Squall.

How's your day, man? Good? That's good. My day- no, my week? HORRIBLE. Holy cow, man. Remember my problem from last e-mail? Handstands because of constant- you know. Well, everybody is cured of the pheromones now, right? And Kadowaki is helping people out with their side effects and whatnot. Well you see... I'm not cured!

The pheromones are gone, but I'm still- like... Just look at the subject line! I... I think I'm losing brain activity because of the blood flow being a bit more diverted than normal.

My girlfriend still can't get enough of me. She gets kinkier by the day and because of lower brain activity (or whatever) I'm starting to really like it. She's kinda making me into a sideshow freak, what with all the women (mostly) that she's been inviting to "share our fun." She and the other ladies absolutely love me because I don't exactly finish, and since I've done so much stamina and strength training, I can "go" until they finish. I'm a regular ladies man, but I'm also a horrible freak. Some of the women are offering to make me like, specialized bathrooms and chairs and whatnot just as long as I don't cure myself, but I just have to get cured. I'm still talking to Kadowaki about cures, but those conversations and tests aren't going well...

Squall, I hope for your sake that this pheromone thing wasn't your doing like people are saying it is. I know you and Rinoa had a split, but you had to release pheromones just so she would take you back? What's with that, man? Tell me it wasn't you, please! Otherwise, I'm kickin' your ass for this. It's just not cool. Not at all.

Good luck disproving the rumors (if they're indeed rumors),

Your buddy (for now),
Zell Dincht