Squall Leonhart:

     How are you? I haven't heard about you or your doings in a long time. Have you been feeling all right? Most people haven't been hearing too much from me, and it's not just because of the whole mute thing. Here's the story:
     So after all that pheromone business, Kiros and Laguna and I more or less returned to our normal lives. I went back to work and at my desk in Esthar HQ there was a notice about Odine's former lab. We've taken over his lab since he left to become the next big thing and there was a notice that they needed somebody to inspect the lab before they could lay waste to the place. So I went alone to do the inspections and inside I saw horrible things. Animal parts were everywhere and CDs were strewn all over the ground. I nearly gagged on the smell of the place, then I was about to sign the demolition notice when I heard some faint meows and clucks and other noises. I knew I couldn't have the lab blown up until all the animals were safely out, so I told the crews to take the explosive charges down while I freed the animals. That's where things went horribly wrong.
     While the crews were taking down the charges, one of them triggered some booby trap that sent the whole lab into lockdown. And let me tell you, it's a full-on fortress in there. I looked everywhere for the override button, but I just couldn't find it. I was trapped inside for a full two weeks before I found the button.
     It was in that time, trapped by Odine's traps, that I learned some of the secrets to his work. I read several books about how to update animals to make them better than before and it seemed just so simple! I'm hardly a geneticist, well, I was hardly one. Now I am one. I was really bored in that lab. Now, after countless books and manuals and hands-on experiments, I've learned how to create new beings!
     Well, sort of... I guess it's unfair to say I understand the genetics of it all. It was more that a bird and a pig were in this chamber together, I pushed a button that said "mix" and soon enough I had flying pigs- or as I called them- "Pirds". They don't fly well, but think about it! You have an animal that upon becoming food, has all the best parts! Pork wings will be the next big thing!
     As I was enjoying a meal of my experimental "Bucket of Pird Wings", my hand on the control panel slipped (Pird wings have a LOT of grease) and I pushed the mix button. Then I noticed I had formerly bumped another button labeled "Replicate". I started freaking out like crazy. What had I done?! I found out what I had done shortly after as my first experiment emerged from the chamber. A snake, specifically a viper, had crawled in as it was chasing a cachicken. By mixing the two (or three) animals, the thing became unusually rabid (and venomous), so I called them "Rabid Viper Cachickens". They were deadly. They mostly killed each other, but they did it quickly.
     I was finally freed from the lab, but now I just can't leave! It's too much fun! Not to mention all the money I've made! President Caraway of Deling City requested a bunch of RVCs for his wall, and I'm starting to make some decent money!
     Business is just getting started, I can feel it. If you could please do me a favor, Squall, and stick to the code of silence you and I know and love. Don't let Laguna and Kiros know about this. They'll figure it out soon enough, but by then it may be too late! RVCs cannot be stopped! At least not this many can be stopped!
     ....One just bit me. I have to go figure out if a cure exists. I'm.... I can't see too well.

Dinvrtrly,
Estf