Hello, Squall! How've you been?

I hope you're doing well, because I'm sure not. Things haven't been going well for me since I got rid of that Odine character. (Can you believe how big he's gotten already? That's screwed up!) I was under so much stress that Kiros and Ward thought it was time I took a vacation, so I did. I'm on vacation right now in Deling City, and it's been pretty relaxing without all the mechanical crap I deal with every day. I'm really enjoying it.

Or at least I was.

I was sitting outside at a diner in Deling City, waiting for the waiter, when I spotted this hot chick walking by. Oh, man, she was soooooooo hot! Long, blonde hair, blue eyes, full lips, nice legs, and a rack bigger than your whole body (I exaggerate, of course)! So my first instinct said to sidle over to her and ask her out, so I start to do just that. But my awkwardness with women kicked in at the worst possible time, and before it, my pulse was racing, my palms were sweaty, and my legs were numb. I totally collapsed in the middle of the street!

Unfortunately, an oncoming car nearly made roadkill out of me and ran itself off the street trying to avoid me. It ended up crashing into the diner, taking out most of the outside tables, one of the front walls, a few of the inside tables, the front counter, and a very unlucky, mentally-retarded diner who didn't know how to move his wheelchair on his own. The whole incident caused over 75,000 gil in damage (including estimated funeral expenses for the retard) and the manager of the diner gave me a choice: either he would press charges and I'd end up going to prison, or I'd have to take a job there at the diner to pay off the damage. Well, I was sure as hell not going to that crappy Galbadia Prison. (Do you know what they do to guys like me in there?!) Now I'm gonna be spending the rest of my vacation working here at this diner. Me! The President of Esthar! Going from a position of high power to working a low-class job!

Oh, well. That's enough for tonight. I start work early tomorrow morning, so I've gotta get some sleep. See you soon.

Yours truly,
Laguna