I tell you story. It start off sexy, zen become sad. It sexy sad story.

I waz making with ze sexy rappingz of much sexyness. Odine have sold out crowd! Zere were sexy ladies throwing underwearz and some guyz who were throwing underwearz too but zey scared Big O zo I no pay attention to zem. I do big opening number and sexyness waz EVERYWHERE! Zen it all go bad. Bad like two-year-old Cachicken egg left in hot sun. Smiley-Face Garden Staff Men (you know zem, zey wear ze hats with yellow and ze robes) were in ze audience and zey were okay at firzt. Zen zey start telling Odine zat he suck! But I too clever! I zay, "Odine no suck! YOU suck!" Ze sexy ladiez laughed and Odine waz big man on campuz. Zen ze Smiley-Face Garden Staff Men start throwing eggz at ze great Odine! Zat is AZZAULT! Zey have horrible aim zo and most of ze eggs missed and hit ze roadiez. Poor roadiez. Zo I zay, "You want egg-fight? ODINE GIVEZ YOU EGG-FIGHT!"

Zo I grabz ze Cachicken (he sing backup on next song) and I squeeze out eggz (Cachickenz lay eggz on command! Buy zem today!) and zen I throw eggz back at Smiley-Face Garden Staff Men. Odine laugh like sexy pirate az Garden Fresh Men run away. But zey no run away for long! Zen zey come back and climb up on stage! I zay, "Where ze hell security?" Zen I remember zat I gave ze security fisticuffs for inzolence and zey in hospital.

Zo I try to find way to make ze Midnight in Ze Garden of Good and Evil Men go away without making ze Big O look like panzy, yez? I zay, "YOU WANT RAP BATTLEZ WITH BIG O???" Off ze top of head, I lay down phatz rhymez.

"Big O lookz at Garden men and zay,
'I no likez you. Go away.'
You face zo ugly you momma cry
Zen takez pillz until she die.
I want dollar for every ugly you had
Zen Big O have dollar and you be sad.
Get on kneez and zay you had enough
Or else Big O givez you--"

Ze audience lovez Big O zo much zat I let zem finish ze line. All at once, zey zay, "FISTICUFFS!" and I waz happy. Zen ze Garden State Men lookz at each other likez big stupid men. Zen zey throw grenadez. And I zay, "ZAT NOT HOW YOU RAP BATTLEZ!!!" and run for cover. Odine stage ruined. Odine equipment ruined. Odine audience scared away.

Zen when ze Garden of Eden Men run out of grenadez, zey start to run likez scared girlz. My fisticuffs are LEGENDARY and zey know zat ze no stand chance without weapons. Ze hood slip off one of zem and I see zat it was LAGUZA LAWYER ZE WHOLE TIME!!!!! Odine should have known zis!!!! Only Laguza stupid and coward enough for grenadez and run from sexy rap battlez! He think he won, but HE LOST! Odine have another show tomorrow!

AND ZE DOGORILLAS ARE TRAINED TO KILL LAGUZA ON SIGHT ZIS TIME!

Zincerly,
Big O/Dr. Odine/Laguza Lawyer'z sworn enemy, yez?