Squall.

Hey, man. Seriously bad things are happening here. I didn't get all the information because my girlfriend was so hysterical when she told me, but there was something about her walking through the garden and some woman knocking her down and hitting her with whips. So it's like, whatever, you know? But my girlfriend is telling me all this, then she gets to the good stuff. Well, bad stuff.

So guess what my girl learned? She learned that she's totally hot to the whips and the chicks that hit her with them. So yes, I am now single because yes, my girlfriend has now decided that she is a lesbian. She doesn't have a girlfriend at the moment, but she's pursuing her lesbianity by searching the world for women with whips that are into that kinda punishment thing.

So I'm completely single. And by the way, my problem has gone away. No more handstands. I'm happy and sad. No more of my... problem. But no more girlfriend either. Things kinda suck.

See ya,
Zell