Squall,

So, I threw you a parade in honor of dumping my daughter and you don't show up!? And I considered you being my adopted son for dumping my daughter... The Muzzle Man is very disappointed, and if I must I will invade Dollet so your skinny white ass will come and I can kick it nice and good, I will. And by kick it I mean, have RVCs come and bite it off. That's right, I used the RVCs left over to form an army of RVCs that will even invade Garden if it need be.

And the parade was just marvelous too, I had a giant float shaped like a cock and we were gonna name you "Squall Leoncock, bringer of the Orgy", even if the orgy had taken place in Balamb. We had stripers ready to dance on the sides of the float too. We even captured Odine (or at least somebody that looked like Odine) and tied him to a stick and were gonna burn him, but noooo, we set him free... True that the RVCs escaped from the sewers of the gateway killing hundreds (that Ward guy is soooo getting his ass sued), and since we invited the Galbadian students, the cult attempted to do a transformation. They poisoned the drinks set up in some areas of the city, and that killed many people (surprisingly none of the cultists). Not to mention the RVCs managed to drink in the poison, so now they are twice as poisonous, but at least when you die a horrible death of venomous fangs ripping through your jugular vein, you'll taste the refreshing taste of Kool-Aid. Well, so the parade didn't go exactly as planned, but it was still a riot. I may be getting impeached, but I'll go out with a bang, I assure you.

Don't be surprised if you find a orphan with a bomb strapped to his chest in your office,
President Caraway