure!" Selphie exclaimed, clutching Irvine by the arm and pulling his close.
     "J-just stay calm Selph," Irvine stuttered nervously, clutching Selphie's arm tighter than she clutched his. The rattling continued, followed by a banging on the door that caused Irvine and Selphie to jump. Irvine looked around in desperation. His eyes fell on an object on the wall that caused him to regain his cool. He pulled Selphie's arms off of his arm and walked toward the object. Selphie watched him and suddenly became very confident as well.
     "Hooray for Irvy!" Selphie yelled. She walked over to the door that was still rattling. "You're gonna get it now whoever you are!" Selphie yelled at the door.
     Irvine reached to the wall and pulled off the shotgun that was hanging on a plaque by two hooks. When he pulled the gun down the two hooks went up.
     "Hmm, that's odd," Irvine muttered.
     "Selphie!? Is that you in there?" a voice from behind the door yelled. "It's Quistis. Zell is here too. We were-" Quistis fell silent. "Holy Hell!"
     "What is it Quissy?" Selphie asked nervously.
     "Let us in! Quick! The ceiling in here is falling!"
     "Come on Quissy," Selphie said calmly. "You think I'm actually going to fall for that again? I still remember when you pulled this on me last Thursday."
     "Selphie," Quistis yelled through the door, "Whatever you're thinking of, it didn't happen."
     "Oh yeah, "Selphie said. "My bad." She grabbed the doorknob and unlocked the door. Quistis and Zell instantly pushed open the door and fell into the room with Selphie and Irvine. Sure enough, a large marble block fell in the room Quistis and Zell were just in.
     "If it was that close," Selphie said, "why didn't you try the other door?"
     "I did," Zell said. "It locked when the ceiling started falling."
     "Now the big question," Quistis said. "Well, two questions. First, why'd it fall in the first place? Second, how're we going to get out with that thing in the way?"
     "Maybe Irvine and I could lift it up enough to get to the other door," Zell suggested. He walked over to the marble block and started lifting. Irvine put the shotgun back on the rack and ran to help him when the ceiling started going back up.
     "You're doing it Zell," Selphie said.
     Zell continued lifting until he couldn't hold it up any higher, but the ceiling didn't stop moving up.
     "Sweet!" Irvine said. "No heavy lifting for me. Well, we can get out of here now. Lemme just grab the shotgun."
     Irvine ran to the wall, picked up the shotgun and walked toward the door just in time to see Zell dive back into the room and the ceiling fall back to the ground.
     "What the hell happened?" Zell yelled at them. "What'd you do?"
     "It's the shotgun," Selphie said.
     "I think we all figured that out by now," Quistis said.
     Irvine was staring at his shotgun longingly. "B-but we need it," Irvine said. "T-to fight off those dogs. Maybe we can get the shotgun and still escape."
     "Irvine," Quistis said. "Are you suggesting that we trick the ceiling?"
     Irvine nodded.

     "I think this is the dining room," Rinoa said to Squall. Squall was looking at a picture hanging on the wall. "Squall? What's that on the table behind you?"
     Squall turned away from the painting and looked down at a butter knife on the table. "Knife," Squall said.
     "Oh," Rinoa said. "Better take it with us. We might need it."
     Squall shrugged and put it in his pocket. Rinoa walked to Squall and pulled him into the next room. To their right was a dark hallway and left was a kitchen. Rinoa pulled Squall into the kitchen.
     "Squall," Rinoa said. "Check over in that corner. I'm going to check the refrigerator."
     (What're we looking for anyways? I don't think there'll be a phone in the refrigerator. Oh well. At least I'm not stuck with Zell)
     "Squall? Did you find anything?" Rinoa asked, looking in the refrigerator.
     "No," Squall said.
     "Too bad," Rinoa said. "I found these." Rinoa held up a box of handgun bullets.
     "What good will those do?" Squall asked.
     "You're not very optimistic," Rinoa said. "What if we find a handgun?"

     "Oh...my..." Cid said, panting at the top of the main hall's stairs. Seifer was bent over panting as well. "What...was that...back there?" Cid asked Seifer. "And were you...trying to trip me?"
     Seifer looked innocently at Cid and shook his head.
     "Are you...sure?" Cid asked. "You were...knocking over things...in my path..."
     Fujin and Raijin came running out of the door on the left and back to the stairs with Seifer and Cid.
     "BITCHES," Fujin said.
     "What were those things back there?" Raijin asked. "Those things were trying to bite me, ya know?"
     "Why is Fujin bleeding?" Cid asked Raijin.
     "'Cuz they bit her ya know," Raijin said. "Lots of them bit her ya know. That's why we came back here ya know. How many of them bit you anyway?" Raijin asked Fujin.
     "THIRTY-TWO," she responded.
     "Hey, check it out," Seifer said, running down the stairs. He picked up an object off the ground and walked back up the stairs.
     "It's a handgun ya know," Raijin said.
     "AMMO," Fujin said.
     "Nope, nothing," Seifer said, checking the clip. "Maybe we'll find some though."
     "Wait a minute," Cid said. "Where are Quistis and Zell? They were supposed to stay here."
     "That chicken-shit," Seifer said.
     "WUSS," Fujin said.
     "Yeah man," Raijin said. "Chicken-shit ain't too pc, ya know? Go back to chicken-wuss."
     "But that doesn't make sense," Seifer said. "It's redundant."
     "Enough of this senseless talk," Cid said. "We have to find the others. Let's stick together and find them." The four walked down the stairs. "I think Squall can handle himself for a bit, so we'll go after Irvine and Selphie first."
     At mention of Squall's name, Seifer tensed up and walked to the front door. "I'm not going with any of you," Seifer said. "I'm leaving." He opened the front door and immediately the dog's head poked in and tried to bite him. Raijin ran over and kicked the dog in the face, knocking him back through the opening. Seifer slammed the door shut. "You'll need my help," Seifer said and followed the other three to find the others. Cid opened the door to the hallway. The hallway was empty except for all the glass shards on the floor from the broken windows. from the other end of the hall was a loud crashing noise. The four ran across the hall and into another empty room.
     "I think it came from in there," Cid said, pointing to another door.
     The room emitted another loud thunk. Raijin ran to the door and opened it. Inside was a giant block of marble. The block started traveling up. Once it was about two feet off the ground, Zell, Quistis, and Selphie crawled out from under it on their stomachs.
     "Where's Irvine?" Cid asked.
     "He's trying out our puzzle solution," Selphie said. The three crawled into the hallway and stood up. Selphie cupped her hands by her mouth and yelled, "come on Irvy! You can do it!"
     "Everyone back up," Irvine responded from inside the room somewhere. Everybody took a few steps back and waited. A few seconds later Irvine came running out yelling. Once he was out of the dangerous room with a falling ceiling he slammed the door, held up the shotgun, and gave a victorious, incomprehensible battle cry.
     "Why'd you run?" Zell asked Irvine.
     "In case it didn't hold," he responded.
     Quistis leaned over to Cid and the others and said quietly, "their plan was to tie our shoelaces to the rack so that it wouldn't move up when he took the gun. It worked, but now we all have laceless shoes."
     "Now we have protection!" Selphie said happily. "Hooray for Irvy!"
     "Well, not exactly," Irvine said. "There aren't any bullets." Everybody sighed and started walking back to the main hall. "Wait," Irvine yelled after them. Only Selphie waited. "We might find some ammo."
     "That's true ya know," Raijin said. "We still need to find Rinoa and Squall. Maybe we'll find some stuff on the way." The group moved into the main hall, then headed to the dining room.

     "Rinoa," Squall said. "It's a shoe."
     "I know I know," Rinoa responded, "but we might need it later."
     Squall shrugged and took the shoe. He put it into the giant Hefty bag he'd found earlier. "Do you know where we are?" Squall asked Rinoa.
     "Y-yeah," she said uncertainly. "We went down the hall, and we turned -umm... well, we turned, and went through the place, and now we're here in this small room."
     Rinoa suddenly got very excited and pointed at a bookcase in the corner of the room. "Quick Squall! Check that bookcase for important things! I'll check over here."
     Squall approached the bookcase, but on his way over he accidentally kicked something on the ground. He looked down and saw a decaying, bloody human corpse lying on the ground.
     "Do you want me to take this dead body?" Squall asked quietly.
     "Shhh," Rinoa hushed Squall. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I think I'm on to something."
     Squall shrugged and reached for the corpse, but suddenly the corpse started moving. Squall pulled his hand back and watched the corpse squirm.
     "R-Rin-" Squall started, but Rinoa hushed him again.
     The corpse suddenly reached out and grabbed Squall's left ankle. Squall looked at Rinoa nervously but she was too involved with a combination locked safe on the wall. She found a slip of paper with clues on it, so she was testing out all her possible combinations to find out what's in the safe. The corpse had dragged itself to Squall's ankle and it began chewing noisily on Squall's ankle.
     (Oh damn oh damn oh damn. This hurts like hell. Should I ask Rinoa for help? She's busy. Maybe I should kick it. How can I kick it? It's biting my foot. If I kick with my other foot I'll fall over. I'll try it anyway.)
     Squall jumped slightly off the ground and kicked the corpse's head with his free foot. The corpse released him but Squall went over backwards and landed on his back.
     "Oh come on Squall!" Rinoa pouted. "I almost had it."
     Squall stood up and opened his Hefty bag. He left the bag open and walked over to the corpse. He kicked it again, looked around, shrugged, picked it up, and threw it into the bag. He closed the bag and dragged the bag over to Rinoa, limping all the way.
     "Got it!" she said excitedly. "Wow. Look Squall. That's like, four boxes of shotgun ammo, three boxes of handgun ammo, and a first-aid spray. I guess I can use the spray on myself since I broke a fingernail opening the safe."
     (But I need that spray. My ankle is in lots of pain. I-.... damn)
     Rinoa sprayed the entire first-aid bottle on her fingernail, then tossed the empty can into the corner.
     "What is it Squall?" Rinoa asked. "You're doing the silent thing again."
     "..."
     "Well, toss those bullets into the bag. And-" Rinoa cut herself off to smell the air. "Geez Squall. That bag smells horrible."
     "Well you made me put weird smelly things in it," Squall said. "Old shoes, wet broken floorboards, still burning tires, dead bod-"
     "Okay, I got the picture Squall," Rinoa said. "But what about all the helpful things we got? Like the cardkey, the chess piece with a weird shaped bottom, the C-4, the ice pick. That stuff has all come in handy so far."
     "You don't know that," Squall said. "You opened a door to nothing by slipping the cardkey in the opening, you broke the chess piece, you cleaned your nails with the ice pick, and you blew up the dining room with the C-4 on a hunch. Nothing happened except that there no longer is a dining room."
     "Geez you talk a lot Squall!" Rinoa yelled at him. "If you won't help me then you can just stay here." Rinoa grabbed the bag from Squall and tried to pull it along with her, but it was too heavy. She opened the bag, looked in, turned, and slapped Squall. "That's not funny putting a dead body in there! Get it out!"
     "..." Squall stared at her blankly, then reached in and pulled out the corpse. Rinoa grabbed the bag and raced out of the room with it. Squall dropped the corpse and walked into the hall.

     "Hey guys?" Zell said confusedly. "We went through the right door, right? Wasn't this the dining room?"
     "It was," Quistis said, "but it looks more like a giant crater now. Not to mention it's outside now. Something big exploded here. You think we'd have heard something."
     "QUIET," Fujin yelled. The group fell silent, but the noises outdoors were different from before. They heard an odd noise overhead that was steadily growing louder and louder.
     "It's just somebody calling for the chicken-shit," Seifer said. "See? Listen. Cock. Cock."
     "Funny as hell man," Raijin said dully, "but I think that's a crow saying kaa or something ya know."
     "We should get indoors right away," Cid said. The group moved quickly for the faint outline of another door that somehow survived the dining room explosion, but before they could reach it, a murder of crows swept down on them unseen; however, they only attacked one person: Fujin.
     "PECKERS!" Fujin yelled, swinging her arms wildly while everybody else made their way through the door. Fujin finally broke free of the crows and ran into the building for safety. One bird came with Fujin and was pecking wildly at her head, but Raijin grabbed the bird, threw it against a wall, and stepped on it. At the end of the hallway, Squall emerged from a door and immediately headed straight for the group as if he knew they were there before he even opened the door.
     "Hey Squall," Zell said. "You don't look so good. What's wrong? Where's Rinoa?"
     Squall looked up from the floor and said: "Rinoa is-"
     "Finished!" Rinoa yelled from the other end of the hallway. She was coming through the door at the end of the hallway, still dragging her bag of goodies with her. "Squall, I hate to say I told you so, but every last one of those things I picked up came in handy solving this whole insident. See, there's a door at the end of this hallway that needs two cardkeys: the one I had, and another that I found by using the butter knife to cut off the sole of the shoe to find the other, and there was a room with-"
     "A phone?" Cid said eagerly.
     "No," Rinoa said. "Better. Documentation of the T-Virus that shows that Umbrella-"
     "So we still need a phone?" Selphie said. "How come? I called for help about twenty minutes ago."
     "You found a phone and didn't tell us!?" Cid asked angrily.
     "Umm, yeah," she said. "I had a cell phone. I called when we got here."
     "Wait a minute," Zell said to Rinoa. "So if you say that everything had a purpose, then what was the reason for blowing up the dining room?"
     "For our escape," she said. "Didn't you hear when the main hall collapsed, like, seconds before you went through the door?"
     "About that," Irvine said, "I kinda dropped this giant ceiling several times making most of us temporarily deaf."
     Outside the door a car honked loudly. "They're here!" Selphie said and turned to run to the new exit, but a pale Fujin blocked her path.
     "BRAINS!" Fujin yelled and grabbed Selphie's head. Selphie screamed loudly.
     "Oh, don't worry," Rinoa said, pulling a spray bottle out of her bag. She walked over and sprayed Fujin until she released her grip and returned to her normal skin pigment. Fujin looked around confusedly, then joined everybody in walking outside to safety.
     "Wait a friken second!" Zell yelled. "Squall's bleedin' all over the place? Was he bitten? Why isn't he turning into a zombie?"
     "Come on Chicken-shit," Seifer said. "Squall's always been a zombie. You haven't noticed? Always staring at people without saying anything."
     "..." Squall stared at Seifer.
     "Get your crazy zombie eyes off of me bitch," Seifer said angrily, pointing at Squall.
     (I never liked these guys. They always talk about me. Low blows about me. Now what about Rinoa? She got really mad at me, but now she's just looking at me doing that nose scrunching thing again. What's with these people? And what about that chess piece? She said everything had a use, but what about that? And how'd she get by all those monsters without a gun?)
     "Squall?" Raijin said. "You comin' man?"
     (And how did Fujin survive with all that blood loss? And why didn't she try to eat any heads before? I don't remember ever wanting to eat brains before. I'm not really a zombie, am I? Maybe I am now. Nobody will ever love me now. Not even that psycho Rinoa. She'll probably hook back up with Seifer.)
     "Just leave him," Quistis said, leading the group out the doors and into the waiting car. Squall stared into the dark corridor as the car pulled away.

     Moments later the car came back and an infuriated Cid stepped out of the car.
     "I didn't think you guys were serious!" Cid yelled at the kids in the car. "We can't just leave him like that." Cid walked back into the hallway with Squall, put a ham sandwich by his feet, then went back to the car. "Okay, now let's go."

The End

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