The Junon forest sat still. The birds slept in high tree branches, and the funky looking gophers with antennae (capparwire is the technical name for them) rested, piled in groups of five, using each other for a headrest, all lined in a circle... well, I guess they weren't lined if it's a circle. In a small area of the forest, near the riverbank, a small blast of fire shot from a mysterious female ninja's arm, directed at a pile of broken tree branches and leaves, surrounded by a circle of stones. The ninja known as Yuffie Kisaragi circled the small flame before collapsing beside it, letting her arms fly wide open and hit the ground with a thud, but keeping her knees bent and feet flat on the ground.
     "I can't believe it," she said softly to herself. "They passed right by me. They didn't even know I was there. I attacked them for Christ's sake. Then when I try to talk to him later, what does he do? The spikey-headed jerk saves! Just turns his back on me. My response? I stole five-hundred gil from him, hoping that he'd come back for it. I don't think he even noticed the money was gone. Out of the whole group passing by, the only one to notice me was that red dog, but that blonde moron just yelled for him to heel...or maybe he was yelling for him to heal. Yuk-yuk-yuk, I'm so clever, and brilliant, and attractive, and lonely. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT BLIND BLONDE BITCH!?"
     The forest echoed her outburst, but quickly became silent once again. The only noise she heard was the flickering of the fire, and her own humming. She closed her eyes and began drifting off to sleep, her humming rendition of I Want it That Way slowing, her knees relaxing, feet sliding forward until her legs were fully extended. Soon after, the humming ceased, her head rolled to one side, and she fell asleep.

     The next morning, Yuffie blinked until her eyes would fully open, and stretched her arms out while yawning loudly. She pulled the maroon blanket off of her and stood up.
     "Wait a minute," she said confusedly. "I didn't have a blanket."
     She picked up the supposed blanket and examined it. It had a very trapezoidal shape to it, and an excessively tall collar at the small end of it.
     "Wow, a cape! This is cool," she said while wrapping it around herself. She unbuttoned the collar, put the cape on, and buttoned the collar. The collar was enough to completely cover her face.
     "I thought you might be cold," said a male voice from behind her. She turned around, but because of the collar, she still could not see her savior from the previous chilly night. "I will, however, need my cape back."
     Yuffie unbuttoned the cape and came face-to-chest with the tall, dark man known as Vincent Valentine. Vincent grabbed his cape by the two opened corners of the collar on both sides of Yuffie's head, and suavely pulled the cape off of her, swung it around them both, and buttoned it around his own neck.
     "You shouldn't leave your campfire burning like that," he said. "Not only could it start a fire, but it might also attract monsters to you, and sleeping is not a good defense."
     Yuffie stood motionless, starring into his eyes. She slightly nodded her head to try to appear to be listening, but unsuccessfully. Vincent held out his right hand.
"The name's Vincent Valentine," he said formally. She put out her hand, but was unable to find his hand without breaking her love stare, which she didn't dare break. He took her hand and shook it.
     "I-I...uhh," Yuffie spoke without listening nor caring what she said. "I am...uhh... I am you...uhh...fee..."
     "Are you lost, umm... You-uh-fee?"
     "No," she said, still blankly. "I'm hidden."
     "All right," he said, turning his head, forcing Yuffie to break her stare. She shook her head and blinked a few times.
     She licked her lips and asked: "So what're you doin' here?"
     "I was hoping to be found," he said. "I'm also 'hidden' as you called it. A group led by this ignorant blonde guy looked like they were going to come rescue me, but they walked right past my prison. The only member of the group that looked like he'd have even the slightest chance of finding me was their red dog. He ran up to the door, sniffed it, and started yelling something, but the group didn't seem to like the talking dog, and they just ignored him, and he followed silently."
     "Why'd you need to be found?" Yuffie asked.
     "I thought I was trapped. I was locked in a basement with a bunch of bats and creepy two-headed zombies, and the key had been locked away in this safe. When the group left the mansion, this silver-haired guy unlocked the door and said something like 'it doesn't look like they're coming back, so why don't you just go,' and I left. Then I was told about this place I could go, so I've been traveling to it, and along the way, I saw your fire."
     "Oh, well then, could you take me with you?" Yuffie asked excitedly. "By the way, my name is Yuffie." She extended her hand.
     Vincent looked at her with a feeling of deja-vu, and once again shook her hand and said, "Vincent."
     "Wow," Yuffie said. "I don't know how, but I already knew that!"
     Vincent lowered his head in embarrassment and murmured to himself, 'she hasn't spoken to anybody in a long time, cut her a break.'
     The pair traveled southeast to the entrance to the Mythril Mines. Vincent entered slowly while Yuffie followed. They followed the twisting path within the mountain pass, occasionally battling weak groups of monsters. Vincent saw the exit to the cave and walked slowly towards it, when Yuffie shouted, "wait!"
     Vincent looked back at her to see her sniffing the air much like a dog.
     "They forgot materia," Yuffie said, running back through the cave alone, taking a side path. She returned approximately five minutes later, holding a purple materia.proudly.
     "What is it?" Vincent asked.
     "Materia!" Yuffie responded happily.
     "I know that. What kind of materia?"
     "The purple kind. Independent materia."
     Vincent sighed at the lack of progressive answers. "Okay. What is the specific use of this particular materia?"
     "Ohh," Yuffie said, finally understanding what he's been getting at. "It's the Long-Range Materia. It makes it possible to attack from the back row and do the same amount of damage as a front rower."
     "Don't you have a boomerang?" Vincent asked, looking at her collection of boomerangs in the bag she carried.
     "Yeah, those birds have tons of them," she said.
     "So why do either of us need a Long-Range Materia?"
     She stared long and hard at the materia, shrugged, and tossed the materia into her bag. After a brief silence, they both headed out of the cave and into the marsh.
     "Eww," Yuffie said, lifting her foot out of the cold, wet marsh and staring at it. Vincent was already across the marsh after his quick dash across it. Yuffie slowly crossed the marsh, complaining the whole time.
     "Hurry up!" Vincent yelled at her. "The Zolem's coming!"
     "The WHAT!?" Yuffie yelled back, now running across the marsh. Her dash was in vain, however, as the large snake caught up to her and entered it's attack stance. Vincent ran forward to assist her.
     The three entered an intense battle. Vincent ran to the snake's left, firing many shots from his Quicksilver at the snake's head. He never missed a shot, and all of his shots hit the snake directly between the eyes, harming him greatly but his thick skin protected him from a quick death. Yuffie ran to the snake's right side, readying her boomerang, but before she could throw it, she tripped on unseen weeds buried under the marsh's fog. The Midgar Zolem attempted to bite Vincent a couple times, but missed. Finally, the Zolem arched back and began its devastating attack known as Beta.
     "Vincent!" Yuffie yelled after regaining her footing. "Quick! Throw me your gun!"
     Knowing there was no time to question her request, Vincent threw her his gun. Yuffie gently rubbed a yellow materia which was socketed into her boomerang, then reached out with an unknown use of ninja-like speed, grabbed the gun flying by her, arched her back, lowered her shoulder, and threw Vincent's Quicksilver at the oversized snake. The gun hit the side of the snake's face, and fell to the ground.
     "You've just killed us all you know," Vincent said.
     The snake stopped its Beta attack to turn to face Yuffie. Yuffie began frantically looking around for anything to use against the snake, but before she could ready herself, the snake's tail lashed out and knocked Yuffie out of the marsh. The snake turned back to face Vincent, but was unable to find him. Small green lights shot up from behind the snake, then quickly ceased. Immediately after, low growling noises erupted from behind the snake. The snake spun around frantically until he faced the very appalling, very purple, Galian Beast. The Beast immediately began his most powerful attack: Beast Flare. Small orbs of orange light began collecting around the Beast, then it released the collected energy in a mighty blast focused directly at the snake. An orange glow filled the sky, and when light and smoke cleared, all that could be seen was Vincent, walking through a patch of marsh which was refilling itself with the murky waters which had temporarily evaporated from the blast. Vincent picked up his Quicksilver which lie undisturbed, yet slightly buried underneath a layer of wet dirt, and continued walking toward Yuffie.
     "So did you have a plan?" Vincent asked. "Or was that little stunt of yours entirely by accident?"
     Yuffie pulled out the shiny yellow materia from her boomerang. "It's called the 'Throw' Materia. You use it to throw other things at enemies with good accuracy."
     "Anything, huh?" Vincent started walking toward the nearby chocobo stables. Yuffie followed. "So you chose to throw a gun? Did you think, no, never mind. It's over and done with. It was a nice throw. Good job."
     Yuffie smiled and ran to catch up to Vincent. She ran around to his right side and latched onto his arm.

     They reached the chocobo stables. There were four chocobos in a pen, perfecting an odd dance. Yuffie stopped, released Vincent and watched the odd dance without blinking. Vincent proceeded into the chocobo stable alone.
     Vincent walked into the stable of standard colored chocobos except for one green one in the corner stable. He saw a lone boy standing in the middle of the stables, watching his younger sister care for the green chocobo. Vincent approached the boy and said, "Hey, kid, we need a chocobo to go as far as Midgar. Can you supply us with one?"
     The boy looked up at him and responded, "No. All these crummy chocobos belong to this one doofy blond guy. He's a pretty weird guy. He comes, gives us these nuts, and stays for nights and nights until his chocobos mate. Anyway, this kid took all our goods. He took our last 'Chocobo Lure' Materia and he reserved every stable in this place. Those chocobos in the pen are his too. He just forgot he owns them. However, if you were to steal a chocobo of his, for a fee, I wouldn't notice." The boy smiled evilly.
     "How about if I rob you of a chocobo?"
     The boy looked around confused. He looked back at his sister who was holding a greenish sponge.
     "They painted the chocobo!" she yelled to him, pointing at the now yellow chocobo.
     The boy chuckled and looked back to Vincent, but instead stared down the barrel of the Quicksilver.
     "We'll take one of those in the pen and be on our way." Vincent walked out of the stable while the boy cringed in fear. Vincent walked toward the pen with the dancing chocobos, but they looked like they were doing something besides dancing this time. They were all in a huddle around a fallen chocobo, and directly on top of that chocobo was Yuffie, hitting and kicking it in the stomach. Vincent ran quickly toward the huddle to see Yuffie supplying a final, swift kick to the chocobo, while the other three chocobos pecked at her. Vincent stood and watched. The impact of Yuffie's foot made the fallen chocobo let out a high pitched waaaark! Immediately after, the chocobo spat out a red gob of what seemed at first to be blood, but when Yuffie ran over to it, picked it up, wiped off the choco saliva, and raised it in the air, it was quite obviously a red, summon materia.
     "Choco-Mog!" She screamed in triumph. The three attacking chocobos stopped pecking her when the fallen chocobo stood up and wark ed at them a bit. Yuffie had apparently saved that chocobo from choking on the materia, and now the chocobos were thankful. The chocobos lowered their heads down to Yuffie and Vincent to offer themselves as transportation. Vincent got on one and Yuffie on the other, and they rode northwest toward Kalm. Vincent rode silently. Yuffie on the other hand, constantly bragged to Vincent about her latest materia, even though Vincent was obviously not paying any attention to her whatsoever.
     "Did you see that one!?" She yelled to her partner to her left. "It was in his throat! Am I good or what? I mean, wow. I can find materia like it was... was..."
     "Valuable?" Vincent said unenthusiastically.
     "Was that a joke?" Yuffie asked, trying to see a facial expression over his tall collar. "Wow. I never thought you had it in you. And hey! Materia isn't just shiny rocks used for combat."
     "They're not?"
     "Uhh... okay. Maybe they are. But they aren't valueless. They're a way of life!"
     "Only the Wutaians," Vincent mumbled.
     "Hey jerk! If you want to make fun of my people, say it to my face."
     Vincent pulled on his chocobo's reins to stop him, and the chocobo did so. Yuffie snapped her chocobo's reins at this and her chocobo sprinted ahead quickly.
     "Sucker!" Yuffie yelled back to her halted companion. "I'm so going to beat you."
     Vincent snapped at his chocobo's reins and his chocobo began to speed along behind Yuffie's. Yuffie's chocobo soon began to get tired and started walking again. Vincent's chocobo quickly caught up again and fell into stride with Yuffie's. Vincent moved his chocobo toward Yuffie's until they were practically bumping into each other, Vincent's on the left, Yuffie's on the right. Vincent glared at Yuffie, and she humorously returned the stare. Then Vincent quickly reached down to his belt for his gun but was unable to locate it without breaking the stare. His eyes continued to stare at Yuffie's eyes while his right hand patted his side in an attempt to locate his Quicksilver. He finally broke the stare for a split second to search visually for his gun but instead of seeing it in its normal holster, he found himself staring down its barrel.
     "Super sucker!" Yuffie said, pointing the gun at his nose. "Looking for something? Whoo-hoo! Score two for the Yuffmeister."
     "You think you're good huh she-ninja?" Vincent said sinisterly. "Well watch this."
     Vincent held his metallic claw on his left hand upward to the sky. The sunlight hit his claw, reflecting directly into the ninja's eyes. Yuffie reflexively shut her eyes and started moving her unused arm toward her face, but before she could fully shield her eyes from the sun's reflection, Vincent opened his hand, palm toward the gun-wielding ninja and thrust it upward, hitting the end of the gun's barrel with the bridge of his hand. The hit broke Yuffie's grip and spun the gun upward out of her hand. Vincent's hand came down on the gun, catching it by the hilt upside-down with his pinky on the trigger, then he jammed the barrel of the gun into Yuffie's mouth. Her eyes opened widely in surprise of the new taste of steel in her mouth. She stared cross-eyed down at the gun in her mouth. Her gaze then fell on Vincent's eyes which again were looking directly into her eyes. He snickered and pulled the gun from her mouth.
     "What's that make the score?" Vincent asked suavely.
     "It depends," Yuffie said. "Can you shoot with your pinky finger? Here," she said, pulling a gil from her pocket. "Hit this."
     She threw the gil into the distance to Vincent's left. He waited one second, then turned his head to the right, looking over his shoulder, then without repositioning his grip on the gun, tucked his right arm under his left arm and fired. The gil immediately disappeared with a metallic plink sound. Vincent looked back at Yuffie.
     "Not bad old man," she said. "We'll call the score even, two all."
     The startled Vincent looked back at Yuffie. "Old man!?" he said. "I'm not old. I'm only twenty-sev-"
     "Oh jeez," she interrupted. "Yeah right. You aren't twenty-seven. You're like, fifty or sixty or somethin' like that. You can't pull that on me, I know what's up."
     "What're you-"
     "Oh come on. Nobody has dressed like that for years! High collars and tight pants went out years ago."
     "No they didn't. They're the hip thing. Wait. How long was I asleep? What year is it?"
     Yuffie leaned in and whispered into his ear.
     "Whoa," Vincent said. "I guess I am old. I slept for a really long time. No matter. These clothes will be the high fashion again in another couple years, just you see."
     "Yeah, sure," she said. "If you say so. Now come on. We're almost at Kalm."
     The two arrived at the entrance to Kalm and dismounted. "Wait a minute," Vincent said. "I thought we were going to Midgar."
     "Hold up a minute," she said. "This won't take long."
     Yuffie ran off to do her thing while Vincent waited by the chocobos. She started walking into people's houses and search around through them until she was thrown out. Then she went to the next house and repeated the process. Within five minutes, she met back up with Vincent at the chocobos.
     "You finished with the pillaging?" he asked. He started twirling his Quicksilver in his right hand.
     "Oh be quiet," she said, pulling something out of her pocket. "I got some good stuff. No materia, but I did find this." She pulled out a gun and tried to imitate Vincent's twirling.
     "Hey," he said. "What's that?"
     "Oh, just something I found while pillaging. Spoils of war. I found it in this one person's attic. It was in a box labeled 'Family Heirloom' so I figured you'd like it."
     "I do. That's a Peacemaker. Hand it over." He lunged for the gun, but the she-ninja was too quick for him.
     "Apologize," she said, taunting him with the gun.
     "For what?"
     "Oh come on. You're a man. That's how you get anything out of life. Once you say 'I'm sorry for everything I've done, I'm so terrible to you and you're such a kind person to tolerate me,' I'll give it to you."
     "I still don't get it, but okay, sorry. You rock. Can I have it now?"
     "Yes, you may," she handed the gun to him, and mounted her chocobo. "Shall we?"
     Vincent got back on his chocobo and raced ahead of Yuffie. "You don't know where you're going," he yelled back to her. Follow me."
     The two chocobos raced off to Midgar until they reached a small airship parked on the Midgar outskirts. The ship had a banner reading 'To Cameo Appearances.' The ship was piloted by Cid Highwind and so far nobody had boarded.
     "Hey, all aboard for Cameo Land," Cid yelled at the top of his smoke-filled lungs.
     "I think that's where we're going," Vincent said.
     Yuffie shrugged and followed him.
     "Okay Smelly Man," Yuffie said. "Load us up I guess."
     "What's the fee?" Vincent asked.
     "Fee?" Cid said quietly. "I never thought about that. How's fifteen gil?"
     "Works for us," Vincent said looking at Yuffie. "She'll pay."
     "Huh?" Yuffie looked confusedly at Vincent. "Oh, okay. Sure. Thirty gil. But why do I have to pay?"
     "Because it's my money anyways, isn't it?" Vincent looked Yuffie in the eyes. Yuffie looked away.
     "Cool, thanks guys," Cid said. "I just need to pick up this one guy Cloud, and we'll be off. He said he wants to check out this medieval place about tactical umm... stuff. I dunno. Anyway, we're just waiting for him, then we're off. He's been on a few time before too. My biggest customer. Even though I never charged him. I guess I never charged him 'cause he's my party leader for one, and also, he's kinda bad at thinking. I doubt he'd ever be able to count to fifteen, even when counting by fifteens."
     "So what does Cloud look like?" Yuffie asked.
     "He's right over there." Cid pointed behind her to an approaching chocobo ridden by Cloud.
     "THAT GUY!? I hate that guy! Oh damn. What a way to ruin a good trip."
     Cloud boarded, Yuffie headed for the ledge after the first jolt of the ship and got extremely green in the face. Cloud followed her and gave her tips on how to not get motion sickness. She paid him back by throwing up on him.
     "Oh dammit all!," Cid yelled after take-off. "I just remembered all the shit I gotta do here. I can't go with you guys. Uhh, you with the claw hand!"
     Vincent looked up at him.
     "Yeah you. I'm putting you in charge of the ship."
     "I get to command this gigantic ship?" Vincent said unhappily.
     "#^@$ no!" Cid yelled back. "I need the Highwind. You can have one of those crappy emergency thingies. It'll fly you where you need to go, now all of you get off my %#@in' plane!"
     Vincent, Yuffie, and Cloud all made a run for the door marked 'emergency thingy' written in crayon. Vincent opened the door to a smaller ship which they would use to fly themselves to their destination. Yuffie found the driver's seat and quickly claimed it. The steering looked all too simple. There was a steering wheel, a couple pedals, and a stick.
     "It's a car," Vincent said. "Cars don't fly."
     "But it's a car with wings," Cloud said from behind him. "I think Cid's intention was to make an evacuation vehicle which would float to the ground, then have the ability to travel away from the crash site."
     "I think you're full of shit," Vincent said. "You act like Cid is smart. My guess is he took a car, wrote 'emergency thingy' on it, stuck a couple cardboard wings on it, and told safety inspectors it was safe."
     "Good @$%^in' luck getting anywhere with that thing smarty pants!" Cid yelled before slamming the door and cursing some more.
     "If it's a car," Cloud said, "then where are all the seats?"
     "Okay, so he gave us a really bad car," Vincent said. "I guess we really are screwed."
     "We sure are," Yuffie said from the driver's seat's area. "I can't drive a stick!"
     A giant hidden door opened in front of the emergency carplane. Yuffie revved up the engine and tried to drive forward, but instantly stalled the car. Vincent took over the controls. The door was only wide enough for the car to get through without the wings, but Vincent knew they wouldn't help anyways; he only hoped that Cid would have the decency to put them over something which would cushion their landing like water, but Cid was not that kind. He had dropped them off directly over their destination: the city of Mideel. Vincent restarted the car and drove it out the door, breaking off the wings in the process. The car instantly began to freefall, front-end first directly over the Mideel forest. Yuffie started screaming, but Vincent and Cloud remained calm. Vincent moved from the driver's seat and pulled Yuffie from the passenger seat to the back of the car. Cloud reached behind him and pulled out two parachutes. Yuffie smiled and looked at Vincent accusingly.
     "I don't think Cid'll miss them," he said, putting one on himself. Cloud put on the other, gave Vincent and Yuffie a thumbs up, and headed to the right side door. Vincent grabbed Yuffie tightly around the waist with his good hand and moved to the left side door. Yuffie returned Cloud's thumbs up, and both Cloud and Vincent kicked out the doors simultaneously. The wind rushed past them roughly, but both were holding onto the still installed handles by the door, and therefore could still stand their ground without being blown back too much. Cloud jumped first and immediately pulled his cord. His chute opened quickly and he started slowly drifting to the ground. Vincent jumped slightly after, still holding Yuffie tightly. He also pulled his cord immediately and started drifting toward the ground. The car, shortly after, hit the ground and exploded into a ball of flame, which the group hoped they would not float into, and didn't. They touched down, Vincent and Yuffie first, then Cloud. Both parachutes were caught in trees, but they detached from them quickly before getting wrapped up. Yuffie dusted herself off and checked her hair, but the other two continued walking toward the city.
     Yuffie caught back up with them as they entered the city, and headed directly for the item shop. They entered the shop and Yuffie immediately started sniffing the air.
     "Mmm, materia," she said and walked toward a small white chocobo.
     Cloud and Vincent walked toward a door in the back, behind the man at the counter.
     "What do you two think you're doing?" the store clerk asked. "You need a password to get back there."
     "A password?" Vincent repeated. "Okay, how about 'the spiky haired guy is going to bludgeon you with his sword's handle.'"
     "Wha-"
     Cloud hit the man over the head with his bastard sword's handle, knocking him unconscious. He slumped to the floor, and Cloud dragged him out of the way of the small door.
     "I wonder what's back there anyways," Vincent muttered.
     "One of us should go first to scope things out," Cloud suggested.
     They both looked over at Yuffie, who was currently wrestling with the tiny chocobo. She got the chocobo into a headlock, then looked up at Vincent and Cloud when she noticed they were talking about her.
     "I'm a bit busy," she said, and resumed her fight with the chocobo.
     "Okay, I'll go," Cloud said. He opened the door and walked in. The door swung shut behind him. Vincent walked over to the counter and sat on it, watching Yuffie fight with the tiny chocobo. She finally wrestled the materia from the chocobo and started dancing around the room holding it.
     Only a few moments later, the door swung open and Cloud staggered in, then collapsed on the floor. Vincent jumped down from the counter and Yuffie stopped her dance, then both ran over to help Cloud stand up. Yuffie and Vincent stood on either side of Cloud, slung his arms over their shoulders, and helped him stand.
     "What happened in there man?" Yuffie asked.
     "What number..." Cloud started muttering obscure things. "Not a number... Uooaaa... Noses.... Xenogias..."
     "I wonder what happened to him," Vincent said. Vincent and Yuffie carried Cloud outside and sat him down outside. Yuffie ran down the dirt path to a place marked as the clinic, and returned moments later, running with a wheelchair and a doctor running in stride with her.
     The doctor approached Cloud, closely examining him. "My god, you didn't!" the doctor said. Vincent and Yuffie looked at each other and shrugged. "This boy looks like he's seen, it." Vincent and Yuffie looked at each other and shrugged again. "He hasn't been, there, has he?" The doctor looked up at Vincent.
     "Look doc," Vincent said, "would you finish a damn sentence please? I have no idea what you're talking about."
     "The door," he said. "The door in the item shop. The door that must not be opened. He hasn't been there, has he? It is off-limits. We must guard the door more closely!"
     Vincent waved his good hand at the doctor and quickly said, "no no no, it's nothing like that. D-door? We haven't seen any door. We just got here. He was in the-"
     "Forest," Yuffie helped.
     "Right, the forest," Vincent continued, "and he got umm..."
     "Mako poisoning!" Yuffie yelled.
     "My goodness," the doctor said. "This is quite a case of Mako poisoning. I need to get him to the clinic right away. Please excuse me. I'll have your friend fixed up as soon as possible, but it might take a while."
     "Oh, yeah, about that," Yuffie said. "We don't really know him. We just found him in the forest, and he means nothing to us. When he's better, don't bother looking for us. We're going to just, buy a few items then leave, okay? Bye."
     "Well, goodbye and thank you kind travelers," the doctor said. "You could have very well saved this young man's life."
     "Whatever," Vincent and Yuffie said in unison, then turned their backs on the doctor and walked calmly into the item shop.
     The store clerk still lay unconscious on the floor, the chocobo was running around frantically, and the only person in the store was a creepy lady who was running around the store, trying to find things she wanted to steal while the item shop clerk was out cold. Vincent and Yuffie ran to the door and stared at it.
     "Mako poisoning?" Vincent said to Yuffie while still staring at the door.
     "I read it on the board of the clinic," she said. "This guy is writing a book about it I think, so I figured he'd go for it. He's probably examining every part of that clod's body trying to see the effects of Mako when they're this bad."
     Vincent grabbed the handle of the door. "Now I'm curious," he said.
     "I'm scared," Yuffie said.
     "Unhhh."
     "Uh oh," Yuffie said. "The store dude is coming to. What're we gonna-"
     Vincent swung the door open, grabbed Yuffie's arm and tugged her in, then followed, closing the door behind him. The room they entered was not what they expected at all. They were in the middle of a narrow hallway with maroon carpeting, many wooden doors, and stone walls. The hallway was lit by several torches which lined the walls. They turned to look at the door which they had just come through. Carved into the wooden surface was a VII.
     "I don't get it," Yuffie said. "Is this what we were searching for? Is this the place you were talking about?"
     "I think so," Vincent said. "I've only heard rumors, but I think we actually found it."
     "Okay, thanks, but if you could answer the question. WHAT IS THIS PLACE!?"
     "I'm not sure. I've just been told to go here if things don't work out."
     The pair walked down the hallway, reading the doors. Other doors were also marked with roman numerals, but not in a sequential order. Yuffie continued to read the doors while Vincent walked to one end of the hallway.
     "This is weird," Vincent said. Yuffie looked his direction and saw what he was looking at. One end of the hallway was boarded up with a sign that said 'Please Be Patient. We're Building For Your Future Enjoyment.'
     "This place is messed up," Yuffie said. "I'm not good with these letter-numbers, but this goes I-IV-VI-VII-VIII-V... It doesn't make any sense. And I don't know what was going on down here. There are some letter-numbers I've never even learned. Then some doors even have words on them. It's weird."
     Vincent ran to the other end of the hallway and stared at an engraving in the wall. Yuffie ran to join him.
     "The World Is Square?" Vincent read. "I really don't get this place."
     "Well, we can't go back," Yuffie said. "The store dude is awake now, and we'll be busted if we leave."
     "Just remember that our door home is V-I-I-"
     Behind them, a door creaked open. The pair spun around to see a man in white armor creep slowly out of the door marked IV. He saw them at the end of the hallway and faced them, standing tall. Vincent pulled out his gun and pointed it at the man.
     "Hey," Vincent yelled. "What is this place? What're we doing here? What are you doing here?"
     "Do you threaten me with that unsharpened object?" he asked, unsheathing his sword. "You cannot defeat me. I am Cecil Harvey of Baron, and I will not be talked to in such a manner. If you wish to fight me, use a real weapon and let's have it out."
     Vincent aimed his gun and fired, hitting the hilt of Cecil's sword, knocking it out of his hands. Cecil bent down and slowly picked up his sword.
     "You're some type of mage, aren't you? I cannot defeat a mage in quarters like this!" He turned and jumped into the nearest door. Yuffie and Vincent ran to the door and examined it.
     "Secret of Evermore?" Yuffie read. I don't know man, this is creeping me out. Should we just try a door and hope for the best?"
     "You can," Vincent said, "but I want to find the door that Cloud went through."
     "How're we gonna find that door? Trial and error?"
     "No, I think I already know which one it was. You said something about doors that aren't numbers in roman numerals, right?"
     "Yeah, there's a door with a 'T' and a door with an 'MQ.' M is a letter-number, but not T or Q... but then again, I was bad at letter-numbers in school."
     "He also said something about a 'Xenogias' or something, right?"
     "I think so."
     "Well, if he went in this one marked 'T,' then the door directly across from it is labeled 'Xenogears.' If he went in the 'T' one, then he would have last seen this word when he stumbled out. My guess is he went in this one, and I want to find out what's in there.
     "Righto. See ya later then. Hope your brain doesn't fry 'n stuff."
     Vincent opened the door marked 'T' and went in. The door slammed behind him.
     "Then again," Yuffie said, "he talked about both the non-number and the Xerox thing, but he didn't say which order. What if he went in the Xerox place and read the 'T' on his way out... Oh well. If it had those effects on a guy like Cloud, then there is no way I'm going in either one. In fact, I'm just going home. I'm a ninja. I can avoid a fat store clerk and a nerdy doctor dude. Now, which way was home? Umm, he said it was VII. But that dude walked in. What if he was stuttering, or what if he didn't finish. What if it's VI, or VIII? Oh no. Well, there's only one way to find out. It's time for rock, paper, scissors! I guess this wall is my opponent. okay, if you win, it's VII. One, two, three! Ha!" Yuffie held out a flat hand. "Okay, paper beats rock, I won, so it's not VII. How about VI? Ready? Rock-paper-scissors! Ha!" Yuffie held out two fingers, spread apart. "Doh, rock beats scissors. You win. I guess it's VI." Yuffie opened the door and walked in. The door shut behind her.

to be continued...