Hey dipshit, guess what? I just thrashed the hell out of Galbadia and you know what? It felt awesome, so I'm gonna rub it in so you know how much of a loser you are. At midnight I started hearing chants and saw the cultists start a huge fire. Some dude who looked like he could be Cid's brother was tied up and ready to be made as a sacrifice--like I care. I knew it was my shot, so I took it. I, using my superior athletic abilities and Jackie Chan-like skill of running up walls at the corners, quickly scaled the wall around the back and snuck in. Needless to say, I met some resistance, but they were weaker than you! Obviously, I made it to the bonfire, and, sure enough, there was that asshole Martine, egging on the crowd with the chant, "Jimmy, Jimmy, Oom-ba-yay, Jimmy, Jimmy, Odin's Fillet, Jimmy, Jimmy, Oom-ba-yay..." so, after a quick moment of listening, I heard Rinoa's voice (she's probably the only girl there, and if not, she's the only one that sounds female still) and found my way to her. She seemed not to recognize me, which I expected, since you've neglected her all this time and let her fall prey to the brainwashing, but after a couple of your key phrases, namely "I will not become just a mere MEMORY!!!!", she snapped out of her trance at least to some degree and came willingly. That was just about when other cult folks noticed and started yelling, "Lovely Rinoa! Lovely Rinoa! Rocky Balboa!", and while I don't know why that last part got tossed in there, it was all enough to catch Martine's attention. He ordered his cult to attack me, but I had already rushed at him with my gunblade at the ready. I slashed him and pushed him back with my foot, and he fell into the fire. Sadly, he didn't die from this, but he did run around quite a bit while the cultists stood around wondering what was going on. Meanwhile, I spotted a useful rope hanging from the ceiling, swung like Laguna, and grabbed Rinoa in midswing. We landed close to the exit, so all I had to do was growl at the zombie-like guards, who ran away, and we were home-free. Now, I'm outside of that god-awful place, resocializing Rinoa (who's now fully aware that I'm not you--she doesn't care and she doesn't like you, so back off--and who is getting back in the swing of things), and I've succeeded in being the hero this time. Ha! Burn in hell, sucka!

You just got owned,
~Seifer